For the sake of his career, Gu Xin dumped his girlfriend who had been good with him for 5 years and turned to the only daughter of the director, Ge Yue. Although Ge Yue is a rich family, she is a silly white sweet.
She was too well protected by her parents, did not understand the world at all, could not see Gu Xin's ulterior motives, and felt that Gu Xin was truly in love with her.
Not long after the two married, the bureau chief fell down and caught up with Ge Yue's pregnancy. Gu Xin not only broke off the connection with his ex-girlfriend, but also allowed his mother to bully Ge Yue.
Ge Yue ran back to her mother's house in a fit of rage and complained to her parents. Her mother immediately told her not to go back and live at home.
But the director's father said that this can't be the case, we always have to go one day, we must let her learn to protect herself.
Before, they had protected Ge Yue too well, too thoroughly, and did not let her see the dangers of this world. Fortunately, it was still too late to teach, so I began to support my daughter, after all, I could become the director of the bureau, which one was not a person who had cultivated into a refined spirit.
01. Whether others are good or bad to you, you can get by
Ge Yue's mother-in-law is a powerful and greedy little citizen, and when Ge Yue's father was still the director, although she was not satisfied with Ge Yue, she only threw a face.
Now, Ge Yue's father has fallen, and Ge Yue's mother-in-law has begun to suppress her without scruples, even her parents, even if she is still pregnant with a child.
First asked them to come back to live with their parents, and then, because Ge Yue bought a soft mattress for 5300 yuan, he began to satirize her. It's not a rich family anymore, so don't play the score.
For the Ge family to ask the nanny to cook, it is also a criticism, saying that Ge Yue's mother is too lazy to even cook a meal, and also regards herself as Mrs. Kuo.
Even if he said that he was not enough, even his mother was counted down by his mother-in-law, and ge Yue was angry even if he was sensible and tolerant. Not to mention that she is still pregnant with a child, and her emotions are originally fluctuating.
Ge Yue gambled and returned to her mother's house, and the director's father told her that she could not rely on her parents all the time, and they could not accompany her for a lifetime.
Then, tell her: Others are good to you, you can get by, others are not good for you, you can also get by, this is called skill.
Ge Yue is a very perceptive person, she listened to her father's words and decided to solve the contradiction with her mother-in-law herself.
She carried a jar of Eight Treasures Spicy Vegetables back to her in-laws' house, and when she entered the door, she first called out sweetly to her mother, as if no contradiction had happened just now.
He said that his mother had made it by hand and asked her to bring it to her mother-in-law to taste.
The mother-in-law began to be sarcastic again, I don't believe it, your mother will still cook?
So Ge Yue taught her father, no matter what her mother-in-law said, she smiled, took a deep breath, and turned the page.
Ge Yue still smiled and said, "My mother actually has a sauce duck, next time I will bring you here to taste!" "In the past, the mother-in-law wanted to say something ugly, and she should also stop.
Ge Yue began to use the second trick taught by her father: wear a thousand clothes, do not wear horse ass, whether she likes you or not, the horse ass is strong and solid to shoot, she can't take you.
She said: "My mother also said that I am too lazy, while learning a few more dishes around you, I can do half of yours is amazing!" ”
The mother-in-law was really useful, and told her not to forget to help her thank Ge Yue's mother.
Ge Yue's set of processes was operated down, and sure enough, the relationship with her mother-in-law was not so sharp to Mai Mang. However, Ge Yue was still very depressed in her heart, because her words were insincerely flattering and catering to the preferences of others.
Since she was a child, she has been held in the palm of her hand, where has she suffered such a great grievance?
However, people have to adapt to the environment, her father is not the director, she is not the director of the gold. She has to learn to face the changing environment and everything that brings her.
The initial change must have been very uncomfortable, but only change can make you grow. Sometimes, the price of growth is to start saying something insincere.
When you meet words that you don't like to hear, you laugh at them and don't go to your heart. Originally there was nothing, where to stir up dust!
When you meet people you don't like, there is no intersection without intersection, you really can't hide, and you must learn to turn a blind eye!
Others are good to you, you have to be grateful, others are not good to you, you can also understand, learn to laugh at it, do not go to the heart.
As long as you want to understand, what others do to you, that is someone else's business, you don't care is your own business, there is nothing that can't go!
I think in addition to this skill, there are two other skills are also very important, and then share.
