"There are others besides yourself!"
Most people misunderstand this sentence! See if you misunderstand?
When people listen to others, they hear wrongly, but they don't know it himself. Sometimes, because of the different positions occupied, the listener captures different meanings, and that meaning is not the original intention or true intention that the speaker wants to express. Sometimes it's because of human nature. Psychologists have studied it, come up with a law, named it, and become a certain theory. For example, the "yellow elephant effect".
Now, please close your eyes, don't think about the yellow elephant, listen well, pay attention, don't think about the yellow elephant. Don't even think about a yellow elephant, let alone think about the herds of elephants running across the African savannah. Don't think about it, don't think about it! (Note that it's all negative sentences.) ）
Well, please open your eyes, what have you been thinking?
You'll tell me that all you have in mind is a yellow elephant.
This experiment tells us that our subconscious mind does not have the function of filtering information. The listener will not hesitate to accept all images without considering whether they are real or not. The information we hear from others enters our brains in the form of images. The more you tell you not to think about it, the more you think about it.
I suddenly thought that when I usually give lessons to students, I should tell students more about the correct practices, do not emphasize the wrong practices, and tell him not to do this, this is not right. For example, when a word is written, I usually only write the correct one on the blackboard, telling students to remember that it is written in this way. When I listen to the class, I often find that some teachers have written the correct words on the blackboard, often next to the correct word, and then list several common errors in writing, and use the blackboard to rub the blackboard, saying over and over again: "Don't write like this, don't write like this, some students always write like this." The result of this emphasis is that in that class, the emphasis is prominent; at the time of the exam, there are many students who write that word incorrectly, and the students' mistakes are the typical typos listed by the teacher on the blackboard.
So the teacher got angry again. "Teach you not to write like this, not to write like this, you just write like this. I have stressed, why can't you remember? The teacher conveniently wrote the wrong way on the blackboard again. Oh my goodness, he intensified again. You don't emphasize that it's okay, and the more you emphasize it, the worse it gets.
This teacher must not have known about the "yellow elephant effect." I don't know that either, but I do know the theory. By reading the American writer Spencer Johnson's "Give Yourself a Minute", I learned this term, was particularly impressed, and produced many associations, so I had an article.
Let's go back and look at the education given to us by our parents or teachers: O child, you must never forget that there are other people besides yourself. Our elders just want us to keep in mind and never forget to think about other people. What most of us hear is "other people", "other people", "other people"! Just like don't make you think about the yellow elephant, it's the yellow elephant that comes to mind. We put others in front of ourselves, practicing "putting others before ourselves", practicing today, practicing tomorrow, and practicing the day after tomorrow... Think more about everything for others and less about yourself. Do housework first and then wash your hair, first do the public, then do your own.
In fact, there is nothing wrong with the teachings of our parents and teachers, and we are not wrong. It is only because of the "yellow elephant effect" that when we listen to others, we subconsciously go against the original wishes of our parents and teachers - "except yourself", and if you look closely at that sentence, they put "yourself" in front of "other people".
Therefore, a person still has to pay attention to himself. Take the time to do little things for yourself, wash your hair, grease yourself, dress yourself up, change into neat clothes, buy some of your favorite snacks, and more. You're busy all day at work, busy with housework, so busy, so busy with your feet, so busy that when you stop, even for a minute, and do a little thing for yourself, you feel very happy, happier than busy with many other things.
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