11 to 12 years old: naïve, changeable, insecure
"Who likes me?" stage
The focus of adolescent life: making people acceptable
During this period, children's lives begin to change, and their friends, hobbies, emotions, and even voices change. Knowing that someone is around to help them makes it easier for children to cope with these changes.
mentally
1. Likes to learn new skills and likes challenging things.
2. Gradually understand abstract concepts such as justice and fairness.
3. Begin to have the ability to see the world from a different perspective.
4. Make an effort to find motivations for other people's actions.
5. Rapid brain development may lead to forgetfulness (a new round of forgetting homework has begun again)
Interpersonally
1. Debate often, but arguments are mostly based on feelings, not logic.
2. Seek the approval and approval of peers.
3. Usually show the worst side of yourself at home.
4. If you have a close friend of the same sex, you will benefit them a lot.
5. Pay attention to the influence of adults other than parents.
6. Start to be interested in the opposite sex and will try intimate moves.
Emotionally
1. In order to fit in, often hide their true feelings.
2. It will be of great benefit to them to communicate their feelings with each other.
3. Hesitate to make a decision.
4. It's easier to lie than at any other stage.
5. It is possible to value sensory stimulation and despise the role of persistence and practice.
Key actions for parents
1. Grasp this time, the child at this stage still wants to be with you very much.
2. Plan adventures with your child and consider meaningful activity schedules together. (Think about it: unfulfilled wishes before a child's puberty)
3. Enjoy reading, watching movies, and listening to music with your child, which can trigger meaningful conversations between you and your children about life.
4. Talk to your child about adult life, talk about your biggest adventures and mistakes that they want to hear.
5. Discuss the topic of sex with your child and answer any questions they ask you seriously. If you don't, they'll ask the web.
12 to 14 years old: curious, irritable, unstable
"Who am I?" stage
The focus of adolescent life: self-seeking
At this time, the child enters a stage of self-discovery. Their interests and abilities may change, and, for the first time in their lives, they begin to fall out of tune with some people, and they begin to think about who they are and what they believe.
1. Be able to conduct self-assessment and self-criticism.
2. Be able to see both sides of the problem.
3. Ability to gather information to form opinions.
4. Be able to solve complex problems with many steps.
5. The ability to organize your thoughts is enhanced, but you may not be able to tidy up your room yet.
1. Often interested in popular culture, slang, or current events
2. Want to participate in the negotiation of rules and cross the border.
3. In some ways, it will show a developing, adult-like personality.
4. The need for adult influence other than parents.
5. Same-sex best friends will benefit them.
1. Like sarcastic, sophisticated jokes.
2. Often keen to lead others, like to teach younger children.
3. May appear and behave unexpectedly.
4. Tend to overschedule your time.
5. Benefit from emotional communication.
1. Encourage them and say something encouraging to them every day.
2. Drive them to where they want to go, and the opportunity to chat with the children in the car will soon disappear.
3. Make a set of rules with your child, a set of rules that are clear and approved by them, and will help you become an authority person who is impartial.
4. Keep an eye on their whereabouts on the premise of respect. Keep in touch with your digital device and your child, and spend time with them, but leave them some space.
5. Point out what makes them unique. If you don't help your child figure out who they are, others will take advantage of it.
15-16 years old: rebellious, adventurous, adventurous
"Why can't I" stage
The focus of adolescent life: the pursuit of freedom
At this stage, adolescents begin to doubt that life should be much more than what they see and experience. And, as their personal experiences increase, the more they question authoritative advice, even well-intentioned ones.
The role of adults: to help children establish values
At this age: they think like philosophers, therefore, ask children more questions
The pursuit of freedom is their act, so let them choose as much as possible
(1) Get help from other adults. Create opportunities for children to reach more adults who can help them establish the right values.
(2) Take the initiative. Even if your child pushes you away, fight for their trust. Write them cards; Send them a message; Unexpectedly, take them out to lunch. Make time to play happily with them.
(3) Consistent. Help your child establish clear rules, explain your expectations to your child, and the consequences of non-compliance, and always be consistent in words and deeds. Prevention is key.
(4) Talk about emotional issues. Whether or not they started falling in love, they definitely had a point about being in love. Give them the opportunity to talk to you about their view of love in a stress-free situation.
