There is a post on the Internet like this:
"What should Mother's Brother Demon do?"
”
The pastor claims to be a daughter, and she has a mother who is a "brother demon".
Mother and brother three, from a young age, the younger brother was loved by the grandmother, developed the bad habit of playing cards, did not work well, and still owed a bunch of debts outside, no money to use to go home to ask for money, grandma and grandfather are old, sighing all day.
The eldest aunt is a person who understands, she was sent to her grandparents' house from childhood, and did not return home to live until she was 16 years old, and she did not have much affection for her brother.
She will not sympathize with him, no matter if Grandma and Grandpa complain, she is firm, she feels that there is no need to care, adults should be responsible for themselves.
After a long time, Grandma had no choice but to pin her hopes on the mother of the Lord.
She and her aunt are completely different people, in the words of the lord, that is, a natural brother-in-law demon.
Because of the long-term life with grandma and grandpa, the brain has been accustomed to being humble to her brother, and grandma has been teaching her that sisters and brothers should help each other, this is family affection, that is, being brainwashed too deeply,
Mom was disgusted by her aunt's indifference, and she called many times to accuse her of being ruthless.
It really responded to that sentence:"
You laugh at others too crazy, others laugh at you can't see through. ”
No matter how the aunt explained, the mother of the pastor insisted,
You should not ignore your younger brother, because your brother is the hope of the family, the inheritor of the family name, and the heir of the incense.
In order to subsidize the younger brother, the owner's mother earns 2,000 yuan a month, and wants to take one thousand and five back to the mother's house, the name is to let the younger brother buy milk powder for the child, in fact, the money is taken by the younger brother to play cards, and the pastor's own family, even buy meat is not willing, eat porridge and steamed bread for many years.
In the impression of the paster, she ate steamed buns in elementary school, wore her cousin's old clothes, and the tuition fee was the last in the class. Even so, in order to save money, the mother tentatively consulted with her daughter:
"If you don't want to study, your grades won't be top-notch anyway."
The owner does not understand why his family is not even willing to buy vegetables, but his mother can spend more than a dozen yuan to buy lychees for his cousin
Once, the pastor was really angry and asked his mother, "Your cousin is your own child." ”
Mom beat her up and said, "
Nephews are similar to sons, and boys are incense sticks. ”
Finally, even the father of the pastor could not stand it, he proposed a divorce, but the mother of the pastor seemed to have no intention of reflecting, took her daughter to remarry, and continued to help her brother.
The stepfather was still very good to the pastor, when he was in high school, the stepfather gave 100 living expenses a week, which was not much money, but he could eat a full meal, just
The mother went too far and wanted to save money from her daughter's mouth, thinking that 80 a week was enough.
Mother has been opposed to her daughter's study, the reason is very strange, she believes that the daughter read more, but also to marry, it is better to go out early to work, you can also subsidize the family, but the attitude towards the nephew is different, the cousin did not enter high school,
Grandma asked the stepfather of the pastor to find a better private school, and wanted the child to continue to study.
But the uncle still does not take money, that is to say, the huge tuition fees of private schools need to be given by the parents of the pastor, more than ten thousand a year, the mother of the pastor is willing to eat, even so, the uncle often calls for money, once the phone was received by the owner, she did not have a good mood to scare the uncle:"
Can you please stop coming to my mother, are you a waste? Can't go to work on your own? ”
As a result, the uncle was righteous:
Your mom is willing to give me money. ”
In a word, it hurts to the liver
She did not understand that children know the truth of independence, why the mother should help the uncle again and again, but also let the other party develop the habit of asking, the nephew handed over to the sister to raise, the parents' pension let the sister be responsible, even their own life, but also hope that the sister can bear.
The reason for posting the main mother is:"
I can't bear to let my parents suffer, if you don't help your brother, your grandmother and grandfather will be dragged down, and then say that your nephew is innocent, and you can't let your nephew live worse than other children. ”
Perhaps it was this kind of connivance that made my uncle develop an attitude of fearlessness.
He never works, has money to eat outside, no money to go home to ask for money, anyway, grandma and grandpa have pensions, pensions are spent to ask the second sister to want, the lord's aunt has never been accustomed to it, when they meet the brother scolded, but the owner's mother can't bear it, always feel that it is not filial piety to let her parents suffer, she sends her own food to her mother's house, and then continues to be possessed by her brother.
Finally, the brother's laziness has a bad retribution, he did not pay back because he owed money for playing cards, he was cut off a finger, his expenses in the hospital, naturally or his sister took, he did not know to reflect on himself, but also made a big fuss, asked his parents to find someone to settle the account, and asked himself for a million to come back.
Grandma and Grandpa finally saw the truth and felt that this son was hopeless, and the stepfather of the lord could not stand it, and proposed a divorce
, the owner of the post stands on the side of the stepfather, feels that the stepfather's divorce is done right, only her mother is still obsessed, seeing that she can't come up with money, and even asks her daughter to take 200,000 for herself, of course, the pastor will not give, there is that sentence:
"If you give me 500,000, it should be grateful for my nurturing grace, and it is also an obligation to buy out the pension."
The pastor was really speechless, she didn't know how to face her mother, who had gone crazy in order to help her brother and nephew, but she didn't know
, his own bottomless help, has cultivated a small nibbling old family
。
Many netizens felt angry and advised the owner to break off the relationship with his mother, and there was really no need to take his own life.
Reading the experience of the pastor reminds me of a saying, poor people must have something to hate.
The mother looks very pitiful, the marriage has failed twice in a row, the daughter does not understand herself, and her life is a mess, but isn't all this her own doing?
If she is measured in her work, she should know that it is better to teach people to fish than to teach people to fish, and to teach her brother the skills to survive is the real help.
Grandma and Grandpa also look very pitiful, but their sad old age is not caused by their own hands? They are too patriarchal, thinking that boys are the most important people in the family, in fact, in the end, they know,
Coddling is like a harmful son, only strict requirements for the child, urging him to be self-reliant, is the love for the child.
In life, helping the brother demon is not a unique case, many women are not conscious at all, do not think that they are right to help their brother, this is the sad point of the matter.
Not knowing that you are making a mistake is the real mistake.
The new generation of educated women should have different consciousnesses, see the problem and reflect in time, they will not help their brother excessively, and they will jump out of the thinking of their parents to see the problem.
so
What if you have a brother-in-law mom?
First of all, communicate more with your mother
If you want to really help your brother, you need to be appropriately cruel, otherwise when your brother loses the ability to live independently, you are the culprit, you may not be able to explain it at once, but you can communicate many times, talk when you have time, and slowly change your mother's thinking.
Second, reduce contact with dependent relatives
Bring her mother to live in a foreign country, let her contact new friends and environment, and then let the friends around her change her thinking, so that she herself realizes that her own concept is wrong.
In addition, the thinking of fu di demons is related to the original family,
The ringer also needs to be tied to the bell, and the grandmother can persuade the mother to cut off the help to the younger brother, and the daughter can support the parents, but there is no obligation to help the younger brother.
As for the idea of incense, it is even more ridiculous, human genes are constantly optimized, this kind of people without viability should have been eliminated, what needs to be inherited.
Therefore, when encountering a mother who is confused, the daughter really does not need to get used to it, and slowly change the thinking of the other party, of course, the premise is that you are independent, when you are self-reliant and self-reliant, the mother will one day understand her mistakes.
Give it a thumbs up and go! Are there any people around you who help the devil?