In this world, the deepest and unrequited love should come from the love of parents. In order to make the child more excellent, parents have no regrets about paying, eager to give them all the time and love. But the final result surprised the parents.
The harder you work to educate and accompany your heart, the more likely your child is to have problems, so why should parents feel bad? Looking at children who are not very educated and accompanied, they are more excellent and outstanding. And the parent-child relationship of the latter seems to be more harmonious.
Story Case:
Sasa and Yuyo are cousins, but their personalities and behaviors are vastly different. Zosa is "someone else's child", his parents are usually busy with work, most of the time he is independent; Youyou's mother is not at ease, choose to take the baby full-time, but the child's performance in every aspect seems to be somewhat unsatisfactory.
Later, after chatting with Sazo's mother, I realized that my education direction was wrong at the beginning. I always feel that children are too young, trying to arrange their lives for them, but they have ruined their hands-on ability and thinking ability. Sasso's mother is just the opposite, although she is usually busy at work, she pays attention to cultivating her own abilities.
Hearing this, Yu yu's mother finally found out the problem and realized her own educational error. Many times, the more you pay attention to your children, the harder you discipline them, the easier it is to induce rebellious thoughts in their hearts. Although the child is small, he also longs for freedom in his heart and longs to be his own person.
Case Study:
In the end, children who are overprotected by their parents are like flowers in a greenhouse, they can never see the wind and rain outside, and naturally they cannot withstand more wind and rain. Under the protection of parents, children will grow up healthy for the time being and will develop in the direction expected by their parents.
But if you leave the protection of your parents one day, this group of children will appear particularly vulnerable and have no direction in life at all. Coupled with the protection of their parents before, their abilities are particularly poor, which is the most worrying place. Imagine this: if a child does not even have the basic ability to be independent, how can he live in the future society?
I don't deny that the parents' original intentions are good, but they are too strong, and some of them love their children. Many times, excessive protection will only limit children's thoughts and behaviors, so that they become "puppets" in the hands of adults, which is the most failed way of education.
Moreover, most of the children who are protected and arranged to grow up by their parents do not have a sense of responsibility and responsibility. If something is bad, they will habitually shirk it, feeling that it is the responsibility of their parents or the fault of others. Never look for reasons from themselves, so the probability of future success is almost zero.
Smart parents never try to educate, but mainly cultivate habits
The child's daily performance clearly reflects the problems in the parents' education. Therefore, the focus at the moment must first start from adjusting the mentality and education methods, so as to change the status quo of children, let them step out of the comfort zone, and become a "hero" who has the ability to be independent.
1, do your own thing, do it yourself
From childhood to adulthood, parents must understand a truth: children are independent individuals, and they need to master basic survival skills in order to survive in the big dye vat of society. Let the children do their own things, and parents should not help them deal with them.
Even if the child does not do well in the end, parents should not rush to help them clean up, but point out the good and wrong places. Where you do a good job, you naturally have to give praise without stinginess; where you do not do well, you naturally give language guidance first, so that the child can correct it alone.
2. Formulate rules and reward and punish them with a degree
Children who abide by the rules, they rarely do things that violate the bottom line or principles, not only better protect themselves, but also reduce a lot of unnecessary troubles for the path of life, which is a good thing for parents and themselves. So start small and help your child make rules and follow them to do things.
Be willing to punish children, especially if they have done serious wrong things and have not changed them many times. The more tolerant the parents are, the more likely the child is to make mistakes, but to challenge the bottom line of adults again and again. It is better to give him the appropriate punishment directly, so that he knows that he has done something wrong and needs to pay the price he deserves.
3, do not label, respect the child
If you want to make the education of hard work meaningful and achieve the desired educational effect, parents should learn to respect, which is the minimum way to get along. At any time, do not label your child as negative to avoid causing labeling effects.
In fact, children who are respected by their parents especially know how to be grateful, and they know that their parents are not easy. Therefore, in life and study, on the contrary, they will work harder, and they want to prove themselves and give better feedback to their parents.
Write at the end: there is nothing wrong with educating children, but don't make a mistake in the general direction, otherwise the consequences will eventually be borne by the children themselves. By the way, try to be an equal with your child, rather than coddling and indulging.