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When people get along with each other, they should really change their hearts, and only in this way will they have good interpersonal relationships. However, there are people, who are very hypocritical, who get along with you in the guise of kindness and cheat on your feelings. Hidden killer skills for you.
This is the wrong social relationship, not only is there no benefit, but it will also bring you danger, and you must stay away when you meet it. Relationships are important, but not all relationships are good for you.
When choosing interpersonal relationships, we must choose the best and walk with our sincere talents on the road of life; if there is hypocritical kindness in the relationship, then break off the relationship as soon as possible! It is the greatest guarantee of your own safety.
Adults, it's best to stay away from these four wrong ways of socializing.
01, humorous to you, in fact, it is bitter and mean
Classmate Xiaoyu married a phoenix girl, whose wife is not only beautiful but also has the ability to work, but also has a master's degree and earns a lot. One person's salary is enough for a family's living expenses. Therefore, Xiaoyu takes care of the chores at home and takes care of the children, while the wife earns money to support the family.
Xiao Yu is particularly blessed, many of the friends who know Xiao Yu are paying off mortgages and car loans, so they are very jealous of him, and even speak, sometimes with a ridiculous tone.
At a college reunion, the male classmates in the class all ironically ridiculed Xiaoyu, saying that he ate soft rice, said that he was incompetent, and said that he was raised by women...
In this regard, Xiao Yu expressed emotional embarrassment, forced to smile and finished eating, and left in a hurry. Because he knew that they were playing a gang of ridicule, and they were all jealous that he had married a wife who could make money.
In fact, jokes and sarcasm are not the same, and jokes sound comfortable. And the language of irony, no matter how you explain it, will have an awkward feeling in your heart.
When you are sarcastic, your language may only be a few simple words, but in the hearts of others, it is like a torrential rain, muddy.
True humor is based on care, not poking at other people's pain points and pouring salt on other people's wounds. Treating vitriol as humor will only make you feel wronged.
True friends will not be sarcastic about you, but will be happy because you are happy; only those who are jealous of you behind your back will speak harshly to you. Such people are not true friends and it is better to stay away.
02, naïve and blunt to you, in fact, there is no cover
We often hear some people say this, my expression is naïve and blunt, I have no heart and eyes, you don't take it seriously. In fact, they are not naïve and straightforward, but they have no one else in mind.
Writer Li Shanglong has a good friend, and they have a good relationship, so when Li Shanglong finished a script, he showed his first draft to this friend and asked him to comment.
However, after reading it, this friend demeaned Li Shanglong's work to nothing. Li Shanglong's heart was very uncomfortable. Although this friend has a good personality, he is also difficult to accept because his speech is too blunt, and he and Li Shanglong are eventually estranged.
The unobstructed mouth of a person is a malady of a language, and even the best friends cannot stand your unadorned, angular and sharp language. Although he had only a few words, he would hurt people's hearts like a sword.
In dealing with people, we must consider the feelings of others and speak, do not hurt people with a sword, and do not cover your mouth. Because this will prevent your relationship from entering an awkward situation.
Treat people with a soft tone, you will have more good friends.
03, warm-hearted for you, in fact, refers to the hand
I've always hated people who point fingers at other people's things, who seem to be warm-hearted, but they will cause others to resent.
For example: you bought a dress, think it is beautiful to wear, but someone told you that it is expensive to buy, my friend only buys half the price; at work, you want to go out to travel, but some people say that travel is a waste of money, it is better to buy more things to eat at home; you have found a job, but someone tells you that this job is tired and dirty, it is better ...
Sometimes, what we do may not be within the scope of our own cognitive domain, and some people will judge us and point fingers at us. They think it's warm-hearted, but they're adding to it without understanding the situation of others.
You don't wear other people's shoes, you never know how other people's paths are going. Don't judge other people's lives without understanding them; don't interfere without understanding other people's choices. Excessive care will violate the defense line of other people's private interests, make people resist in their hearts, and make each other's feelings more and more distant.
Therefore, putting away excessive enthusiasm and leaving gaps in each other's relationship space will allow the sunshine of friendship to shine through the gaps in feelings, moisturize each other's feelings, and balance each other's differences.
04, the affinity for you, in fact, is self-cooked
People in the jianghu, will meet a lot of all kinds of people, one of them, born with you acquaintance, as if it is a long-lost relative with you, when they meet each other, they are very affinity with everyone. But in fact, this is not affinity, but a look of losing a sense of proportion.
People with real affinity are measured in their interactions with each other, and they can make people unguarded and make people feel comfortable with each other. Let the friendship be able to breathe and breathe, so that people's hearts are not mustard.
The reason why we become friends is that we camp step by step emotionally, and finally there will be a real friendship that treats each other with sincerity. If you meet for the first time, you are overzealous, it will inevitably give people a feeling of insecurity, will make people wary of you, and it is difficult to get along happily.
It takes a little enthusiasm to meet someone for the first time, so that you can have the opportunity to have a deeper contact and let the friendship between two people further develop.
epilogue:
Interpersonal relationships, the emphasis is on getting along comfortably, which determines whether the friendship between you can reach a higher level. The smarter you are, the more people will like you, and therefore the more friends they will have.
People's life, three ups and three downs is not easy, may we both be able to glimpse each other's heart is not easy, can have a light in each other's emotional world, do not interfere with each other's difficulty, but also can give people a comfortable feeling.
Grasp the balance of mutual interaction, and let the fountain of feelings flow for a long time.