Early in the morning, Kojima received a complaint from an expectant mother:
"Do mothers-in-law like to sleep with their grandchildren so much now?" I am still pregnant, and my mother-in-law clearly told me that in the future, after the birth of the baby, I will sleep with the child, and I will directly ask for it without asking if I want to."
The mother-to-be said: In the name of "for your own good", the mother-in-law directly asks the baby to sleep with herself after birth, and the normal should not ask the daughter-in-law whether she wants to help with the baby?
Not only does it deny that some elderly people now have the subconscious of "competing for possession of children", but also have emotional dependence on children, in principle, it is to assist mothers to help take children, but in fact, it is to alienate children and mothers.
Do you want to give your child to your grandmother to sleep with? Kojima himself was reluctant
First, the physical condition of the elderly is not as good as that of the young
If the baby and the elderly sleep together, it is easy to exhale the turbid and unhealthy gas exhaled by the elderly, from the child's health considerations, the sleeping environment should at least be safe, so try not to let the children and the elderly sleep together.
Second, the care of children is itself the unshirkable responsibility of parents
The old man helps to take the baby is a sentiment, unwilling to take the baby is not at fault, for parents, taking care of the child is their unshirkable responsibility, although the process is hard.
Third, children do not sleep with themselves, it is difficult to form a close parent-child relationship
Many parents go to work during the day, they don't have much time to spend with their children, if they are not around at night, aren't their children the same as left-behind children? Especially in the infant stage, the long-term separation of children and parents is likely to affect the parent-child relationship between children and parents.
Moreover, from the perspective of parents, presumably no mother will accept that her child is closer to others, and for this reason, she also tries to ensure that her child sleeps with herself.
Fourth, children and the elderly sleep and are easily affected by the thinking of the older generation
Because of their different experiences and living environments, the elderly's concept of people, things, and money will certainly be different from that of young people, and there are many negative factors. If you don't want your child to be adversely affected, you should take your child to sleep by yourself
Fifth, the time before going to bed can be beneficial to the child's education
Before going to bed, it is actually a good parent-child education time, parents can do role-playing games with their children, tell stories, sing nursery rhymes, memorize ancient poems, etc., and subtly guide children to learn a lot of things. If it is a grandmother, how can you expect your child to learn so much?
How do you tell your mother-in-law that you don't want her to sleep with your baby?
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is more difficult to get along with in all interpersonal relationships, not to mention the problem of taking care of children, which is not a problem that can be solved in one sentence or two sentences.
First of all, the old man's efforts to help with children are naturally to be affirmed, the old man loves his grandchildren is a very common situation, at a deeper level, this is the old man's desire and attention, so as to realize the performance of self-worth again. In addition to sleeping with children, the elderly are more likely to gain the initiative in taking care of children.
Therefore, from the perspective of caring for the mother-in-law, the mother-in-law is old, the sleep is easy to be bad, the baby often wakes up at night, affecting the sleep of the elderly, and the body of the elderly in the long run is to be eaten.
Then, for the child, the parents are the first responsible person, so from the responsibility of taking care of the baby, the mother-in-law is not the primary person in charge, the mother-in-law can take care of the baby more during the day, and at night still let the baby sleep with the mother, so that everyone can get a good rest.
In order to better take care of the children, the mother-in-law asks to sleep in the same room with the daughter-in-law?
In fact, in life, the situation of mother-in-law sleeping with children is still relatively good, but have you heard that in order to take care of the baby, "mother-in-law and daughter-in-law sleep in the same bed"?
There is a mother next to the island, due to the lack of parenting experience after childbirth, the mother-in-law slept in the same bed with herself and the baby on the grounds of "taking care of the baby" and drove the child's father to another room.
Most people are very concerned about their privacy, and sleeping is a relatively private thing, most people are not willing to sleep with people they are not close to, especially in this special stage after childbirth, sleeping in a bed with their mother-in-law, thinking about it feels very awkward.
And after childbirth, it is not wise to sleep in the husband's room, and the husband can help with the child together, which can not only promote parent-child care, but also promote the feelings of husband and wife.
Therefore, whether it is the mother-in-law sleeping alone with the baby, or sleeping with the baby with the mother, it is not the best way to raise children.
Kojima would like to say:
The first three years of the child are best raised by the mother herself. A good childhood can cure a lifetime, a bad childhood needs to be cured with a lifetime, for the healthy growth of children, why bother with yourself?
Not to mention that the time for children to be close to themselves is very limited, and after two years of growing up, those intimate times can only be traced from memory, so cherish this "limited edition time"