"You're a sister, and you want to let your brother?"
When two children are fighting and fighting, will adults blurt out such words?
01
The combination of sister and brother is the most ideal two-child model in the minds of many parents, because the sister can take care of the younger brother, when she was a child, she counted on her sister to let her eat and wear, and when she grew up, she counted on her sister to give money and things.
But what about the sister?
A little girl who watched "The Boy Says" complained about her grandmother: the little girl said that she had a little brother, she liked her brother very much, but since her brother was born, the most common sentence she heard was what her grandmother said to her, brother is still young, you should let him. Even if the younger brother snatches the little girl's snacks and toys, he must let him, because the younger brother is younger than her.
Even once, the younger brother bit her shoulder for no reason, and when the little girl taught her brother not to do this next time, Grandma still said that she wanted to let her brother. The little girl wanted to ask, why did she let her brother go? In the face of the little girl's rebuke, Grandma said that her brother was too young to have a sense of protecting himself, so he needed you to let her.
Grandma's answer did not satisfy the little girl, and then she said that she was also a child, and she also needed the care of others, and should not put all her love on her brother. When it came to the most excited, the little girl even left tears in her eyes.
She should have been a little princess who was loved by her parents, but because of the arrival of her brother, she was ignored and even had a psychological shadow in the contradiction.
We all want our children to be good children who know how to be humble, but the reason for humility should not come from the moral repression of "because you are old, you should give in."
After all, things are distinguished by right and wrong, not by age.
The elders blindly expect the sister to let the younger brother, not only so that the younger brother has dependence on the sister and parents, it is easier to make the sister feel uneven, and the family affection is impossible to talk about.
Moreover, if adults have always emphasized "big let small", "let" children swallow their anger, "suffer" children feel that they deserve it. Over time, the "let" become timid and aggrieved, and dare not boldly defend their reasonable rights and interests when things go wrong; the "received" is constantly strengthened and encouraged by wrong behavior, becoming domineering and willful, unreasonable. I believe that no parent wants to see such a result.
02
Once an older sister confided in her: There is a younger brother in the family, my mother never lets my brother work, and all the housework is done by me.
I asked my mom, "Why doesn't my brother have to do housework?" Mom said, "Because my brother is still young, you are a sister." ”
Jokingly, I asked my mother, "If my brother comes out more than my husband, won't I have to do housework?" Mom said, "If Mr. Brother comes out, there won't be you." ”
This is the truth of many parents' preference for sons and daughters, and in their minds, sons are the most important.
The sister was only lucky enough to be born before her brother, otherwise she would not even be able to see the face of this world, so that the younger brother naturally deserved it.
Someone asked what impact would the education method of "the sister let the younger brother" have? The answer to the highest praise goes something like this:
I have a dear sister who is 9 years older than me. Every time our parents taught us, we would say to our sister, "Let our brother protect my brother." At the same time, he said to me, "Respect your sister and listen to your sister." ”
The answerer said that these two sentences have never been separated by parents, and they have been practicing them, which is also an important reason why the sisters and brothers have been intimate from childhood to adulthood.
In fact, the most taboo sentence of two children in the family is: "You are a sister (brother), you have to let your brother (sister)" because the two children are about the same age, blindly letting Dabao back down, will increase Dabao's dislike of erbao's emotions.
For example, an anonymous respondent said: "When my mother said this when I was a child, the next time I beat my brother, it will be heavier." Doesn't that sound shocking?
The sister who grew up in such an environment will hate the eccentricity of her parents, stay away from the world alone, and even after getting married and starting a family, she will not be able to get happiness, and she will not be able to walk out in the pain of childhood.
The sister who should have received the same care from her parents, just because she had a younger brother, she was arbitrarily asked by her parents to take on too many responsibilities that they could not afford, and the harm to the sister was really great.
03
Fortunately, the concept of the younger generation of parents is also updating, knowing that although the sister is older, she also needs the love of her parents, such as Tian Liang and Ye Yiqian's approach is commendable.
Tian Liang once said in the show that the two sisters and brothers played together, and when the younger brother found that he had suffered a loss, he pretended to fall and fake crying.
Grandma and Grandma immediately questioned their sister Sen Di, and Sen Di said grievously: "It wasn't me who pushed it, it was he who fell down." ”
At this moment, Sen Di's heart must be sad, Tian Liang said to Sen Di: "You are Daddy's helper, you have to take your brother well, you two are a whole, to become partners, not the opposite of the competition for favors." ”
Tian Liang not only did not accuse Sen Di, but gave Sen Di the right to guide his brother, so that the sister would take care of his brother from the heart, and the relationship between the sisters and brothers would be better and better.
Tian Liang once posted a photo of Sen Di riding a toy car with his brother on Weibo, with the caption: When you grow up, when you grow tall, you must also stand in front of your sister and bravely protect her.
The older sister is older, but the older sister is a girl after all; the younger brother is younger, but the younger brother is a man. Parents teach younger brothers to learn to protect their sisters, which will inspire younger brothers to be brave and take responsibility.
After the full two-child policy is opened, it means that many girls will become sisters, and they who were originally the treasures of the whole family will face new problems of how to be sisters.
The sister and the younger brother are the two closest people in the world, and the biggest expectation of the parents is that the sister cares for the younger brother, and the younger brother protects the sister, which is the correct way to open the sister-brother combination family.
04
Parents should stop saying, "You're a sister, you should let your brother go!"
Because every time he said it, he left a scar on his sister's heart, and it was difficult to heal; so that the heart of the brother who should have loved his sister became natural and fearless.
Someone once said that having a second child is not because of wealth, nor because it must be a boy, but in this era of cold human affection and utilitarianism, leaving a relative for the child.
It is expected that every girl who is a sister can get more love from her parents, at least equal love, because their hearts are more sensitive and they are more eager for their parents' care.
*This WeChat public account is neutral to all original, reprinted, shared content, statements, and opinion judgments, push articles are for the reader's reference only, and the copyright of published articles, pictures, etc. belongs to the author. If some reprinted works and pictures have the author's source marked incorrectly or involve infringement, please remind the original author and contact the editor to delete it.
Good-looking people will click on Watch and Like Oh