Wen | Cheats Jun
Regarding marriage, there is a little joking saying: the so-called marriage is nothing more than that you and he are tired of each other, eager to buy a qiang after the quarrel, but after returning, they just brought a handful of dishes.
There is also a saying that even a happiest marriage will have 200 divorce thoughts.
After the sweet wedding date, after experiencing all kinds of trivial things such as chai rice oil and salt in life, and quarrels with babies, all that remains is boredom and quarrels, and the idea of divorce will quietly emerge.
Away or not? That's a problem.
Backstage, more than one mom confided in me, asking if I should let go of my marriage. A few words could not be fully understood, so I wanted to write an article on this kind of problem.
If your marriage is in crisis and you want to give up but are hesitant, ask yourself two questions. Write down your thoughts and thoughts on paper, combine the answers to these two questions, and think quietly, I believe that it will make you suddenly enlightened.
◆ Is the other party really not saved?
The criterion for judging "whether there is salvation or not" is: Has the other party's behavior touched your bottom line?
Maybe you don't know your bottom line, so think about what you can't stand the most.
I'll give two examples, domestic violence and infidelity.
Let's start with domestic violence. Domestic violence is only zero times and countless times. Don't expect a domestic abusive partner to genuinely change, it's almost impossible.
If someone is unfortunate enough to encounter domestic violence, they must firmly believe in the idea of "leaving". Weigh yourself up and leave.
The second is derailment. People who cheat are not without remorse, but it depends on whether they can accept it. After all, his behavior has greatly undermined your trust in him, like a mirror with a crack, and the person who looks in the mirror cannot ignore the existence of the crack.
In addition to the principle issue, if a person has the idea of divorce because of various discord and unpleasantness in daily interaction, such as feeling that the other party is lazy, unmotivated, and has low emotional intelligence, then it is necessary to think twice.
Because psychologically speaking, whoever has lived with him is actually with himself. What does that mean?
Marriage is actually two people getting along. How two people get along determines the quality and longevity of the marriage.
If a person in the marriage has a stable mentality, can catch the negative emotions thrown by the other party, and accepts the transformation, then the family will go through the stormy waves and become more stable.
◆ After the divorce, will my situation be worse or better?
A friend wants to get a divorce because he feels that his husband is not responsible for the family, does not come back from work to see the children and does not communicate, only plays mobile phone games. Everything in the family needs to be maintained by oneself. She felt exhausted, so she thought of divorce.
I was worried and asked, "What do you live on after the divorce?" She was silent.
In order to bring two children, she has been at home full-time for six years and has reached the age of thirty.
It's not that stay-at-home mothers can't get a divorce, but they will immediately face the most realistic question after divorce: what do they rely on for a living?
Divorcing blindly without considering the prospects can plunge yourself into a vicious circle of panic and isolation.
Even if you really can't stand to want to leave, at least you must first estimate your economic ability. If it is not enough for the time being, lie dormant first, and wait until you have enough accumulation to ensure that you can live well after leaving.
Senior nursery, psychological counselor. Understand the parenting and psychology, but also pay attention to the self-growth and family management of baoma, and strive to be the intimate person of mothers.
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