How can a woman know if and how important she is in a man's heart? First of all, you have to know, what does it mean to be "important"? For example, I don't want to hurt you, I am afraid of losing you.
We must learn to look at some real efforts, and judge from the details and choices when we really encounter things.
For example, if you fail to answer his call in time, he will always be angry and reprimanded because you can't answer the phone in time, or care about why you don't answer the phone or whether you are in trouble.
Don't look at how good he is to you when he's in a good mood, or always rely on some cheap giving, but affirm that he is important in his heart.
The biggest difference between like and love, the former is appreciation, the latter is tolerance and change.
True love is when you are cute, he loves you, and when you are no longer as cute as before, he can still explore your cuteness through tolerance and is willing to make changes for you. For the sake of your happiness, for the sake of your future, do something that requires you to change.
Look at the four points, indicating that you are in his heart, very important!
1. Rank first.
Put you in the first place in life, but not necessarily around you every day, eager to tie you, eager to stick to you, but when you encounter trouble, you can put your safety first, even if he has more important things, it is not as important as you, will be temporarily put down because of you.
When you are most depressed and depressed, the man knows that you need him the most at this time, and can also send your needs, comfort you, encourage you, and accompany you.
The needs He sends you are real, not perfunctory.
For example, when he is eating with friends, drinking and having fun, he will only care about you perfunctorily through the phone, if he can't comfort you well, he will immediately start to reprimand you for being pretentious and ignorant, complaining about you, and it is difficult for him to come out to relax once, and as a result, you still have so many things.
You are important, which also means that he will have a strong psychological desire to approach you, and cannot do hot and cold, near and far, or can never respond to your initiative enthusiastically.
2, there is pity.
Because you are important, you can take into account your feelings, you can take care of your feelings, you can feel your feelings, and then avoid hurting you. Instead of knowing that it will hurt you, but also to hurt you, such as getting along with the opposite sex without a sense of boundaries, and in the end accusing you of being unreasonable.
Can put your feelings first, do not care about their own face, do not care about right or wrong, if you always want to fight with you to win or lose, then the importance is obvious.
Maugham said:
"If you think about self-esteem in love, there's only one reason: you actually still love yourself the most."
He loves you, but he doesn't love you that much, you're important, but not that important. Including when quarrelling, I like the Cold War at every turn, never take the initiative to bow my head, submit to softness and compromise, it does not matter how long the Cold War lasts, I must achieve my goal.
Cold violence is spiritual torture and abuse in nature, and people who really love you will definitely feel sorry for you, so they can't bear to do this to you again.
3, want to be long-term.
The more important you are, the more he wants to have a long-term future with you. In his planning for the future, there must be your existence, and you can work harder in the present for the future of the two of you, just want to create a beautiful future for the two of you through your own efforts.
At the same time, for the development of feelings, what needs him to do, he will definitely do, what needs him to change, he will definitely change.
This means that you can do everything that needs to be done for your happiness, for your future, and for your feelings. Changes, including changes in temperament and personality, changes in lifestyle habits.
He can also manage his own desires and restrain his instincts for your sake, just so that you can last a long time.
If he never has a plan for the future and will only ask you to change, you will at best love him, and he will let and accept your love.
4. Sense of crisis.
Because you are important, he is so afraid of losing you, and even he does not dare to think about it if he loses you. There will be a particularly strong sense of crisis, treating you as your own private property, never allowing anyone to touch it, and it is easy to be jealous, which is the performance of caring about you.
There is a point to distinguish here, such as when you are slightly closer to the other sex, whether he is angry or jealous.
If it is anger, most of them only consider the man's face, and only jealousy cares about your performance.
In addition, there is a sense of crisis, which also means that in the process of getting along, he cherishes you very much, knows and loves you, and always has a grateful heart.
There is no sense of crisis, it is always very indifferent to your performance, and as a result, you still listen to what he says, you are very important, that can only mean that you are willing to be deceived by him.
Possessiveness is not necessarily love, but love must be possessive, and in the case of a sense of crisis, people must do something special for the sake of a sense of crisis.
In fact, in the matter of whether it is important or not, it is enough to ask yourself whether you can find two feelings in him or in this relationship: a sense of security and a sense of belonging. When you start asking people, it's already the answer, and you don't feel it before you doubt it.
He regards you as very important, which will make your heart maintain a special kind of certainty, will not doubt at all, doubt is not love, doubt is not important.
So what you need, and not the answer, is just to give yourself a reason to fool yourself. Even if you run away from the facts, even if you find the answer, you don't want to believe that it is the answer, that is the truth.
What is security? You're sure the other person values you, and you're sure he's not going to leave you or betray you. The sense of belonging is to be sure that you will not leave and will always be able to get a sense of belonging in this relationship.
--END--