Author | Teacher Xu
01
Ask parents what one thing they have to do every day:
Nothing more than picking up your child from school.
And picking up and dropping off children seems to have become a manifestation of love, otherwise it is an irresponsible parent.
I used to be dismissive of picking up my kids from school; relatives and friends stressed the importance of picking up kids from school over and over again, and I always dismissed them.
Thinking that it is a big deal to call a few relatives, it is also a matter of "sprinkling water" to help pick up and drop off children.
My daughter was in the first grade of elementary school, and suddenly one day the child's homeroom teacher called me and said:
The child has been in a somewhat depressed mood recently, and once school is over, he no longer communicates with his classmates, and sits silently in his seat reading a book.
Hopefully, you can take this issue seriously and take the time to pick up the child early.
I just faced this problem squarely, no matter how busy I was, I waited at the school gate early.
As soon as you open the door, rush in, lie down on the window and see what the child is doing in the classroom? Didn't you have a great time? Pick up your child as early as possible.
Sure enough, the child's frustration disappeared, and his personality was much more cheerful and became more confident.
It was also from this time that I found that picking up my children early or late from school was a very relevant topic.
As you wait outside the class door, you will find that every child is looking forward to seeing their parents.
If he sees us, the child's heart is excited, "You see, Daddy/Mommy is picking me up again today!" ”
The early appearance of parents is attention and love for children.
Whoever picks up and drops off her children to and from school will kiss whomever she wants, and whoever takes her the most will follow whomever she wants.
Parental attention and love can create a healthy and balanced mind in children.
In this case, the child can feel self-esteem and self-love from the parents.
A high sense of worth gives them self-confidence and can cultivate their positive and optimistic personality.
02
Without this true exchange of love, even children who grow up in honeypots will not have a deep enough sense of emotion, affecting their learning and character formation.
The psychology of children is like this, afraid that parents will not want them.
Previously, in "First Grade Elementary School Season", because her mother was too busy at work and often worked overtime, Lu Yulin was the last one to be picked up.
She first helped the teacher clean the classroom, sorted out the small bench, and silently watched the children come home one after another.
And she always had to pretend to be strong and patient.
This adds some melancholy to the optimistic and lively girl;
The parents were slow to come, and she walked outside the classroom, carrying a small bench and holding her school bag.
Waited until Grandpa arrived before he suddenly broke down and cried, pitiful!
Because she has long witnessed the classmates being happily picked up one by one, and she is always the last to be picked up;
Or a long wait, which has invisibly given the child a label
You are a child who is not valued by your parents.
She will breed a feeling of abandonment within her, and that feeling of loneliness and helplessness will cause the child's character to defect.
Some foreign experts said:
The children in a class who are often picked up first have higher levels of self-confidence than other children;
Children who are often picked up last are more introverted and do not like to talk, and even have some depression and inferiority.
But also note that if the child is the first to be picked up every time, it is often more vanity.
A sense of belonging and security is an important psychological need of every child, and only when this need is met can a child achieve self-realization.
After all, it is the parents who play a major role in the growth of children.
A child's attachment, trust, and identification with us is the best reward for hard work.
Therefore, no matter how tired and busy the work is, whether it is early or late, parents must grasp a "degree".
Ask parents to pick up their children themselves at least twice a week and not to be left last or first very often.
In particular, parents who have children in kindergarten and elementary school at home have paid attention.
If the child is usually picked up by the elderly, it is best for parents to notify in advance, or to tell the child before going out in the morning, "Today the mother has an emergency, and the grandfather will pick you up." ”
If you can, spend more time with your children when they are young.
After a few years, you will find that there will be a clear difference between raising children with heart and child without heart, especially in terms of parent-child relationship.
03
Receiving your child is only the first step, and how to spend time on the way home with your child is the most important thing.
Although the time on the way home is short, the communication effect between parents and children is very powerful.
The amount of information exchanged in tens of minutes may even exceed the effect of family companionship for a day.
It should be known that what parents say reflects the attitude of adults to life, and determines the direction of children's emotions and outlook on life.
I recommend asking more positive questions, as a pleasant atmosphere can guide children to express their inner thoughts. Like what:
Is there anything good happening in school?
What are the good takeaways today and what interesting things are happening?
Is there anything you can't solve that you need your parents to help?
What good performance did you have today?
What do you think is particularly interesting today?
Usually pay close attention to the child's emotional changes,
Or an anomaly like a sudden reluctance to go to school,
These need to be paid attention to and further understood by parents.
Picking up children is the daily routine of each parent, and it is also the accumulation of children's personality formation.
So every day I would walk faster on the way to pick up my child from school and not let my child be the last child to be picked up.
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