Do you often feel energetic and tired?
Do you get so anxious about your child all night that you can't sleep?
Will you be inexplicably irritable and can't help but get angry at your child?
Work, take care of children, do housework... There are always things that can't be done every day, and fatigue is eroding our lives all the time, which seems to have become the norm for contemporary parents.
But in fact, a person's fatigue and how many things are done at the moment are really not directly related.
How to get away from this low-stress mood and get out of the anxiety zone? What should parents do if they want to maintain an optimistic and positive attitude to life?
Parents read the following 3 points, they understand.
1. Happiness is self-seeking
Unhappiness is also self-inflicted
I've heard a story like this:
The two Xiucai went to take the imperial examination together, but they did not expect to encounter the funeral team just on the road.
A Xiucai felt very obscure, his heart has been sullen, the result of the exam did not play well, the name fell Sun Shan, when he came back, he said: As soon as he saw the coffin, he knew that there was no good thing.
Another show saw the coffin but secretly rejoiced, thinking that the "coffin" should be a good sign. Sure enough, when he went to the examination room, he was refreshed, his thoughts were gushing, and he became famous in one fell swoop, and he was promoted to an official and became rich.
Why is the same coffin, but the foreshadowing of two people is completely different?
As the 18th-century German philosopher Schopenhauer said, "People are not influenced by things, but by their perceptions of things." ”
In the final analysis, the coffin is just a sign that the coffin is a very ordinary item, it can neither indicate bad luck nor signs of promotion and wealth.
These two talents are not influenced by the coffin, but by their perception of the coffin.
Sultan, a famous teacher of Xingzhi, once asked parents what advantages and disadvantages their children had during a live broadcast.
Comments quickly brushed up, and most parents blurted out their children's shortcomings, but it was difficult to say the child's strengths.
I would like to ask the parents who are watching, do you really think about it, when talking about children, do you talk about the advantages or disadvantages the most? Does your child really have no merit?
I think it is not that children do not have merits, but that parents are blinded by the anxiety in front of them.
I always like to complain about the unsatisfactory life, the rebellion of the children, and the incomprehension of the husband.
But in fact, happiness is self-seeking, and unhappiness is also self-seeking.
Good parents will be their children's "fans", but most parents have become their children's "bad evaluators".
There are many things in the world, and it doesn't matter whether they are good or bad, it all depends on how you look at it.
When we face unhappiness, we must learn to change our mentality and maintain an optimistic and open-minded state of mind, so as to avoid self-seeking troubles.
2. Strong twisted melon
Must not be too sweet
The New York Times reported: "In China's big cities, on Saturdays and Sundays, if a child walking on the street does not carry a violin, he is on his way to learn the piano." ”
Although this statement is a bit exaggerated, it tells the current situation of education: whether the child wants to like it or not, whether he likes it or not, parents always want their children to learn something.
Parents are either trying to force themselves or their children. But some things really don't work out of between.
A child doesn't want to do something, probably because:
1. Can't do it, lack of relevant knowledge, don't know what to do;
2. Know how to do it, but are afraid of not doing it well, lack of skills to do things;
3. Simply unwilling to do, disliked or want to do other things.
If parents only start from their own wishes, then "ignore" the difficulties and needs faced by their children.
In this case, just like the truth of "a twisted melon, it must not be too sweet", the child is reluctant to do it hard, and the results obtained are not satisfactory.
The most suitable way of education for children is the best way of education.
3. If nothing else
Your children will eventually be ordinary
At the two sessions last year, Yuan Yaxiang, a member of the National Committee of the Chinese People's Political Consultative Conference and an academician of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, said that the Olympic number is not suitable for a wide range of children to study, and it is not recommended that ordinary children learn the Olympic number.
This view has subsequently triggered a "crusade" among many parents, after all, no parent is really willing to admit that their children are ordinary people.
What do you say the most when educating children?
Is it "I hope you have to study well, otherwise you won't grow up"? Or "You should listen to me, your parents won't harm you"? Or "You see who does that well, why don't you follow along"?
Anyway, the implication of the words is "If you don't study well, I won't love you, and you won't be able to live your life well in the future." "Always put the kids in an environment of comparison and high expectations.
Over the years, education seems to have struggled to get rid of the label of "score theory", so that in the eyes of many parents, scores and grades are the only indicators of success.
Education is essentially to give the child a good insurance - to ensure that the child has a good education, rather than "buying the lottery ticket, hoping to win the lottery", raising a child, hoping that he will succeed like Ma Yun.
I have always felt that "ordinary" is not a derogatory term, and learning to accept the truest appearance of children is also a compulsory course for becoming a good parent.
The 3 points summarized are the "card points" that parents will encounter in their daily lives, hoping to give you some new thinking and dry goods that are anxious and confused.