Mr. Liu has been married for many years, but he rarely sees his wife's smiling face and a cold face all day. In order to make his wife happy, Mr. Liu bought flowers, jewelry, and clothes, and tried his best to love and give, to get closer, but in the end, what he got was a complete denial from his wife.
In the face of his cold wife, he broke down and even knelt down to his wife many times, but her wife was indifferent.
Helpless, Mr. Liu brought his wife to the mediation site, hoping to get the guidance of professional teachers to help his wife open the knot of 20 years ago, and she could not walk out of the childhood shadow left by her brother.
Referring to the nightmare that occurred 20 years ago, his wife, Ms. Zhou, was obviously a little frightened, but she still plucked up the courage to tell the unforgettable past.
Childhood Shadows
Ms. Zhou has two brothers and sisters, she is four years younger than her brother, her father is a migrant worker, and there is only her mother, brother and her at home. In her memory, her brother was very favored and domineering, always bullying her, shouting at her every time he did farm work, picking up heavy work for her, and being beaten if he couldn't move.
Her brother beat her with the belt of the cow and beat her to death, and her heart-rending plea for forgiveness did not make her brother stop, but the hand was heavier. She was beaten so badly that even her bones were exposed, and what chilled her most was that her mother did not stop her brother's evil deeds after seeing it, and pretended not to see it and walked away.
The parents' preference for sons and daughters was severe, and the doting made her brother more and more lawless, taking pleasure in bullying her, and Ms. Zhou was later beaten to numbness.
At the age of 19, Ms. Zhou walked alone by the river, saw a 5-meter-deep ditch, she wandered, wanted to jump down to relieve the pain for a hundred, just at this time, she had an idea, marry a good family, maybe can get rid of the pain.
At the age of 20, she got her wish and married her current husband, Mr. Liu, under the arrangement of her mother, who regarded him as the redeemer and pinned the rest of her life on this loyal and honest man.
Speaking of this, Ms. Zhou on the stage could not help sobbing, thinking that after marriage, she could escape the nightmare and run to happiness, but she did not expect that it would backfire.
Miscarriage events
When she was more than two months pregnant, she urged her husband to do something, and the annoying husband punched back hard, and half an hour later, Ms. Zhou became red, and four hours later she miscarried.
A heavy blow knocked Ms. Zhou back into pain.
She did not dare to blame her husband for not, silently hiding this wound, only because she had a "sense of fear of being beaten by her brother", and in this huge shadow, she did not dare to resist.
So far, many years have passed since this incident, Ms. Zhou is still vividly remembered, and the injury can never be erased. And Mr. Liu can't remember clearly, at that time he was young and vigorous, did not understand things, did not know how to care, he regretted self-blame.
Later, Ms. Zhou told her husband about being beaten by her brother, Mr. Liu was very distressed, he did not expect that his wife had suffered so many grievances in her mother's house, he made up his mind not to let his wife suffer again, since then, he has taken on heavy work and tired work, trying not to let his wife suffer.
Ms. Zhou said coldly that I did not feel loved, but I was separated from my original family.
Ms. Zhou believes that her husband has no love for her, not only because of the miscarriage, but many trivial things in life prove that her husband has no love, if she loves her, she will not even be reluctant to buy her a dress.
Buy new clothes and report incidents
That summer, she and her husband were looking at a dress on the street and wanted to buy it, but her husband pulled her to prevent her from buying, Ms. Zhou was very angry, so she went to buy it herself, and as a result, the mobile phone was stolen, and Ms. Zhou wanted to die at that time. Her husband's actions made her despair, and she saw no love and pity in this man.
Ms. Zhou said that when she got married, her mother only gave her 200 yuan, not a new dress, she wanted to wear new clothes to get married, but her brother blocked and said that she did not have to buy, there was something to wear, Ms. Zhou did not dare to say anything, wearing old clothes to get married.
But Ms. Zhou never mentioned this to her husband, and the hearts of her mother and brother to wear new clothes formed a shadow that could not be touched.
Mr. Liu explained that at that time, his salary was very low, only a few hundred yuan, life can be saved, he thinks that as long as there are clothes to wear, there is no need to buy new, at that time he was really stingy, if he knew that his wife did not buy new clothes there was an impulse to die, then he must have bought.
Mr. Liu is very depressed, he actually loves his wife very much, he does not know how to please him, where he does not do well, his wife does not say, he is full of anger, and he also says that he does not love her.
