01
In a variety show, cross-talk actor Guo Qilin said: "Why do they always bother us? None of us want to bother them. ”
It is true that in the human society, a large number of people do not want to socialize, but in order to survive, they have to squeeze into the social circle, squeeze out a smile, and say words that are not painful or itchy.
When asking people to do things, you will know that "not looking at the monk's face to see the Buddha's face" is really important.
Learn to trouble others, but grasping the scale is very important.
The following 8 social unspoken rules, no one explicitly says, but you have to understand.
02
First, people who are not particularly familiar with each other, it is best to "not visit each other".
Twenty years ago, when you went to visit the door, the seven aunts and eight aunts welcomed you very much, even ordinary fellows, they were very kind to you, and everyone had endless topics to talk about.
Now, when you go to the door, it's mostly like this: people sitting on the couch, no one talking, looking down at their phones, pretending to be busy.
If you don't make an appointment in advance, you haven't walked to the home of your relatives and friends, you will be stopped by the doorman of the community, and you have to report the door number and say the names of your relatives and friends before you can enter.
Perhaps, you knocked on the door many times, and no one opened the door. Eating a "closed door soup" makes you feel uncomfortable.
The most incomprehensible thing is that you call the other party and say that you will go to visit the door at some time, and the other party immediately rejects you, saying that he is not at home recently, can not entertain, and will reunite another day.
What day is "another day"? Mostly "there is no such day".
Talk about business in the unit, chat in the tea house for private affairs, chat in the park without idle work, it is best to go home to talk less, and maintain the sense of boundaries that should be.
03
Second, others help you, do not use "please" to repay.
Nowadays, everyone is busy. If you get help from someone else, say thank you, or send a small red envelope or a small gift, but don't easily invite the other person to dinner.
A friend of mine, in order to make his children enjoy better educational resources, he cheekily changed the principal to a class.
When the matter was done, he issued three consecutive invitations for the principal to be sure to appreciate his face and have a meal at the best local restaurant. But the principal refused, one is that the work is particularly busy, the second is that the meal is too eye-catching, and it is not a good thing to be seen, and the third is that the principal does not like to be lively and is upright.
More and more people, seeing through the nature of eating and drinking, think that this is useless social interaction. If you really want to get involved with people, then "one-line contact" and don't let social networking be too low-level.
04
Third, when talking to people, don't say you're "doing exceptionally well."
There is a saying that goes well: "Umbrella that does not belong to you, don't go to the rain, inappropriate shoes, throw away." ”
People have a sense of hierarchy, and if you mix well, it means that you are better than others. If you show off your life, show off your watch for tens of thousands of dollars at every turn, and a limited version of the mobile phone, it is undoubtedly a blow to those who live a very ordinary life, and you will also provoke jealousy.
If you have a very poor life, but like to tout yourself, clear-eyed people will know at a glance that their hearts will look down on you.
Don't compare yourself with anyone, and don't have the idea of crushing others. You keep a low profile, or even keep a silent voice, and others have a better impression of you.
05
Fourth, if you don't have a friend, then enjoy the joy of being "alone."
Bacon said, "The lack of true friends is the purest and most pitiful loneliness; without friendship the world is nothing but a wilderness." ”
No matter how big your social circle is, there are especially few true friends, and maybe not one.
When you are in trouble, you will understand that it is useless to ask anyone, or rely on yourself. If you're in the mix, then you don't ask for help, but someone comes to help.
Plant a good plane tree, and there will be a phoenix. When you go forward alone, there will always be like-minded people who will come close to you, and then you will not be alone.
Those who are afraid of being alone, desperately joining other people's circles, wasting time, and possibly kicking out, are completely unnecessary.
06
Fifth, people who are suddenly particularly good to you need to be "repeatedly guarded."
The ancients said, "When things go wrong, there will be demons." ”
If someone suddenly treats you well, you don't enjoy it, but instead observe quietly and see what he draws? If he hasn't revealed his true thoughts for a long time, you still don't let your guard down.
There are always some people, "put a long line, catch a big fish", set up the emotional card, and use it once in the future, and they will all be pulled back.
Choose the right time, reject the other party once, you can see his true face.
07
Sixth, the people who let you take advantage of you are actually the people who come to "hurt you."
In the community where I live, there is such a thing: a divorced woman with children, life is particularly bitter. The man next door often came to help. Let's say carrying gas canisters, moving furniture, etc. Afterwards, women would invite men to tea and a meal. One after another, the rumors also came out, and there was a noise in the man's home.
Some of them can't take advantage of it. Such a lesson, you have to keep in mind.
Even if you find the treasure on the road, don't be proud, but take the initiative to return it to the owner. Otherwise, you just don't pick it up.
The essence of interpersonal communication is mutual benefit, if you have been taking advantage, then you will one day lose everything, lose more things than you gain.
08
Seventh, the ability to work is not necessarily particularly strong, but you have to "show the results."
From ancient times to the present, we all want to be humble people.
However, excessive humility will bury oneself.
In the fast-paced workplace, no one wants to calm down and listen to you report on your life history and talk about your efforts. Show your results at the first time and show your best business card to others, so as to leave the best first impression.
How well you are doing, if others don't know you well, you won't know. Say more beautiful things for yourself, although it is a bit hypocritical, but you will be more confident and easy to gain the trust of others.
09
Eighth, help those who are in trouble, but have great potential for development, and leave a way back for themselves.
When people interact with each other, the most feared thing is not to talk about money, but to be snubbed and chilled.
When you have the ability, you have to make friends with those who have temporary difficulties. In doing so, it is easiest to get the gratitude of others, and perhaps one day in the future, you will have difficulties and easily get the help of the other party.
"Three days of shibetsu should be treated with admiration", you are always invincible, it will be very annoying, and you will lose a lot of opportunities to make friends.
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Since people cannot really come and go alone in their lives, they must cooperate with others, so they must understand the truth of "knowing the world without being sophisticated, laughing at it without mocking it, and being smooth and naïve".
There are many social rules, idle, learn more about people, grasp the measure of feelings, things are easy to do, get along comfortably.
May you and I be able to read countless people and know in our hearts.
Author: Cloth coarse food.
Follow my words and go into your heart.
The illustrations in this article come from the Internet.