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In "Beijing Love Story", there is a line:
Love without materiality does not exist, because material and love are inseparable and closely linked.
Not only is love, but marriage is inseparable from material things.
Roman Roland once said: People can't live by feelings alone, people have to live on money.
Material things and money are the most important cornerstones of marriage, in addition to the emotional basis. Marriages that lack material goods and money are like sandcastles that can withstand the sun but cannot withstand the storm.
In fact, more important than material things and money are the values of two people in marriage.
Psychologist Karen Horne once said:
The biggest gap between people is not status, wealth, education or beauty, but values.
Values are the psychological basis that determines people's behavior, and it directly affects and determines a person's ideals and beliefs, life goals, and pursuit direction.
People whose values match are more likely to have common topics and common attitudes towards life. Both are indispensable to a harmonious and stable marriage.
A person's attitude towards material things and money is a manifestation of values in life; a person's concept of consumption is an extension of values.
The so-called concept of consumption refers to the attitude and views of two people on the level of consumption and the mode of consumption.
The concept of consumption is a concept that has gradually formed in a long-term life, and it is difficult to change in the short term. People with different consumption views will be very uncomfortable living together.
You think she's too much of a loser and spends a lot of money; she thinks you're being very picky, you have to figure it out, and both of you feel uncomfortable.
The reason why marriage pursues door-to-door pairs is that there is a consideration of the concept of consumption.
People with similar consumption views are together, it is easy to reach a consensus, and in terms of quality of life, there will be no major fluctuations.
It is not only conducive to the stability of the future family economic state, but also conducive to the harmony of feelings.
01. The concept of consumption is inconsistent
Netizen Lin Ni (pseudonym) also stopped the loss before marriage due to inconsistent consumption concepts and cancelled the wedding with her boyfriend Yang Qi (pseudonym).
Although she and Yang Qi's age difference is only 2 years old, and the growth environment is similar, the consumption concept of the two is very different.
After canceling the wedding, after some reflection, Linni was overjoyed.
Lin Ni met Yang Qi through blind dates. Because it was introduced by relatives with good relations, coupled with Yang Qi's good appearance and stable work, Lin Ni quickly established a romantic relationship with him.
In the subsequent interaction, Linni found that the other party had some knocks.
On a date, The restaurant that Yang Qi took her to, the per capita consumption was less than 100 yuan, more often, taking her to a roadside shop, or some unknown spicy hot.
Moreover, when she was tired of going out to play, Yang Qi would rather look for a bus everywhere than spend a little more money to take a taxi to take her home.
After grabbing 9 movie tickets for 9 yuan in the APP, Yang Qi will invite her to see the movie.
When watching the movie, Yang Qi was reluctant to buy popcorn, saying that a bucket of 25 yuan, eating it would cause acne, it was not worth it. When she bought a bucket at her own expense, Yang Qi ate the most.
Occasionally invite her to a McDonald's, Yang Qi always goes to the small supermarket outside first, buys two bottles of Coke and brings it in.
Another time, the two went to eat 58 yuan self-service hot pot, the napkins in the store had to be counted separately, a box of 6 yuan, Yang Qijian left Lin Ni alone, spent seven or eight minutes, to the nearby small shop to buy a pack back.
What is even more incredible is that Yang Qi has a car with a super ugly color.
Lin Ni laughed at his poor taste, and Yang Qi said that he also knew that this color was not good, but this color was nearly 3,000 pieces cheaper in the same series.
Linni felt that the purpose of a person's money is to make a better quality of life; buying a thing or eating and playing, thinking about whether it is happy or not, rather than whether it should be cheap or not.
Money is a tool, and it should be you who dominate the money, not let the money dominate you.
In this regard, Yang Qi explained that the consumption concepts of men and women are different. The woman earns 6,000 yuan a month, and she can spend any of the 6,000 yuan.
But men have to leave a part to buy a house, buy a car, get married...
02. The boyfriend refused to take 8888 yuan wedding photos
At that time, Lin Ni was already 28 years old, her parents constantly urged marriage, she listened to Yang Qi's explanation, and did not think much about it, she agreed to Yang Qi's marriage proposal and prepared to get married at the end of the year.
