In recent years, the concept of the original family has been frequently mentioned, but most of them are bad things, they feel hurt, character defects, lack of psychology and love, their shortcomings such as inferiority, irritability, encounter things can not be independently faced and solved, it seems that people have thrown the causes of these problems to the original family, most of them are parents in the original family.
We cannot deny that the influence of parents on a child is the first and most profound and lasting. But once you find that you have a bad shadow on yourself, it comes down to not being influenced by a good birth family, is this really a fact? Or to attribute all the negative effects to the original family, is this really fair to the members of the original family?
I did not dare to cause trouble since I was a child, even if others provoked me, I would be cowardly and did not dare to fight back, because from childhood, the poor parents in the family were honest and honest, and they taught us not to cause trouble outside, so I always suffered losses from childhood because of the education of my parents from childhood;
I have always been afraid of marriage, even if I meet someone who feels good, I dare not try to get along or fall in love, because I am afraid of meeting a father-like man, alcoholism, gambling, domestic violence;
I have low self-esteem, sensitivity, insecurity, and lack of opinion because my mother taught me to make money very hard and save money. When my parents were in a hurry, they always said to me: Look at you, how can you not do anything well.
We cannot deny the influence of the original family on us, because we did not have our own world outlook on life values from childhood, so most of the outlook on life, values, and world views at this time come from the education and indoctrination of our parents, and our parents are our first teachers, which have an extremely significant impact on our psychology, spirit, and so on, but after adulthood, all the shortcomings of ourselves are classified as the original family, and all the spearheads are pointed at the parents in the original family, is it really right?
Let's first look at the word original family, sociologists point out that the emergence of the original family once actually proves that society is progressing, and the relationship between the original family and the influence between each other have been valued. The original family refers to the family where the children are not yet married and still live with their parents, and the concept of the original family is the newborn family, and the newborn family refers to the family composed of both husband and wife. The family of origin is a concept, but in the process of being frequently mentioned by people has become a "derogatory term" Let's think about a few questions.
1: In the original family, we usually have brothers and sisters, growing up in the same parents and the same family environment, are each other's shortcomings the same, have they not been able to jump out of the influence of the original family when they grow up, and are their personalities different?
2: We attribute our shortcomings to the improper education of our parents, so in the age of our parents, did they have the energy and time and conditions to think about a better education for ourselves, and whether we are perfect in the education of our children at present, are they all positive and correct influences?
3: We are well aware that the negative impact of the original family on us is deeply rooted, and whether we really try to give ourselves the right guidance and correction after complaining.
4: No one is perfect, from today's times to see whether the concepts and ways of people in the past era are really equal, if our children, when they grow up, they attribute all their shortcomings to our influence
5: Why mention the influence of the original family, thinking of the negative impact of the original family on us, then the advantages of our body, the shining point is also more or less affected by the original family, why not mention it?
The original family is a concept, which itself is a benign thinking and development of family relations and social relations, not a reason for us to complain and accuse, nor a veil for us to become better ourselves.
We give the original family terrible, hurtful, negative and so on. But is that really all that the family of origin brings us?
There are people in this world who are trapped in the negative influence of their original families and cannot extricate themselves, and even feel that they can no longer see the sunshine in their eyes after being hurt by some harm. But we also don't deny that there are really people who jump out of the negative influence of their original families, this group of people is very few, but they remind themselves not to be that kind of person after seeing the shortcomings of others, and they remind themselves not to cause that kind of harm to others after some trauma. The students of this world who enter institutions of higher learning, the masters who become the best in the workplace, and the people who are always strong and optimistic and sunny are not all positively affected in the original family, but the reason why this type of person can become a better self is because of the correct view of the influence of the original family and the relationship between self-growth.
I know it's hard to pull out those growing thorns, but the accompanying pain does last longer without pulling them off. I hope that each of us can correctly view the impact of the original family, and I hope that we understand that it is extremely unfair for them to judge the parents' past education methods and methods in today's extremely progressive era. The original family should bring us more benign thinking and change.
We can't choose where we come from, we can't change the established facts that have happened, everyone has suffered such and such hurts and blows, but only by looking forward and moving forward can we meet a better self.
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