Parents for children, not only parenting and companionship, in their growing time, parents are the longest contact with them, but also the most influential adults for them. As parents, your every word and deed, every move will be projected in their lives, laying the foundation for their life pattern and character development. Therefore, parents must strive to achieve the "four haves" and be an example for their children!
In the process of children's growth, parents are the first objects of contact and imitation of children, and they are the people who have the deepest influence and greatest influence on children.
Every word and deed of the parents, every move will be projected on the child, and then have an impact on the child's life. In order to educate children into what kind of person, first of all, parents must become that kind of person.
01
Parents are well-cultivated, and children are well-educated
Education comes from every bit of life, and the family is the main battlefield of education. We often say that the family is the child's first school, and the parents are the child's first teacher.
As Rousseau said: Man's education begins at birth, before he can speak and listen to others. The words and deeds of parents are of great significance in children's education.
In the traditional culture of the mainland, there is a saying that "it is not the fault of raising a godfather", and Leo Tolstoy once said that "all education, or 999% of education, comes down to example, to the integrity and perfection of the parents' own lives."
Education is a silent process, if you want your child to become a cultured person, first of all, parents should also be cultivated.
Countless examples tell us that behind educated children stand cultivated parents, and behind bear children often stand unqualified parents.
Young children will imitate their parents' behavior to gain a sense of security with their parents. Over time, this imitation gradually internalizes into the child's personality.
If parents exhibit uncultured behavior, then the child will also become uncultured by imitating this behavior.
The moral education of parents leading by example is an important part of the child's sound personality shaping. It determines whether the child's moral character is noble and whether it is appropriate to deal with things properly after growing up, and the significance of all this is far greater than the impact of genetic intelligence on the child's life.
Your cultivation is the upbringing of your children. To cultivate and cultivate morality, to cultivate morality, and to require children to do it, parents should first do it.
02
Parents have a pattern, children can be excellent
"Pattern is the basic structure of a person's spirit, it shows a person's open-mindedness, but also a direct reflection of a person's inner spirit", the parents' vision and pattern, determine the breadth of the child's world.
Zeng Guofan said: "Those who seek great things are the first to pay attention to the pattern. "Parents have a big picture, and children can go a long way."
As a parent, you can't only care about whether your child is full or not, whether he is warm or not, and his concern for his child cannot only stay at the material level, but also care for his children at the spiritual level.
Raising children is not only "raising" but also "nurturing". In addition to material satisfaction, parents should consider what kind of person their children will be raised.
Parents with a big picture can create all kinds of possibilities, let children see their own abilities, find their own value, and thus become strong inside.
The pattern of parents determines the child's vision and attitude towards the world. Becoming a parent does not mean losing yourself, and parents with a big pattern will not put all their strength on their children, but give their children the space to live and think independently.
Ten years of trees, a hundred years of tree people, education children can not be in a hurry. The purpose of raising children and educating children cannot be simply understood as honoring their ancestors, making big money, and buying a big house, and if the parents' pattern vision is limited to this, the child's pattern will also be limited.
Parents should have a big picture, as Gibran wrote in the poem, "Your children are not your children." ...... They came into this world through you, but they did not come because of you,...... You can give them your love, but not your thoughts."
Parents have a pattern to open up their children's future.
03
Parents have a vision, and children have a broad future
The Analects says, "No one has far-sighted worries, but must have near-term worries," which applies not only to our daily lives, but also to educating children.
In the parents' vision, there is a child's future.
There is a saying in the "Warring States Policy" that "parents love their children, then they have far-reaching plans for it", as parents, no one does not plan for the future of their children. Although parents cannot impose their own ideals on their children, they can contribute to their children's ideals or future.
The journey of children's growth always has to face many forks in the road, at an important crossroads in life, parents need to provide guidance to their children, then the parents' vision reflects the value.
I heard a story about a little girl who was particularly fond of drawing and had a great talent for painting. Friends of the little girl's parents suggested that the little girl's parents find a teacher for the little girl and raise the child well.
Although the girl's parents verbally agreed, they never cared. Later, as time progressed, the little girl's talent was exhausted.
Wang Anshi's Fang Zhongyong is also talented, but because his parents have no foresight, he eventually disappears from everyone.
Forward-thinking parents will plan for their children's future according to their children's actual situation. To make your child happy is by no means to keep your child in a free range state. Let the child be a child, and having a child does not mean that the child's life is only play.
Learning and happiness are not in conflict with each other, a visionary parent will not be only the theory of achievement, to "succeed and lose" simple and rude evaluation of children, but will cultivate children's interest in learning, discover the child's strengths, will guide children to constantly improve themselves.
Parents have foresight, and the future path of children is broader.
04
Parents have principles and children have discipline
Parental love can be unconditional, but it must be principled.
In the "Yan Family Training", it is said that "the strictness of father and son cannot be foxy; the love of flesh and bones cannot be simple." Jane is kind and filial, and Fox is sluggish. ”
It is more important to teach children to be principled than to be unconditionally indulgent. Parents who do not have principles in educating their children or who repeatedly undermine principles despite having principles may cause many troubles in the future of the child.
To have principles is to follow the rules. The principle is that when children do wrong things, we must not indulge and break the existing rules because of love, but let the children realize their mistakes and patiently guide the children to correct them.
Only when parents have principles can they educate children with a strong sense of discipline and morality. If parents cannot adhere to the principle of parenthood, indulge their children, and do not let their children understand moral rules, the educated children will not have principles and will not have a sense of discipline.
The younger the child, the more the parents need to be rational and the more they need to stick to principles. In the face of children's bad behavior and unreasonable requirements, parents must use a resolute attitude to make their children clear the boundaries of behavior.
Many families have such a common disease, that is, although there are rules in the family, when the child cries and makes trouble with the parents, he loses his principle.
Many spoiled children have a common point, that is, their requirements can always be met, as long as they cry or even do not cry, parents will repeatedly and repeatedly reduce their requirements for their children, lower the bottom line, and lose the principle of parenthood.
If you want your child to follow the rules and talk about the rules, parents must first adhere to their own principles. When parents have formulated some rules for their children, they must strictly abide by the implementation and cannot easily break the rules.
In the process of educating children, parents must grasp the scale, neither lose love, but also adhere to their own principles.
Children are a mirror for parents. Children's education is not only to educate children, but also to educate parents. In daily life, children not only copy the behavior of their parents, but also copy the character, cultivation, principles, and patterns behind these behaviors.
Being a good parent should understand that the process of educating children is also a process of improving themselves, and it is more important to improve themselves and set an example for their children than to blindly ask their children to "become who".
Source: Northern Xinjiang family