Linnie had a suite in her name, and her parents had bought it for her in full.
Yang Qi is ready to use her house as a wedding room, because her house has just been renovated, and she no longer has to spend money on decoration.
Yang Qi said that the set of marriage houses prepared by his parents was simply decorated and rented out, just to rent a loan.
Yang Qi also said that the wedding should be as simple as possible, and the emcee would not need to be invited. As for the wedding photos, Yang Qi said that the classmates opened the photo studio and looked for him to take a group of indoor sets.
Lin Ni was a little unhappy, getting married is a major life event, how can she be perfunctory in order to save money. She has planned to travel to take wedding photos, the price is 8888 yuan, and other expenses will not exceed 20,000 yuan.
However, Yang Qi felt that there was no need, and the two had an argument.
A few days after the Cold War, Yang Qi invited Lin Ni to the county town next door to participate in the full moon wine of her classmates' children, and to do Lin Ni's ideological work by the way.
It was a weekend, and her cousin happened to come to Linni for something, so she refused Yang Qi's invitation.
Yang Qi thought that her anger had not subsided, so he ordered a cup of milk tea for her.
03. Buy 5 yuan milk tea to apologize
The cousin came with her boyfriend, and they decided to have lunch at Lynnie's house on an impromptu basis.
When the milk tea arrived, just when the cousin boyfriend was going downstairs to buy cigarettes, he took the milk tea back by the way.
At lunch, Linni and her cousin made two dishes and a soup, and her cousin's boyfriend went to order a grilled fish, as well as a brand store dessert, and some fruit.
His generosity and thoughtfulness made Linny envious.
After her cousin left, Lin Ni looked at the milk tea that Yang Qi ordered for her, and the more she thought about it, the more angry she became. Yang Qiming knows that her favorite drink is a brand of 25 yuan milk tea, but what she ordered is 5 yuan milk tea.
Moreover, although Yang Qi did not know that there were 3 people in the family, he knew that his cousin would come over, at least he had to order two cups of milk tea...
Tu Lei once said a sentence:
Men who are willing to spend money for you do not necessarily love you; but men who are not willing to spend money for you must not love you.
Lin Ni thought about Yang Qi's daily performance, and the more she thought about it, the more chilled she became, and she felt that the two were not just inconsistent in their consumption concepts...
At this moment, the doorbell rang and Yang Qi came.
It turned out that Yang Qi called the takeaway brother behind him and learned that it was a man who went downstairs to get milk tea, and he didn't have the heart to drink the full moon wine, and drove over.
After Linny explained clearly, she proposed to cancel the wedding. Yang Qi saw that she had a serious expression and hurriedly asked for reasons. Linni said she didn't want to drink $5 milk tea for the rest of her life.
04. Women are glad to stop loss before marriage
After Yang Qi left, Lin Ni thought of Yang Qi's face that had just been distorted by jealousy, and she was very happy, so that the man who was still careful with his eyes was fortunate to stop the loss in time.
Yang Qi was puzzled and canceled the wedding for a cup of 5 yuan milk tea?
The inconsistent view of consumption is, in essence, the difference in values.
The so-called values, in simple terms, are what do you think is the most worthwhile and meaningful thing?
It's like spending 5,000 yuan to watch a play, some people feel that it is worth it and very meaningful, and the drama brings him a spiritual feast.
Some people feel that they are bored and sleepy, and drama is not only worthless to him, but also a waste of time, which is a meaningless thing.
This is the difference in values.
As Tu Lei said: Money is not the only criterion for testing true love, but it can measure the depth of affection between each other.
The men who are not willing to spend money on you in a relationship, and even a cup of milk tea are worried about you, mainly because he feels that spending money on you is not the most worthwhile and meaningful thing.
Feelings with different values are not far after all, and it is a good thing to stop the loss in time.
Well, today is here, LeLe hopes that each issue of the story can bring friends a little emotional thinking, like Lele please pay attention to me, to the article like collection recommended Oh, thank you we will see you in the next issue ~