On the community square, two children because of the rush to swing, one child pushed the other child, the child's mother who was pushed felt that his child suffered a loss, he went up to the pusher's child theory, and then the parents of the two children quarreled.
Because of the small conflicts between children, which lead to conflicts between two parents, it is very common in life.
However, the parents intervened in the contradictions between the children, and the two parents began to argue and scold in front of the children, is it really good?
Let's talk about how parents can do what is right after the conflict between children, so as to give positive guidance to children.
I was chasing the play "Our Marriage" all this time. In this play, there are scenes of conflicts between children.
In the first episode, Shen Huixing is moving, and her daughter Sugar Sugar plays a slide game in the new community.
However, Tong Tong, the son of Jiang Jing, who is also in the same community, does not allow Sugar Candy to play, so the two children clash.
After Sugar Sugar Grandpa saw it, he was worried that the little granddaughter would not be able to snatch the boy and be bullied, so he wanted to go over to help, but was stopped by Shen Huixing. Shen Huixing said that the child let her handle it herself in advance.
At this time, Tong Tong's mother saw that her child was bullying other children, so she asked Tong Tong to apologize to Sugar Candy. But their children are usually spoiled, and the mother refuses to apologize no matter how much she persuades the child.
Sugar Sugar was isolated by Tong Tong and other children, and could only stand alone in the distance to watch other children play. Sugar Sugar told her mom that I didn't like it and asked her if she could go back to her former home.
Sugar Sugar Mom tells the child that this is a very small thing that we can solve, and tells the child that the slide is a public facility, does he not let him play, he will not play? Go, Mom with you.
Tong Tong said that his father said that the building area of the Sugar Sugar Family is very small, in the face of Tong Tong's impoliteness and unfriendliness, Sugar Sugar's mother was not angry, but asked: Did your father tell you that the slide is a public facility, and you have to play with everyone?
Then Sugar Sugar's mother took other children to play the game of eagle catching chickens together, at this time Tong Tong was isolated, and saw that other children were having so much fun, and took the initiative to say that they would also participate.
Sugar Sugar's mother took the opportunity to let Tong Tong know that it was wrong not to let other children play on the slide just now. Guide the child to apologize to his own child.
The mother of the child who stood on the side was surprised, and her child actually took the initiative to apologize and admit that she was wrong. Saying that Sugar Sugar Mom really has a way, it's too powerful.
Shen Huixing is very wise when dealing with conflicts between children, at the beginning does not participate, let the children face and solve themselves first, when the children can not solve, help the children, encourage the children, use small games to narrow the distance with the children, let the children who make mistakes take the initiative to recognize the mistakes, solve the contradictions between the children, let the two children play together again, become good friends.
Looking back at the practice of arguing with adults and children in the square for swinging, it can be said that it gives children a very bad example.
Children are also a small society, life between children and children inevitably have some friction and quarrel, when the contradiction arises, the parents' approach is very critical, which is a good opportunity to improve children's social skills.
It is recommended that parents face the contradictions and conflicts between their children and deal with them in the following steps:
First, stabilize your own emotions and your child's emotions, and teach your child emotional management
Conflicts between children, as a parent to do rational treatment is really difficult, especially the party that suffers losses, people's instinctive reaction is to as a "good father" and "good mother" role, try to protect the interests of their children, but this is not conducive to the resolution of contradictions.
In the face of quarrels and conflicts between children, parents must first calm down and understand that this is inevitable and what children need to experience on the road to growth. Don't lose control of your emotions as soon as you see that your child has been bullied and wronged, and you are eager to beat up the other party and be angry for your child.
Be sane, not emotional, calmly help the child deal with the problem, and set a good example for the child.
After parents stabilize their emotions, they should also help their children stabilize their emotions. Because the child has just had a conflict with his little friend, the emotions are often excited.
At this time, parents should express understanding for the child's venting emotions, listen to the child, so that the child can open his heart to express his thoughts to the parents, give the child a sense of safety and love, and let the child know that the parent is his strong backing. At the same time, we must also let the child know that tantrums and emotions will not solve any problems.
Everyone has emotions, how to control their emotions, with reason and wisdom to deal with problems, this is what children need to learn.
And children and other small partners conflict, emotional excitement, this time is a good time for parents to cultivate children to control emotions.
Second, let the child narrate the whole process and encourage the child to find a way to resolve the conflict on his own
If there is a conflict between the child and the little partner, the parent can let the child narrate the ins and outs of the matter.
Because every child will take his own stand to describe the conflict, defend himself, and pick the aspects that are beneficial to him.
Therefore, parents should not only listen to what their children say, but also listen to what other children say, which not only helps to exercise their children's expression ability, but also can understand the truth in many ways, so that a bowl of water is leveled and the quarrel between children can be reasonably resolved.
When the child narrates, the parent can guide the child to think, let the child think about what better solution is not.
I remember once I took my child to the playground to play, there was a child and my son were rushing to play with the climbing rope, both people dragged the rope, no one let go, no one could play.
I reminded the two children that you can think of a fair way, and soon, the two children thought of "rock-paper-scissors cloth", whoever wins will play first.
The child solves the conflict by thinking of his own way, re-formulating the rules of the game, and abiding by the rules, which is a growth for the child.
With the solution and ability to resolve conflicts, children can later worry about socializing.
Assess the nature of the conflict between children and respond appropriately
Conflicts between children are not recommended for parents to intervene, but this is not to say that all conflicts are not left to parents.
In the face of conflict between children, parents must first make an assessment.
If the conflict between children is only a general nature of fighting, such as scrambling for toys, children do not involve obvious violence, and the two children are evenly matched, then this kind of game-type fighting, parents do not rush to intervene immediately, can be silently observed next to it.
If the conflict between children escalates and crosses the line, for example, if one party hits a lot of people, then the parents can stop it and separate the two children.
When the parents of the other child are not present, do not have physical contact with the other child, and do not use words or other means to scold the child of the other person. Parents can communicate with each other's parents.
It is worth noting that parents should distinguish whether the conflict between children is an ordinary game, a conflict of property rights, or a regular bullying. If it is the former, parents do not have to be nervous, if it is the latter, parents must contact the school teacher in time and inform the other parents.
In childhood, children develop interpersonal skills through conflict of a play-like nature.
Parents should let their children adapt and resolve conflicts on their own. When the child is doing well, parents should give the child affirmation in time, and when the child does not do well, do not reprimand the child too much, correct the child's wrong behavior, and guide the child to make the right choice.
Every conflict between a child and a peer is an opportunity for growth. Through each conflict, children can learn rules, learn to respect, understand the bottom lines and boundaries of behavior in interpersonal communication, and empathize.
I hope that every parent can correctly face the conflict between their children and help their children grow.