Your child's social skills
Many parents will mutter, their children are not too lonely, always timid and do not like to talk, or too lively, and other children push and pull... The child is so socially unskilled, while wondering if his nature is like this, have mom and dad ever wondered if the child's behavior is related to the pattern of adult communication?
Manifestations of social impairment in children
1, children see children like to get together, but a little unsatisfactory push people, bite people, make everyone very unhappy.
2, the child is still quite lively at home, but as soon as he goes outside, he immediately becomes timid, either hiding behind his parents and does not dare to come out, or he is very shy to see that people do not dare to speak, and he does not dare to have any physical contact with people.
3, children only prefer a certain type of children, with such children will often have a lot of fun, but with other types of children are prone to communication "obstacles", not the baby hides from others, or people refuse to play with the baby.
The cause of a child's lack of social skills
1. The communication mode between the family and the child is inappropriate, resulting in the child learning the wrong way of communication in the process of communicating with the caregiver. For example, parents always like to dominate and command their children, so after going out, he will treat other children in the same way. If the parents satisfy him unconditionally in everything, go out, he will also be self-centered in everything, hoping that others will satisfy him unconditionally.
2, always locked at home, or even if he goes out, parents rarely encourage him to interact with people, lack of opportunities and experiences to interact with others.
3. Even if parents encourage babies to interact with people, his experience of interacting with people brings him a lot of unpleasant experiences, causing him to have fears of interacting with people. For example, parents always force their babies to share in order to take care of their children, or when interacting with others, their self-esteem is hurt.
4, of course, there will be many other factors affecting the improvement of baby social skills, in these factors affecting the baby's social skills, parents may pay more attention to other factors, and the mode of communication with the baby itself is often easy to ignore. In fact, Baby's initial social skills were acquired by observing and imitating the patterns of communication between his parents and other family members and with him and outsiders, and these habitual patterns of interaction will remain in his subconscious and have a profound impact on him throughout his life. Therefore, paying attention to the pattern of communication between parents and babies is of great significance to the development of his social skills.
7 ways to improve your child's social skills
1
Equal approach
Communicating with the child in a commanding way, he will get a sense of powerlessness, fear, and coercion from the words of his parents, and he will either resist and learn to communicate with others in the same way, or he will obey and become weak and deceitful in front of others.
An equal mode of communication is a way to make each other feel good. For example, we want our baby to eat well and say to them, "Eat some carrots!" The little guy may bite his teeth and the words "don't eat" pop up. "Then eat a pea!" The little guy still bit his teeth and came with the word "don't eat".
Instead of communicating with your baby like this, you might as well do it another way: "Do you want to eat carrots or peas first?" "This way of asking questions does not give the baby a sense of coercion, respecting his choice without losing his parents' prestige."
2
Empathetic way
No matter what the parent wants to guide the baby to do, first of all, to perceive his feelings, and to express the parent's understanding of his emotions in appropriate language, on this basis and then express the parents' expectations, the baby will usually be more receptive.
For example, it's late, and the baby should have gone to bed earlier, but he still clamored to watch a cartoon. Parents can communicate with him like this: "This cartoon is so beautiful, you would like to watch it now." But it's a shame it's time to go to bed now, but we can read it tomorrow. ”
3
Open way
When parents talk to their babies about something, it is best to ask more open-ended questions so that he has more room to think. Non-open-ended questions will limit the baby's thinking, allowing him to deal with the past with a simple word.
For example, if we see a small red flower, if we just ask the baby, "What color is this flower?" His answer was only one "Red!" On the contrary, if we ask him, "You see, how is this flower different from the flower over there?" He may have observed many differences or similarities between these two flowers, and he would have more opportunities to express himself.
If we ask him, "Guess how this flower grew?" "He may think of many descriptions that are either very scientific, or full of childlike and fantasy.
04
Positive way
There is no better way to stimulate a person's good mood and arouse a person's interest in communication than the positive affirmation model. For example, when we see that the baby is doodling, instead of instructing him how to draw rabbits and how to draw grass, it is better to look at his paintings and say: "You have painted these little grasses well, oh, green and green, some places are rare, some places are dense, just like the real grass." And this little flower, red and red, with green grass is very beautiful! ”
05
Humorous and funny way
Humor has the magic of turning awkwardness and hostility into lightness and friendliness. Often give the baby a little humor, we can not only easily resolve the confrontation between the baby and us, but also help to cultivate his humorous characteristics, which will have a very good impact on his future life.
For example, the baby came back from the outside, the small face is full of mud, instead of catching him and immediately washing his face and making him cry, it is better to first hold him to the mirror to see: "Hey, look at our little baby, they have become a dirty face little flower cat." Let's go wash the kitten's face. Don't let people see us as dirty! "Convincing him in this way will easily become more cooperative."
06
Flexible and flexible approach
Having to do something often makes each other very unhappy, and when we encounter a situation that needs to change the situation, it is better to change our old-fashioned way of doing things, and maybe everything will be solved smoothly. For example, it's time to eat, but the baby has to watch cartoons, or refuses to go to dinner.
Instead of making him cry before dinner, or by him watching it for a long time and waiting for the meal to be cold, it is better to deal with this matter like this: "This cartoon is really beautiful." Let's try it, can we hear the sound in the cartoon when we sit at the dinner table? "Once he's at the dinner table and his attention is diverted, it's easy for the baby to forget the need to watch cartoons and turn to eating."
07
A story-colored approach
Human nature is to like stories, and descriptions with a sense of story are often more attractive and more acceptable. Often communicate with the baby in a storytelling way, he can slowly learn to describe something vividly and interestingly.
For example, describing a puppy seen in a garden is far less impressive than "we saw a puppy in the garden": "We were playing in the garden, and a puppy ran over and barked at the beanie. Doudou was about to cry and quickly ran to her mother.' Mom picked up the beanie and threw the puppy a small pompom, and the puppy played happily with the pompom..."
What parents need to know
1. Children's social skills are a very important lesson in the three basic qualities. Children's social budding is the first step in exploring the world, and parents have an incomparably important responsibility to learn to respect each child's social status in all social relationships and define social rules based on themselves.
2, introverted and not good at expressing children, they are in a state of caution and observation because of lack of security, parents do not rush to guide them to participate in group activities, but first invite him to observe and explore the environment, when they feel safe, one-on-one socialization, to ensure that children can achieve a certain degree of safety and trust for others, the last step is to enter the small group, so that the step-by-step way can let the child really open their hearts to boldly touch the world.
3, too lively and too much body language children, need to patiently tell him "I know you like ta, but your such practice may make ta trouble" so that children understand that they have the right to express love, while the other party also has the right to refuse their love, will not be rejected and depressed, guide the child to express and communicate in an introverted way, express themselves without affecting others, and let the children understand the sense of boundaries.