Children are too clingy and not less independent, which may be the reason for these
Old Zhang Parenting
Release on 2022-03-2023:57
Dietitian, creator in the field of parenting
concern
No matter what he did, the child was always glued to his side, which made the leaf somewhat annoyed. Even when going to the toilet, the child will follow back and forth, and it is terrible to think about. All along, Ye Zi felt that the child was clingy because of the poor independence, so she would want to stay by her mother's side.
But through a week of careful observation, Ye Zi found that the child's independence is quite OK, and many small things in life can be completed independently, without the help of adults. Looking at the child's performance, it really made the leaf a little confused.
Don't
Kids are clingy
Doesn't it have anything to do with independence?
On this issue, in fact, it is impossible to generalize.
Because some children are clingy and because of poor independence, they want to follow their parents and seek some help. But some children are not like this, and they stick to adults for other reasons.
What kind of secrets are hidden behind the sticky children?
1, insecure
Clingy, indicating that the child is insecure in his heart and is afraid of being separated from his parents. The reason for this is actually related to daily education and the companionship of parents. It is likely that there has been a brief separation from my parents before, or that I have said something like "I don't want you" or something.
It is precisely in this way that the child is worried about being separated, and can only get the sense of security he wants through a clingy way. Because around my parents, especially around my mother, I can always feel a different kind of warmth.
2. Dependence
Reason
Between the ages of two and three is the most obvious stage of children's attachment psychology, so their world always wants to revolve around their parents. From another point of view, in fact, it is good to be dependent on the child, indicating that he is using his own way to pull into the distance with his parents and want to stay together forever.
With the passage of time, the child's dependence will slowly disappear, because he will eventually go to society, meet more friends, and then replace the company of his parents.
3. Personality reasons
Do not rule out the reasons for personality, some children have an introverted personality, and some are timid by nature. They dare not act alone, and only when they are around their parents will they feel that they are brave, which is typical of inferiority complex. The formation of children's personality, in addition to congenital reasons, is mostly due to parental education and family life.
Fortunately, there is still room for change in personality, after all, the child is still young. It should be noted that for timid children, parents should push appropriately and exercise their heart shape.
It seems that behind the sticky children, it is not a matter of independence, but also hides their psychological feelings. For parents, this problem must be paid attention to, so as to avoid sowing a shadow in the child's heart and reduce the occurrence of mental illness. The next focus is naturally to accompany the children and help them get out of the misunderstandings in front of them.
However, parents should understand that it is not a bad thing for children to be clingy, although it will affect the daily mood of parents, and even their lives. But at the same time, it also hides a harmonious parent-child relationship, depending on how parents guide and educate. If the parents show impatience, the parent-child relationship is definitely not good. But if parents cherish it and treat their children with a gentle attitude, I believe the results will be very different.
To improve the stickiness of children, parents should strengthen these aspects
1
Give your child enough security
Since the child is insecure, the parents try to make up for this deficiency and let them feel love and warmth. Quite simply, when a child needs companionship, parents respond attentively. Even if it is just a simple talk, the child will feel very happy.
The sense of security is hidden in the details, in the words and deeds of parents, so when taking care of children, we must control emotions and control language.
2
Find more interest for your child
Maybe it's too boring, so I think about sticking to my parents. If you have your own hobbies, then the child's emotions have a place to stay, and they don't always have to be with their parents. Next, just do what you like, whether it's playing games, drawing, reading, it's not bad.
Having emotional sustenance is a good thing for children and can also cultivate their strengths. Most importantly, children will slowly become independent and think independently without the care of their parents.
Warm advice for parents:
In fact, the time to accompany children is limited, and when they still need it, parents should not refuse, but learn to enjoy and make companionship more meaningful.
A good parent-child relationship begins with the child's clinginess and the parent's intentions. Take this opportunity to slowly pass on good behavior habits and personality to your children, so that they are ready to grow into a better version of themselves.
When dealing with children, we must restrain our bad temper and do not use them as an emotional outlet. Because of the emotions of parents, the impact on children is too great.
Write at the end:
Cherish the days with your children and warm their childhood with love. I believe that children who grow up in love will become rich people in the future, not afraid of the sun.