(5) Look for opportunities for adventure. Don't limit their experience, but rather try to find opportunities to encourage them to experience and expose them to challenging situations so that their potential can be unleashed.
(1) The ability to focus, recall, and organize information is gradually enhanced.
(2) Keen to talk about global issues and may condemn the practices of adults
(3) Being too concerned about oneself may think that "everyone is looking at me."
(4) Like adventures and sensational experiences.
(5) Strong curiosity, like to ask questions, interested in supernatural phenomena.
(1) You may become more "engaged" in relationships.
(2) Growing interest in sex (41% of people in the U.S. are reported to have sex)
(3) Increased sensitivity to dating violence and rape (16 years old)
(4) May be depressed, these years are the high incidence of suicide in adolescents.
(5) Desire for freedom, respect, responsibility, and conversations with adults who are willing to listen to their ideas.
(1) Choose to make them feel more confident than the rules.
(2) I care a lot about the specific praise that others have for me.
(3) Begin to become aware of your personal tendencies and behavior patterns.
(4) Need help from others to cope with extreme emotions.
(5) Thrill-seeking emotional experiences.
(6) It is easy to be obsessed with self-harm, alcoholism, pornography, etc.
16-17 years old: innovative, idealistic, unrealistic
"How I Became Important" phase
Focus of Adolescent Life: Zoll is different
He is often interested in larger social causes and is eager to contribute to them.
The role of adults: to help children develop talents
(1) Identify the child's unique talents and personality characteristics, and stimulate the child's potential.
(2) Involve other adults as well. Invite some trustworthy adults to help you discover your child's unique talents and personality traits.
(3) When you notice negative behavior in your child, tell them, "What you are doing now is not like yourself." Discourage children from negative behavior by pointing out that their behavior violates their own values.
(4) Don't stifle their dreams, even if the child's idea seems unrealistic, parents should understand that they are pursuing their dreams.
(5) Parenting responsibilities have changed, understand that your role has changed from air traffic controller to coach.
The pursuit of freedom is the motivation for their actions, so let them choose as much as possible
(1) Be able to have a keen insight into some complex issues.
(2) Enjoy adventurous and sensational experiences.
(3) There is a tendency to speculate and idealize.
(4) It is difficult to make long-term plans.
(5) The intellect is constantly evolving, and can understand plausible, exaggerated, insinuated, and satirical ways of speaking.
(1) You may become more "engaged" in your relationship.
(2) Growing interest in sex (54% of people in the U.S. are reported to have sex)
(3) Concern for issues such as control, responsibility, and freedom (whether personal or global)
(5) Tend to be self-centered, busy all day and not see people.
(1) See humor as the side of positive communication.
(2) The question of "who am I" is no longer as tangled as it used to be, and may become more honest than in previous stages.
(3) Often overestimate their own abilities.
(4) It may be difficult to adjust and control your emotions.
17-18 years old: focus on the future, proactive,
Fear of the future
"What will you do in the future?" stage
The focus of adolescent life: graduation
Beginning to get tired of high school life, they generally show no interest in school-related activities. Instead, I was curious about life after high school. While looking forward to the future, they are also anxious, not knowing what their future will look like.
The role of adults: focus on their choices
(1) Calm your child down and tell them that you don't need to figure out the whole life right now.
(2) Pay attention to the child's "toddler".
(3) Discuss career interests with your child. Help them investigate and test these interests.
(4) Don't rush to help your child get out of trouble. Allowing them to learn on their own how to deal with difficult situations and how to correct mistakes they have made will prepare them for the future.
(5) Children are about to enjoy unprecedented freedom, so find a suitable time to hand over that freedom and let them learn to make their own decisions. However, continue to give advice to them on aspects that they have struggled with on their own.
(1) It may be too romantic or alarmist, and the situation is taken too seriously.
(2) Sensitive to current affairs and social issues.
(3) Be able to solve the problem of complex situations and many steps.
(1) Growing interest in sex
(2) There is very little time to stay at home.
(3) In terms of personal decisions, I want to make my own decisions.
(4) Be able to respect the opinions of others and be able to compromise.
(5) When you stay with adults, you feel more comfortable.
(1) Become more emotionally stable, but still need the support and care of parents.
(2) Usually do well in a particular area of interest.
(3) Value being honest with yourself.
(4) In terms of personal interests, there are often creative ideas.