In the process of dealing with feelings, what kind of way do you usually take for the matter of eating men?
Is it to pay special attention to their own external image, and use their appearance to eat each other?
Or do you pay at any cost and eat each other in a way that is good for him?
Or do you want to control the other person and eat the other person by eliminating all potential threat factors?
In fact, these methods may be useful, but they definitely do not play a big role.
First of all, the appearance value is very constrained by time, we can guarantee that the first one will surprise the other party, but if the other party is used to it, what should we do?
Secondly, paying at any cost will also make the other party feel moved at the beginning, but what should we do when the time is long, the other party adapts, and it is not surprising?
Finally, controlling each other's social and life can indeed eliminate some potential dangers, but if the other party feels repulsive and depressed, what should we do?
Therefore, although these methods will achieve results in a short period of time, they will not be a long-term mechanism.
Therefore, psychological research has shown that if you want to eat a man, you can achieve the threshold effect.
In emotional psychology, what is the threshold effect?
American psychologists Friedman and Freser once did such an experiment -
He randomly interviewed a group of housewives and then asked them to hang a small signboard on their window.
Since these signs are small in size and hanging on the windows do not affect the aesthetics and lighting, the housewives happily agreed.
After some time, psychologists found this group of housewives again
This time he asked for a not only large but not very beautiful signboard to be placed in the courtyard of the housewives, and this time more than half of the housewives agreed, compared to the first time.
The psychologist then randomly interviewed another group of housewives, who asked if they could put a large, unsightly sign in the courtyard.
As a result, about 80% of people expressed their reluctance, and even more directly refused.
The same are big and unsightly signs, why are there different results?
The reason is simple, one has a premise as a foundation, and the other is straightforward.
In psychology, when we first hear someone ask us a more difficult request, we usually refuse without hesitation;
And if the other party first proposes something that can be easily done, and we agree, when he again asks for a higher difficulty factor, we usually agree.
This is due to the fact that once an individual has accepted a trivial request from another, it is possible to accept a greater demand in order to give the impression that the other person is consistent before and after.
This is the threshold effect in psychology.
How do we use the threshold effect?
After knowing the basic principle of the threshold effect, how do we apply it?
The simplest way, in fact, is to get inching forward, step by step, first of all, we must learn to make demands, learn to trouble each other.
Carnegie said in "The Weakness of Human Nature": "If you want to make the friendship long-lasting, then you have to let others do a little thing for you, which will make others have a sense of presence and importance." 」 ”
Trouble and demands can make men satisfy their sense of existence, but also increase the amount of giving to women.
For example, if we want a package of 10,000 pieces, but we directly say that we ask for it, the probability of rejection is very high.
Therefore, we can first make a request to buy a thousand watches, and if the other party agrees, then after a while, we will make a request to buy a bag.
In this way, the odds of us being promised increase and the cost of men paying themselves increases.
As the cost increases, our position in each other's hearts is naturally important.
Women with high emotional intelligence have always guided men to pay for themselves
When we get along with men, we must remember that a person only knows how to cherish it if he pays.
The reason is very simple, just like when we play a game, one game is completed by us all night and racking our brains to complete the strategy, while the other game we play through the level with almost no effort.
Which of these two games will make us care more?
It must be the first, because it has the cost we pay for it, and if it is not, it means that everything is in vain.
Love is also like this, men pay the cost, will because of the fear of loss and care.
He will not be moved because women are not willing to let themselves spend money, women are not willing to let themselves pay, on the contrary, they will only feel that the relationship is cheap and not worth caring about because the cost is zero.
Maugham once said, "Money is like the sixth sense, and without money it is impossible to make full use of other senses." Don't take the importance of money lightly, sometimes, money is enough to test your love. ”
Therefore, women with high emotional intelligence understand the importance of guiding men to pay for themselves, and only when they pay can they know how to cherish.