With the opening of the national two-child policy, many families have put the birth of a second child on the agenda. However, many parents are worried that Dabao will not accept it, after all, the new members of this family will take away the attention and love of their parents. In fact, many parents who want to have two treasures have such troubles, both worried about conflicts between the two children in the future, and at the same time afraid that the treasure will have anxiety.
His son Toot was already three years old, so his mother had the idea of asking for a second treasure. Regarding the issue of having a second child, he had also raised it in front of Toot before, but he firmly disagreed, and he also made the act of dropping things and crying. For this reason, my mother could only dispel the idea of asking for the second treasure, but she was helpless, and finally accidentally had the second treasure. Mother's idea is very simple, don't let Toot know for the time being, when the second treasure is born smoothly, he will accept it naturally.
Just want to say that the mother's idea is too simple, about the birth of a second child whether to seek the opinion of the boss, the answer is yes. Because Dabao is also a member of the family, in order to avoid unnecessary harm in the future, informing the child in advance is the minimum respect. Moreover, if Dabao can psychologically accept the existence of younger siblings and is willing to help his parents take care of Erbao together, it is also a good thing for parents.
Because in the process of taking care of the second treasure, the responsibility and patience of the big treasure have been exercised, and they have also learned to share. However, how should parents tell the boss better? It is best to win the child's understanding and expectations.
1, adjust the boss's mentality, to pass on more love to him
Children's ideas are very simple, they are not willing to accept the existence of the second child, is nothing more than worry that parents do not love themselves, after all, after having younger siblings, parents' energy and love need to be divided in half. In the eyes of parents, this is a manifestation of Dabao's selfishness and willfulness, but in fact, behind it is the child's anxiety and timidity.
At this time, parents should first adjust Dabao's mentality by fighting for him, so that he knows that after having younger siblings, Bao's mother's love for him will not decrease, and there will be younger brothers or sisters to love him. The focus of parents now is to dispel the worries and worries in Dabao's heart. And in this process, we must focus on communication, so that children know that their parents love him. Through step-by-step guidance, children will also accept the coming of the Second Jewel.
2. Maintain daily contact and do not let Dabao feel indifferent
During pregnancy, the mother may be in a bad mood or unwell, but no matter how much pressure there is, when you are with the boss, please do not pass these bad emotions to them, and do not neglect to take care of Dabao. At this stage, in fact, many big treasures are more sensitive, if the parents often blame, or snub, they will blame all this on the younger siblings.
Remember, at any time, please don't push away the big treasure. The process of conceiving in October is somewhat long, with the participation and waiting of Dabao, I believe it will be even better. As long as Dabao can feel more love and security, I believe they will look forward to the appearance of younger siblings more than their parents. Don't ignore Dabao's feelings, because at this moment they are the most sensitive, and the unconscious behavior and words of their parents may make them become glass hearts.
3. Participate in prenatal education and let Dabao feel the power of life
From the moment he decided to want the second treasure, he began to communicate with the big treasure, and then got his approval. Of course, this process may have friction, if it is blindly forced, it is likely to make Dabao more resistant. It is better to let him participate in the whole process of prenatal education, try to let Dabao lie on his mother's stomach, and listen to Erbao's heartbeat. Especially in the third trimester, when the second treasure fetus moves frequently, I believe that the big treasure will be more touched.
Encourage Dabao to talk to Erbao more, just like daily storytelling, and increase his sense of mission as an older brother or sister. By the way, invite Dabao to take a name and guide him to play his clever imagination. Wait until Erbao is born, and then invite Dabao to take care of Erbao together, even if it is simply to take diapers without wetting.
In any case, we must make Dabao mentally prepared and give them more security and love. Only in this way can Dabao accept the existence of younger siblings from the bottom of his heart, and avoid the contradiction between parents and children in the future. As a parent, don't let Dabao have the idea of being "abandoned" or "not being pampered", otherwise he will become more sensitive.
In fact, the original intention of parents to have a second child is very simple, that is, they hope to give their children a companion, and brothers and sisters grow up with each other, such a love is not felt by many only children. However, if you use the wrong method, it is easy to hurt the emotions between children, and even the emotions between parents and children will be hurt. The best love for a child is to make him feel respected and endlessly secure.
【Transferred from: Sohu original — baby parenting theory】