The netizen letter said:
My husband and I are college classmates and couples, because my husband's hometown is in the countryside, my hometown is in the provincial capital city, so after we graduated from college, we came together to the city where I grew up to develop a career, during which we were recruited to work in different private companies, and our monthly income was in the middle of the living city.
Because I am an only child, the house we lived in after we got married was also bought by my parents in advance, and my husband is more grateful for this.
The funny thing is that when we came to the 6th year of our married life, my husband had an office affair with a girl in his unit who was 5 years younger than him, and the key was that the little girl had a boyfriend while interacting with my husband. In the end, the little girl's boyfriend discovered the misconduct of the little girl and my husband and got into trouble with the husband's company, resulting in a very bad impact on the matter, and the husband was fired from his company because of this matter, so that I also knew about the matter.
In this case, I filed for divorce from my husband, and my reason for divorce: the person with the heart, one is different.
Before my husband got involved in an extramarital affair, I didn't feel that I belonged to the upside down in this relationship, and my state of mind at that time was that since two people were in love, it didn't matter who paid a little more in married life, but after my husband cheated on me, my mentality changed, I would feel that I and my parents were so good to my husband, but he did something to hurt me, and I would feel that my efforts over the years were not worth it at all.
After the incident, my husband naturally did not want to divorce me, and during the period, I also considered the growth of our children, but I could not forgive. After months of entanglement, we went through divorce procedures. After that, my husband returned to the city where we went to school to work, and my children and I needed to start a new life.
After experiencing the failure of marriage, I suddenly felt that life was not too much running, and now the whole person is particularly depressed.
Muzi Li emotional analysis:
When two people are more intimate, it is natural not to calculate who pays more in this relationship and who pays less in this relationship. When the feelings are good, everyone has only one belief, and through hard work, we can make family life happier. However, when there is a contradiction between husband and wife, they will think wildly in a pessimistic state, at this time, about their own efforts in this relationship, grievances will all flash in the mind, which is easy to lead to psychological imbalance.
In fact, everyone will have this instinctive reaction when encountering things: when making a decision, they will consider their vested interests. It means that after you learned that your husband was cheating, the decision about whether to divorce or not also had too many swings in your mind. The result you end up giving is: divorce. Also believe that this will be a decision you will not regret. One detail: You feel that you are particularly depressed right now. Regarding this emotion, my understanding is: 1) although the divorce is brought up by you, after all, you and your husband have so many years of emotional foundation, and you have lived together for so many years, so when he withdraws from your life, you will definitely be sad and sad; 2) Perhaps in the cognition of many people, divorce is not strange, but for the parties, it is still a heartache and humiliating thing, the key is that your husband's cheating is a little big in their unit, so, You may find it a little difficult to digest this, and even feel that when you walk, someone will point fingers behind your back; 3) Although you don't have the heart to find a remarried partner for the time being, the life of going to work and having children is enough for you to be tired, so that you will feel that your life after divorce is a mess.
However, you also need to understand things: 1) all suffering will slowly fade in the passage of time; 2) you are now your child's greatest spiritual support, and you should also regard your child as your spiritual pillar; 3) When you really can't carry it, take your child to your parents' house for a few days, believing that under the care of your parents, your mood will gradually improve.
Some men will feel that extramarital affairs are just mistakes that men will make, and feel that the post-cheating period should be forgiven by their lovers, but ignore a cruel truth: you use cheating to tear up all her beautiful imagination of married life, you use cheating behavior to make her the object of shame and criticism of relatives and friends, you use cheating behavior to tear up her most basic trust between people, you use cheating behavior to make her full of prejudice against the opposite sex in the world, you use cheating behavior to make her cognition of marriage full of negative energy, You took her half a life by cheating. You know, during your love affair, you swore that you would love her for the rest of your life, just because you couldn't stand the lonely taste, or because you didn't refuse the temptation with low self-control, you let her be miserable for a long time in the future, and you want to ask, Aren't you an invisible killer?
Regarding extramarital affairs, some people can forgive and continue the relationship after being hurt; others will choose to divorce if they can't convince themselves to forgive. If you finally choose divorce, you also need to constantly warn yourself in your heart: love is not a good person, willing to gamble and lose.
Remember, although divorce is your passive choice, it is also your choice to follow your heart, so you must now admit the reality of divorce and let yourself out of the shadow of divorce as soon as possible, only in this way will you live out as soon as possible.
It is still a cliché: it is a very rare fate for two people to meet, meet, fall in love and get married in thousands of people. So after getting married, you must use a sincere attitude to manage the relationship. If the marriage collapses because of the lack of cherishing of each other or one of them, it is actually a very regrettable thing.
Editor's Note:
I believe that everyone wants to be treated gently in life, but more often than not, we forget about "giving". I want to ask these people who only know how to take, do not know how to give: how do you understand the fact that others are good to you, do you feel that everyone around you owes you, and in the case that you are not willing to give, you have not gotten too much at the same time, but you are not happy?
People are originally living in a network of relationships, and sometimes some of their misdeeds will not only hurt themselves, but also affect the people around them. Therefore, being a person should not be too selfish, and it is not necessary to follow your own nature in everything, but to become a law-abiding and rule-abiding person. Especially adults, when doing something, think more about what kind of consequences they will bear for their actions, rather than frequently staging self-control.
(Picture from the network, graphics and text have nothing to do)