This used to be a woman's plea for help, she said that her husband had been cold and violent for a long time, and she was very broken and almost went to extremes.
At that time, she was just seven months pregnant with her second child, and she didn't know whether she was in a bad mood or whether her husband was really unsatisfactory. She said that because of the problem of the child, she had many quarrels with her husband. In the beginning, the husband would find excuses to prevaricate her, or coax her, and try to avoid quarrels. In this way, she stumbled all the way through the pregnancy. After giving birth to the second treasure, she was even more anxious, and when she quarreled again, she found that the man began cold violence. When she has dissatisfaction and wants to vent her emotions, men will only say "I'm tired, you shut me up", and she gradually began to be silent from the initial hysteria.
The problems of the two people have never been solved, and she is often upset, and from time to time she quarrels and vents her inner dissatisfaction. During that time, from the beginning of her pregnancy to the second treasure, she did not go to work, she was very dependent on her husband, and her heart was very uneasy. Afraid of being abandoned by him, the slightest chill on his part would make her anxious. One of the things she asked the most was, can we still live? If not, just get a divorce. And her husband often drops a sentence: "I don't want to think about this now, I'm very annoyed and messy, you give me a few more days to reply to you." "When my husband said this, people tend to disappear for a few days. These days, let her call, send messages he does not respond. When he came back, it was as if nothing had happened, and he wouldn't mention it. At this time, she began to be good to him again, even with a flattering attitude towards him, but still could not solve the problem. And then again and again.
In such a state, her gaze was always on him, while taking the child hard, while being cold and sad, it has been two or three years. The child was a little older, and she also felt that it was not a matter of going on like this, so she thought of cheering up and trying to solve the problem. At this time, she also realized that this marriage cannot be separated, after all, there are already two children, easy divorce, adults are relieved, but what about children? When she decided that she could not divorce, she thought about saving the marriage, so she inadvertently saw my article and left me a message about her situation. Later, with our joint efforts, she slowly found the idea, after hard work, a little bit to save the marriage, husband and wife feelings, became normal, each other have confidence to live.
The process is no longer too much to describe, directly take the most core part, take it out and share it with everyone, hoping to help women who have encountered cold violence in marriage.
In marriage, a woman's feelings are sometimes very sensitive, especially emotional changes in a man's attitude, which is especially obvious when he changes from love to non-love, from warmth to coldness. If you feel the coldness of a man, don't suffer too much, remember to do the following four things, you can make him fall in love with you again.
One, stop relying too much on men.
Many times, in the eyes of men who love you, your dependence is a kind of bird dependence, and if you don't love you or even a little hate you, your dependence is a burden that will upset him. He will also have a psychological advantage because of your dependence, and he will pay less attention to you. If he's starting to get bored, if you don't realize it, continue to rely more on it, and trying to make him value you through dependence will only make him more annoyed. At this time, you can be moderately distant, don't ask him for help in big things and small things, you have to start learning to be independent, so that his habit of being dependent, the psychological advantage of being dependent will change.
Second, don't frequently ask the reason, and don't repeatedly test whether men love you or not.
Men are indifferent, there will be many reasons, one is that they may not love, one is someone outside of marriage, one is facing pressure, there are troubles that are difficult to say. For these reasons, he could not say it directly. Of course, sometimes there is no reason, just a subconscious manifestation. At this time, the more you ask, the more likely he is to actually look for the cause and amplify the so-called cause he found. The result of the questioning is only to embarrass, disappoint and chill yourself. Also, don't test whether he loves you. If his indifference is just an emotional problem, your temptation will make him resentful and he really doesn't love you anymore.
Third, shift your gaze from men to yourself.
The relationship between men and women is sometimes very strange, the more you care about a person, the more you treat him, the more you stare at him, the more he may not cherish. So, when a woman feels cold, she should consider starting to change and improve herself well. You know, instead of humbly expecting the other person to be good to you, it is better to silently build a good self. Only when you become excellent and more attractive can you attract more of his attention. So, shift your mind, shift your gaze from the man to yourself, and don't try to make him love you, but try to attract him to love you.
Fourth, don't be humble to please men, but learn to please yourself.
The more humble a woman is, the less cherished she is, and sometimes, lowering your posture may reduce the conflict between you and the man, but it will not make him truly love you, especially when he has begun to be indifferent to you. If you realize that humility and flattery cannot be exchanged for cherishing, then stop doing these things, and realize that instead of pleasing others without dignity, it is better to free up energy to please yourself and make yourself feel comfortable. When your state becomes better, when your mood is better, you can really increase your charm. Charm is the magic weapon to achieve a man's love and liking.
In fact, the above four steps, not so much to save the marriage, but rather to save yourself, when you become independent and excellent, when you are strong inside, when you learn to get along, you are not afraid of loss. In this case, men are easily attracted to your changes and it is easy to fall in love with you again!
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