Ms. Zhou said that there are many examples of her husband not loving her, and just some time ago, when she had a problem with her physical examination, her husband's reaction disappointed her to the extreme.
She came back from a hospital examination with cysts and fluid effusions. When she returned home, she did not directly tell her husband about her illness, and in her heart she hoped that her husband would take the initiative to read the report sheet and care about her condition, but his husband did not do so. Some disappointed Ms. Zhou took the initiative to stuff the report sheet to her husband, and the husband threw it on the sofa without looking at it, and the husband's move made Ms. Zhou chill again, thinking that her husband did not care about her at all.
Mr. Liu said, what disease you have told me directly, how to treat us how to treat, I can not understand the content of the report, and his wife returned home he also took the initiative to ask.
Her husband's mu ne disappointed Ms. Zhou, she longed to be loved and protected, but her husband's actions made her insecure, and over time, Ms. Zhou stopped communicating with her husband and became silent.
Trying to please but not to exchange for the happiness of the wife
The younger generations in the family saw the situation and quickly mediated and gave Advice to Mr. Liu. After persuasion, Mr. Liu seemed to have opened his mind and took the initiative to show his wife. He sent necklaces to make his wife happy, but his wife was not happy for a few days and returned to normal; on his wife's birthday, he bought flowers and cakes, and when he saw that his wife was cooking in the kitchen and could not open her hands, he put the flowers on the table, but his wife said that he was not sincere because he did not personally hand the flowers in his hand.
Mr. Liu has since grown a heart eye, on The day of Women's Day, he bought a bouquet of flowers and personally handed them to his wife, but her wife was still unhappy. Ms. Zhou said that her husband had already caused harm to her before, and doing this could not make up for it.
Mr. Liu racked his brains to come up with a series of romantic practices, but he could not touch his wife's cold boulder, and he even knelt down and begged for his wife's forgiveness, breaking down and crying like a child.
Ms. Zhou said that no matter what her husband did, she could not get out of that shadow and could not forgive.
Let go of the past and move on to the future
This childhood shadow was planted by her brother, and the mediator asked Ms. Zhou to talk to her brother to try to open the knot, but she did not expect Ms. Zhou to refuse.
She said that now her brother knows that he is wrong, although he does not say an apology, but often sends her agricultural products from his hometown, and she forgives her brother, but he can never get out of the psychological shadow.
The mediation team gave pertinent advice and patiently enlightened the couple according to the crux of the problem. Ms. Zhou slowly opened her heart and said that her husband handed over the money to her, just by virtue of this, you can see her husband's love, her husband will not express, and she is too entangled in the past, and she cannot feel happiness under heavy hearts.
Ms. Zhou firmly stated that from now on, she decided to forget the past resentment, live a good life with her husband, see his wife's long-lost smiling face, Mr. Liu is a little excited, he said that in the future, he will take the initiative to care for his wife, rather than please, the couple smiled and hugged together.
Write at the end
As the saying goes, a happy childhood can cure a lifetime, and an unhappy childhood depends on a lifetime to heal. Ms. Zhou's original family favored sons over daughters, her brother's domestic violence, the shadow of an unfortunate childhood always accompanied her, she regarded marriage as a life-saving straw, according to the various requirements of her husband according to her heart, and Mu Ne's husband did not know how to coax her to be happy, and could only clumsily please, but this could only be exchanged for a moment of peace, but could not solve the fundamental problem, because the root of the disease was not caused by him, but the brother.
Ms. Zhou has a strong need for love, always thinking that her husband can give care according to her wishes, but she is always disappointed. In fact, in the face of Mu Ne's husband, we must pay attention to ways and methods, and the wife must take the initiative to express what she thinks and click on her husband in order to meet the needs
The mediation teachers suggested that in order for Ms. Zhou to get rid of her heart disease, she needed a sense of ceremony, that is, her brother's solemn apology. Mr. Liu said that he would take his wife to his brother and tell him about his sister's pain, hoping that his brother would face the problem and give his sister a belated apology.
I hope that Mr. Liu will do this, so that she can not only help her wife let go of the past, but also let her wife see that her husband supports her and protects her thoroughly, and what she lacks most is protection.
I hope that Ms. Zhou can open her heart knot, get rid of the heavy burden, live strong and light, and spend the rest of her life happily.