The unspoken rule of socialization: a request that is not answered is a rejection

I don't know if you have found that the more we grow up, the more people we know, the richer the social experience, the more serious the social difficulties, and the more we do not know how to socialize.

The most immediate result is that although everyone knows that socialization is essential, they do not understand it.

First of all, let's talk about a common sense that everyone agrees: people are social animals, and they will restrain negative emotions in interpersonal interactions.

Starting from this common sense, the negative emotions of others are actually far greater than what you feel.

In other words, if you feel that other people's impatience with you is 1, the real level should be 10.

The same goes for other emotions.

A request that is not answered is a rejection.

It's like a classmate of mine who borrows money from his friend to sell his house. After my classmate sent it on WeChat, his friend ignored him.

Later, my classmate thought that the other party did not receive it, and then called, sent WeChat, chased and asked three times, and the other party did not respond.

After he told me the story, I said, "If there is no answer, isn't that the answer in itself?"

Don't be too proud when others praise you, life is generally conserved, as many people praise you, as many people scold you, or line up to see your jokes.

Therefore, others praise you for not being proud, and you don't know when you will fall.

At the same time, don't care too much when others laugh at you, the best response to them is your results.

Also, remember my saying: Awesome people always have mixed reputations.

Don't ask low-level, simple questions.

If someone keeps asking you particularly simple questions, that person may have three kinds of questions:

First, it is particularly lazy, and Baidu is reluctant to check;

Second, there is no brain, some questions are really well thought out, you can get the answer;

The third is not to cherish other people's time, not to make efforts, and only to trouble others.

Many times, it is not that others do not like to take care of you, but that you ask neither nutrition nor knowledge preparation in advance, which is also an offense to others.

No one likes to listen to criticism, and if he says he likes it, then he lies.

Among them, the criticism of the physical, personal, family, work value, and spiritual level of others is a criticism that hits the core.

If it is not deliberately exhausted, it is better not to say it blindly.

Be sincere in dealing with people, because sincerity itself can solve many problems.

Lying can absolutely destroy all good feelings.

It is highly recommended to abandon useless socializing, you can't, it is useless to know anyone.

Someone once said to the writer Li Shanglong: "I have participated in a lot of social networking and many friends, but until today, many things have not been helped by me, and I am very sad." ”

Li Shanglong asked her: "In the social arena, how do others generally introduce you?" She said, "My friend, Xiao Bai." ”

Li Shanglong said: "How do you generally introduce those excellent people? She said: "Independent writers, anchors, directors, professors..."

So, if you're not strong on your own, a lot of socializing is actually of little use.

If you can't create value or potential value for others, and others know that you want to find opportunities in others, why should they know you?

Struggling to maintain relationships is ultimately laborious and unflattering.

In the past, someone added a certain leader to a certain alumni group, and since then, he has become a weather forecaster every day, and he has asked the leader for warmth every day, reminded him to add clothes when it is cold, and brought an umbrella when it rains...

Later, the leader directly deleted this person, and a certain dinner party mentioned this person without contempt: young people have the energy to do something serious, do not always want to take a crooked path.

So, remember my words: lick the dog to the end, often with nothing.

Stay in a combutionable state and you'll be comfortable.

What is an irritating state?

It is when others touch your bottom line, or make you uncomfortable, you have to express it, or fight back.

I once saw an example of an alcoholic dad who scolded his mom every time he got drunk, and mom kept silently enduring it until the family's eldest son grew up and the problem stopped.

Many people think that there is a problem with dad. But in fact, the mother also has problems, silently endure for more than ten years, if at the beginning, find an opportunity to resist or divorce, may not endure such a long period of domestic violence.

So a lot of times, you don't have to endure all the time, protest when it's time to protest, and fight back when it's time to fight back.

If others know that you are not good at bullying, they will naturally not bully you.

In the social community, we should try to achieve balance as much as possible, and do not deliberately snub anyone, because there are really people who are very fragile and sensitive in their hearts, and we still have to take care of the emotions of others.

After all, socializing is to strengthen interpersonal relationships, there is no need to offend people because of small negligence.

You don't really have to mind the stranger's eyes too much, because no one knows anyone anyway, and after 3 minutes, no one will feel embarrassed except yourself.

People of any personality are worth associating with.

Some people like those who are outgoing and self-familiar, but the space of people's hearts is limited, and the emotions will not last too long for people who are very enthusiastic and familiar with everyone.

On the contrary, those who have a hard time getting into their hearts and seem to be introverted, friendships are easier to last.

Losing a relationship is a normal thing, especially since the faster you grow, the easier it is for you to break out of your old relationship.

I've always believed that the best relationship should be constructive, which means that two people have basically the same values and codes of conduct, that they are more comfortable together, and that they can supervise each other to grow.

The pace of the two sides should be consistent overall.

If one side is always ahead of the other, then whether it is ahead or behind, it will feel particularly tired.

Whether it is from the perspective of values, social status, or common topics, the intersection of the two will be less and less, and it will become more and more difficult to communicate.

From this point of view, don't try to salvage a failed relationship, because there will always be people who will fall behind because they can't keep up with you.