Why is parenting? For the future of the child, or for the sake of raising children and preventing old age? Did Mom and Dad think about this? I think many parents have not thought deeply about this problem, thinking that it is best to give their children, but they do not know that sometimes the best is also the source of ruining their children.
Many parents after having children, make money more desperately, everything is for the children, hoping to lay a better foundation for their children, so that they can have a better future. However, some families are very wealthy, but the children are not necessarily excellent, and some even become "nibbling on the old people" and losers.
Therefore, making money for children is not the most important thing, educating children well is the real responsibility for children.
When I was in college, there was a classmate from Sichuan in our class, who was a male student. Halfway through college, he dropped out. Because he usually does not come to class, only when the final exam is held, he will come to the exam. Of course, the exam was always failed, and then there were too many hanging subjects, and he simply did not come.
Later, when the classmates talked about him, they said: In fact, this classmate is very well-off, but his parents are busy with business and have not accompanied him to grow. However, when choosing a major in the college entrance examination, his parents must let him choose this major, and he himself does not like it. Although he was admitted to the university of his parents' ideals, he abandoned his studies and wasted this great youth.
Parents have the ability to earn money, so that children can enjoy a better material life and better educational resources. However, when a child's optimal age for education is missed, it is almost impossible for us to make up for it. So, between making money to support a family and educating their children, parents need to find a balanced fulcrum.
Moreover, the growth of children is a long process, in this process, we need to have enough patience, but also need to have scientific parenting methods and concepts.
In ancient times, there were "Mengmu Three Migrations", there were also "Mother-in-law Embroidery", the mother was the child's first enlightenment teacher, and the mother's words and deeds had a major impact on the child's young mind. If you want your child to become an excellent person, when educating your child, you must follow the simplest principles, don't limit too much, and manage everything.
The smarter the mother, the more she knows how to raise excellent children, is that mother you?
Mothers want to give their children unconditional love.
We parents are always flaunting that everything we do is for our children, because we love our children. However, our love for our children is often conditional. The child must listen to us, otherwise the mother will be very angry, and may "not want you". The child must excel in his studies, otherwise the mother will say, "I don't have a child like you." Such love from parents is a kind of harm to children.
Mother's unconditional love for children can nourish children's self-confidence, cultivate children's creativity, and let children have the ability to self-discipline. The child's heart is full of love, in order to explore the future world without fear, in order to learn to love others. So, Mom don't let your love be conditional.
When the teacher criticizes him and the classmates isolate him, what we have to give to the child is to accompany him to become better, support and encourage him, and know how to appreciate him. When we find that the child has shortcomings, help the child to correct it, but we can't put a label, we must accept the child's imperfection in our hearts, and believe that we have time and a way to overcome it.
If the mother can give the child unconditional love, the baby can become a person who is not afraid of the setbacks and difficulties in life, and a person who has the courage to face it, which is the basis for educating the child.
Moms help their children develop a growth mindset.
What is a growth mindset, people with a growth mindset, they will have some shortcomings themselves, such as low intelligence, limited ability to compare a certain aspect, such as no talent. However, they are not discouraged, but still love to learn, dare to challenge their shortcomings, and believe that as long as they make efforts, they can overcome these difficulties.
Of course, we hope that our children can have such a mentality. In life, mothers need to work hard to cultivate their qualities in this regard. When children encounter difficulties and setbacks, we must encourage children to face them and not give up easily.
When the child makes an effort, we affirm his positive attitude in time, and when the child does things, pay more attention to the process experienced by the child and judge less results. Gradually, the child will grow into a person who is willing to try, willing to study hard, and not afraid of failure.
Moms help their children build a sense of worth.
Whether a child has a sense of value has a lot to do with the child's self-esteem level. If a child is always successful and does not get the affirmation of his parents, then he will think that he is a very bad person, not confident, and his self-esteem level is relatively low. Therefore, the child's sense of value needs parents to accumulate a little affirmation and support for the child.
When mothers usually take their children, their eyes should not always focus on what the child has done wrong. Instead, it should be affirmed when the child does a good job.
"You're doing a good job of this," and the child will affirm himself in this regard, thus shaping positive values. Slowly accumulated, the child will lay a lot of self-confidence in the heart, and become a self-respecting, self-loving, and confident child.
Tomato Mom Suggests:
The mother is the feng shui master of the family, a good mother, and the children who are educated will be very good. I suggest that in addition to doing a good job of educating children, mothers should also let fathers participate in the education of children. Because educating children is not only the responsibility of mothers, but also the responsibility of fathers, only husband and wife can make children better.
Educating children is complicated, but it's also simple. Mothers do these things well and believe that their children will be confident and positive in the future, and those who are not afraid of setbacks will have a better future.