After being a full-time mother for three years, now that the baby has enrolled in school, he has returned to the workplace, has a new understanding in parenting, kindergarten, family, marriage, emotions, etc., and is still the mother who likes to share, hoping to share more topics that can collide with sparks and dry goods with babies...
Wen | has a small bell pepper (the original is not easy, please do not copy, welcome to personal reprint and share)
Figure| source network (if there is infringement, please contact to delete)
Montaigne said: "Marriage is like a bird cage, the birds on the outside can't get in and out, and the birds on the inside can't get out." ”
This is too vivid, when not married, marriage looks very beautiful, and when you really enter marriage, especially after having children, you will miss your previous free time.
However, after marriage, marriage is no longer their own business, for the sake of children, for the sake of relatives, can only persist.
Therefore, most marriages only bring women to grow and mature.
After having a daughter, it is really superfluous to find a man?
Good friend Xiangxiang has not posted her husband in the circle of friends for a long time, in fact, the frequency of her circle of friends has now decreased a lot.
Sometimes once a week, sometimes once or twice a month, except for the occasional baby, many times the content is very calm.
Xiangxiang is a very lively person, in the years before and after marriage, she likes to share her personal life, and her husband often appears in her circle of friends.
The obvious boundary is the birth of the baby, and since the birth of her daughter, her circle of friends has changed.
When I met her people, it was also obvious that there was a big change, and the overall feeling was that I had matured a lot.
She said: "Since having a daughter, I found that in fact, men are quite redundant, and Ye Haiyang's choice is very wise. With two daughters, you don't need a man, and life is really happy. It's just a pity that we are not as strong as others, and we have seen through this in advance. ”
Since having a baby, her relationship with her husband has become very delicate, often arguing for the child, she is constantly improving, working hard, trying to take care of the baby, the baby was born for more than three years, she quit variety shows, quit TV shows, basically accompanied the baby over, her husband has not changed much, or as before.
Sometimes the baby cries, he also loses his temper, and yells at the baby, as long as the baby affects his personal play time, he begins to lose his temper with the child, which makes her really unacceptable.
Having a childish husband, is it lucky or unlucky?
Xiangxiang used to think that her husband's childishness was an advantage, and she often shared her husband's childish daily stories in the circle of friends, and when she had children, she was most disgusted by her husband's childishness.
Her husband often gets angry with a one- or two-year-old, and when the child invades his territory, he criticizes the child, the kind of illogical criticism, the kind of criticism that goes from east to west.
She was really worried that having such an unreliable father would affect her daughter's growth.
She even seriously considered divorcing, but in addition to the conflict between her husband and her parenting concept, the relationship between the two people did not have a problem, in addition, although her salary income was good, if she really divorced, the quality of life and educational resources of the children would definitely decline.
A harmonious family is the result of two people working together
As a woman, seeing the glory of the current era and the social status of women, I am still very emotional and content.
Women have completely turned over, and I am really glad that they live in such an era.
Women can have their own careers, they can support themselves, they can also support their children, and they can take care of their parents.
As women awaken and become stronger, the stability of marriage naturally declines.
In the old society, no matter how irresponsible the men in the family were, the concept of "marrying a chicken with a chicken and marrying a dog with a dog" was deeply rooted in the hearts of the people, and getting married was a lifetime, and women could only swallow their anger, for their own sake, but also for their children and families.
Now that women are stronger, they are no longer unconditional in their married life, they can choose to continue marriage, they can also choose to divorce, and even choose to bring their own children, because there is a way back, so the marriage becomes unstable.
As far as the current situation is concerned, divorce has little impact on women, but it still has a large impact on most men.
In order to maintain a harmonious marriage, only women's progress is not enough, the key fathers must also follow along.
Women seem to be born to be a good mother, and men need to constantly learn and improve, and progress with their wives in order to become a good father.
Women's responsibilities have been improved, they can go up to the hall and the kitchen, they can take care of their children while working, and the stickiness to marriage will naturally decline, and men can only continue to improve and keep themselves improving, so that they can always stand on a line with their wives without being left behind.
Start by improving your baby's skills
If in a family, women do full-time motherhood, take care of children, men are responsible for earning money to support the family, the family understands each other, takes care of each other, the main task of accompanying children naturally falls on the head of the mother, and the father can only take care of the baby between amateurs.
Full-time wives understand that it is not easy for husbands to work, husbands understand that it is not easy for wives to be full-time wives, and both sides tolerate each other and do not have to be too harsh.
If in a family, the elderly are responsible for taking care of the children, and the husband and wife work together, then when they come home from work, they should not be busy taking care of the children, the mobile phone is thrown aside, and the husband continues to play the mobile phone and play the game like no one else.
No one will take care of the baby from the beginning, everyone is slowly improving and growing up slowly.
How many dads are changing their baby's diapers now? How many babies can make and feed milk powder to their babies?
Or when the mother takes care of the baby more, there are old people, the fathers do not consciously retreat to the second line, no longer take the initiative to progress, only the mothers are still actively progressing.
This state of affairs does not last long, and the contradictions will increase more and more, and the problems will accumulate deeper and deeper, and eventually they will evolve into quarrels and family conflicts.
Therefore, from the birth of the baby, fathers should keep on the same line with their mothers, often practice, continuous progress, more understanding, more tolerance, so as to exchange for a harmonious and warm family.