02. Expectations are reduced
Knowing how to lower your expectations is also a great skill.
The so-called reduction of expectation value is what we often call contentment and happiness.
Feng Xiaoqin in "Heart Residence" is a person with high expectations, and she hopes to take root in Shanghai. Married to the local Gu Lei, but began to look forward to her husband Jackie Chan and Wangzi Jackie Chan, forcing her husband to take the financial and accounting certificate, forcing him to borrow money to buy a school district house.
Therefore, her husband was forced by her to have no way, and he asked the eldest sister to intercede with her, and as a result, the contradiction intensified. During the quarrel, Feng Xiaoqin accidentally pushed Gu Lei down the stairs, resulting in death.
Feng Xiaoqin suddenly became nothing, and not only could not buy the house, but even her husband was gone.
If she can lower her expectations, she will no longer have to force her husband to borrow money to buy a house and force him to change jobs.
Maybe the contradiction will not intensify, and the husband will not die.
Feng Tang said: "If you have an expectation that lingers for many years and needs to be met by others, this expectation is delusion. ”
Feng Xiaoqin wants to buy a house, but she has no money and needs to borrow from others, that is, she needs others to meet, so her expectation is delusional.
Once expectations become delusional, people will suffer easily, unsatisfied suffering.
Therefore, when your expectations have become delusional, you must reduce your expectations in time.
Some people say: Lower expectations, all encounters are gifts.
Therefore, learning to lower expectations appropriately is also a skill. It's also the ability to make yourself happier.
In this life, no matter what we pursue, the final result we want is not to make ourselves happy?
03. Allow everything to happen
Actor Wu Yue once said in an interview: "
I recently discovered a particularly powerful phrase that allows everything to happen.
Whether you allow it or not, some things just happen, and when we allow everything to happen, it becomes soft, relaxed, and others will be willing to come closer! ”
Allow everything to happen, good or bad. We accept it all, with a soft heart, with a soft heart.
Allowing everything to happen is not only a skill, but also a wisdom.
Many things in this world will not be changed by the willpower of a certain person. For example, birth, old age, illness and death are irresistible natural laws, and spring, summer, autumn and winter are the cycles of the four seasons.
Whether you like it or not, whether you accept it or not, they just exist and run.
Once, Yang Lan asked her during an interview with Yin Tao: "Do you have age anxiety?" ”
Yin Tao said: "There is no total absence, but I accept the fact that after reaching a certain age, if you keep staring at the heroine, it will definitely be less and less." ”
Therefore, allowing yourself to age, allowing yourself to play roles other than the heroine, in order to make yourself more powerful.
In other words, accepting reality.
Ge Yueben is the daughter of the bureau chief, her father fell, and the family's life went from heaven to earth. The changes in the family have made the mother-in-law, who was already unpleasant to see her, even more sneering at her.
Her mentality was good, she did not complain about her father, nor did she resent her mother-in-law, but allowed everything to happen.
Allow daddy to be imperfect, allow daddy to make mistakes, allow mother-in-law not to like herself, allow mother-in-law's meanness, so that she can face all this with special strength.
Because she knows, even if she doesn't allow it, what's the use? It is better to calm down and accept it gladly.
Allowing everything to happen is really a particularly powerful sentence.
When we are crawling in the mud pit of life, allowing everything to happen is the best tempering of our minds.
Allow yourself to have things you can't do, allow your husband to earn less, allow your children to be imperfect, allow others not to like you.
When you allow everything to happen, you can calmly accept all the people and things around you, and even in the face of adversity, you still have the strength to do what you have to do.
The German psychotherapist Hellinger said: "I allow anything to happen, I allow, things are so beginning, so developed, so ended, because I know that all things come from cause and effect, and everything that happens is inevitable." ”
So, remember this: allow everything to happen. Let it bring you infinite power.
04.
People live in this world, good and bad things will be encountered, and people who like them and hate will also meet.
When others are good to us, we should be full of joy and gratitude; when others are not good to us, we must also accept the reality and learn to laugh.
When our expectations are far beyond our ability and become delusional, remember to lower our expectations. Sometimes, if you let yourself go properly, you can be less anxious and go further.
Allow yourself to do things you can't do, allow others not to like yourself, allow everything to happen, good and bad. In this way, we can have a heart and a powerful soul to taste the sweet and sour of the world!