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People must have a clear understanding of themselves, in order not to let themselves fall into embarrassment and embarrassment, self-knowledge is the foundation, only on this basis, can meet the right people, can find the right direction, can break out of their own piece of the sky.
Zhejiang Gongshang University girls were scolded for their mate selection
8 years ago, with the broadcast of a blind date program, a girl named Zhou Lanjun was besieged by netizens, and the heat at that time was comparable to the blind date show next door that year.
Zhou Lanjun's astonishing quotation at that time was as follows:
"I have a career and a degree, why can't I have a spouse with a family property of 50 million?"
"My dream is to marry a rich second generation, and then stand on a higher platform, and the two people go hand in hand and struggle together."
"I have seen the plain faces of other female celebrities, but they are not as good looking as me, and I feel that I am not inferior to female celebrities whether they are good-looking, intelligent, or diligent."
At that time, Zhou Lanjun was only a female student at Zhejiang Gongshang University, compared with other girls, she was mature in her thinking, she was not willing to find a boy in school to fall in love, she wanted to get married, but the premise was that the partner's value was more than 50 million, she thought that her own education, wisdom and appearance were worth such a partner.
At school, she had many suitors, but she refused, and the other three girls in the same dormitory were in love, but she tried to find the ideal partner through dating websites and blind date programs.
The red bride of the dating website said that on her terms, she can find a partner worth 20 million, and she directly mentioned 50 million.
She expressed her firm belief with the staff, and when asked why she must find a partner worth 50 million, she said the above-mentioned remarks that were scolded by netizens.
The awkwardness of the blind date process
In order to be able to match his goals, Zhou Lanjun specially learned etiquette.
The first male guest introduced to her by the program group studied abroad and founded his own investment company, which has a value of more than 50 million yuan, and Zhou Lanjun is very satisfied.
On the day of the blind date, she got up early to dress up, but arrived at the blind date, the rich second generation of the blind date was delayed, and later told the program group that something could not come temporarily, under the questioning of the staff, the other party said that he and Zhou must not be able to come, and they did not come.
Zhou Lanjun originally had great expectations, but he did not expect to be rejected before they met.
Fortunately, he introduced another guest to come on a blind date.
The opening is good, the other party is very polite, but when it comes to getting married and having children with a baby, the two people have a big disagreement, the male guest hopes to have a child after the wife brings the baby herself, and Zhou Lanjun believes that this limits her freedom, she does not want to be a free nanny.
The two men finally broke up.
Later, the program team introduced her to a 25-year-old boy with an annual salary of hundreds of thousands of yuan and considerable potential, and Zhou Lanjun directly expressed that his purpose of coming to Zhejiang was to find a rich and handsome man.
After chatting for half an hour, the male guest excused that something had left early.
The thing behind a blind date
After Zhou Lanjun initially expressed her true thoughts, the program team told her that if she insisted on doing so, she would definitely attract attention and be scolded by netizens.
At that time, Zhou Lanjun said that he didn't care, because these people would not affect her.
Later, after the program was broadcast, Zhou Lanjun did become the target of public criticism, and even the program group was implicated, and the program group stood up to clarify, saying that this was Zhou Lanjun's own real thoughts, and then he aimed his head at Zhou Lanjun.
Even Zhou Lanjun's classmates and teachers have been attacked by netizens, which is "Internet violence" in today's words.
Half a month after the program was broadcast, Zhou Lanjun contacted the program team and said that she had recognized herself and no longer had any thoughts, because she had hurt her classmates and teachers, so she hoped to be able to cut this content.
However, her request was rejected, and later she published an article called "Newborn calves are not afraid of tigers - the stupidest thing I have ever done", in which she said that she was routine, when after recording the program, she realized that she was inappropriate, contacted the program team to hope to cut it, but was rejected, the reason is: "Let more people know you, discuss you, let you become a topic, so that the rich second generation knows you." ”
Why did Zhou Lanjun, who was in his youth, have such thoughts?
When studying, students are actually relatively simple and arrogant, they are more concerned about their own circles, and few female students are as precocious as Zhou Lanjun and have such whimsical ideas.
For a poor student, she should be able to be satisfied with an annual salary of hundreds of thousands, why does she directly want a rich second generation of 50 million?
This has something to do with her upbringing.
Zhou Lanjun was "abused" by the kindergarten teacher when she was a child, her father originally worked in a research institute in Bengbu, the salary was very low, her mother was the aunt of the housekeeper, both of them were not highly paid, but the work was very busy, and she often went to work on weekends, so she could only be put in the nursery.
The nursery teacher could have rested, but because he had to take care of her, the rest time was occupied, so he vented his dissatisfaction and anger on her.
This experience was too dark for Zhou Lanjun.
Later, Zhou's father decided to quit his job at the research institute and work in Xiamen, and the whole family left his hometown and went to Xiamen's economic conditions were slightly better, but the consumption level increased, and her parents also had no money to provide her with good educational resources, so they could only send her to a relatively poor school.
At that time, the school atmosphere was not good, the teacher directly asked the students or parents for money to ask for cards, Zhou Lanjun's classmates regularly sent mooncake cards to the teacher, Zhou Lanjun's family did not have this spare money, so the teacher carried out "cold violence" against her, making her childhood life full of darkness.
These encounters she silently remembered, affecting her understanding of money, she did not tell her parents, she suffered in silence alone.
And this has become the fundamental reason why she wants to find a rich person, she feels that everything is illusory, only money is the most realistic.
Therefore, childhood experience is the most influential on a child's three views, the family environment and school environment, can not be ignored.
Now that life is back to calm, Zhou Lanjun is still unmarried, but her life is full
The experience 8 years ago made her unable to look back, and it was precisely because of her ignorance at that time that she re-examined her own view of money and redefined her life and goals.
Now over 30 years old, she is still single, Zhou Lanjun has long stopped dreaming, she is down-to-earth, founded her own company, will share food on social platforms, share their lives, live a full and beautiful life.
This is a lost girl, as she said, she has wisdom, hard work, and it is precisely because of these good qualities in her body that she will not go too far in ignorance, when she realizes her absurdity, reposition herself, and move forward in a good life.
The influence of the original family and the early childhood environment on a child is important, but the child's personality is complex, the influencing factors are also complex, and a well-raised child, even if there is a short loss, can eventually find the right direction again.
Adults should not always blame all problems on the original family, when they realize the problem, they should stop drilling the horns, stop screwing, reposition, start again, and still get a good life.