The famous writer Gorky once said: "The child's soul is unstained, and the growth tempered by life is obviously stained by this kind of dust in the depths of the soul." ”
When we describe a child, we often use words such as "innocence" and "innocence and kindness", they are like a white and flawless piece of paper.
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However, there is also a type of child, they are born cool and thin from an early age, completely unlike the child's mind, if parents find out, or need timely intervention, to help children adjust their mentality in time, so that they grow up healthy and happy.
The following manifestations indicate that the child may be cold and thin by nature
1. Personality is cold and lonely
Studies have found that some people are cold by nature, often closely related to the lack of effective links in the anterior region of the brain.
Therefore, their emotional background is often indifferent, not like ordinary children like to make a big fuss, emotional fluctuations are very small, in the crowd seems to be exceptionally quiet.
Parents can clearly feel that the child's personality is more depressed, and extremely rational, and maintains a disregard for everything, as if it is not worth their time to care.
For example, before the Internet, some people posted that their relatives' children behaved differently from children of the same age from childhood, she was quiet, not close to anyone, even with her parents always kept a distance, her mother was sick, she was cold on the side, friends were injured, she said that others blamed themselves, the loss of animals that had been raised for a long time, and she did not show any sad emotions.
This kind of personality that is born cold and lonely may indicate that the child has a natural cool and thin tendency, and parents usually pay more attention to observation.
2, the feelings are weak, not close to human feelings
According to the analysis of psychologists, "people with a cold nature have difficulty in establishing intimate emotional connections with others." ”
In fact, this behavior has a professional term to describe, called "emotional apathy", which belongs to the category of psychological disease.
It was first discovered that in the United States colleges and universities, there is a group of teenagers carrying heavy learning pressure, long-term external pressure stimulation, causing them to isolate their emotions to a certain extent, slowly become indifferent and unkind, and later Japan and other countries have also appeared a lot of this situation.
If parents find that their children have relatively weak feelings, it is difficult to get close to themselves, and there are no friends around, it is difficult to enter anyone's heart, and they always maintain a cold and alienating attitude, then it may be cold and thin by nature.
The above two manifestations, one of the children, parents should be vigilant.
The following types of families need to be paid attention to
Education experts remind that children with cold congenital personalities and indifferent feelings actually account for a minority, many of which are due to improper education by their parents, resulting in this situation in children.
The following two types of families need to be extra vigilant, and it is easier to raise cool children:
1. Families who dot on their children too much
Nowadays, the material conditions of families have been improved, and the proportion of only children is relatively large, and many parents may be more doting on their children in material or life, but this care model will greatly harm them.
Previously, there was an adult man in Shanghai who beat his mother violently in the street because he could not ask for money from his mother.
Similar things abound, and the main reason behind these "tragic" events is mostly due to the doting of parents.
The educator Makarenko said: "Give everything to the child, sacrifice everything for him, even sacrifice your own happiness." This is the most terrible gift a parent can give to their child. ”
Many Chinese-style parents think that helping their children take care of everything, and what they want is "love", but it is like a "knife" that has been quenched with poison, so that children habitually demand, rely too much, think that their parents' efforts are taken for granted, and will become selfish and indifferent in the future, cold and ruthless.
2, too much neglect of children's families
"Your repeated disregard and indifference are preparing for raising a cool child."
We all know the drawbacks of doting, but ignoring emotional non-responses can also be very easy to hit the child.
In our real life, there are many parents who are either selfish and very utilitarian in their love for their children, or they are radically suffocating, often insulting or coldly violent children.
How can a child who grows up in such a native family be mentally healthy?
Born as a human being, we all have the nature of "seeking benefits and avoiding harm", once we are subjected to too many setbacks and blows, beyond the ability to digest ourselves, we will selectively avoid or forget, although it looks normal on the surface, in fact, the heart has long been full of holes.
Children who lack love from an early age often find it difficult to establish intimate relationships with others, and this kind of injury in childhood may often be difficult to heal for a lifetime.
How do parents intervene?
Someone said, "Three years old sees big, seven years old sees old." Literally, it means that from the appearance of a person when he is three years old, you can see what he looks like when he grows up, and when he is seven years old, he can see what he looks like when he is old.
Analyzing this sentence from a professional point of view, it actually summarizes the general law of the development of the psychological personality of the entire child, and also warns parents: pay attention to the child's behavior and personality tendencies from an early age, and if it is found that it is not right to intervene in time, so as not to be stereotyped in the future.
1, children develop a good character, need the love of parents to nourish
If parents find that their children have relatively cool personalities, first reflect on whether their usual education is appropriate and whether they often ignore their feelings.
We can also find that in real life, many children with good personalities, often the family is more harmonious, loved by their parents, their hearts will be more abundant.
2. Set an example for your child
Review whether you have played an exemplary role, in fact, the child's attitude to many things is often deeply influenced by the parents, if you treat others with an indifferent attitude of not caring about yourself, how can you expect your children to be empathetic.