1, the class teacher was accidentally hit by a Maserati, lost more than 2 million, and then the class teacher resigned to take 2 million to do business. And then there was a new teacher in our class.

1, the class teacher was accidentally hit by a Maserati, lost more than 2 million, and then the class teacher resigned and took 2 million to do business. Then a new teacher came to our class and asked each of us to write a personal introduction. After the teacher saw what we wrote, he stood on the podium and asked: What is the most important thing for people? It's honesty, right? The students answered: Yes. Then, the teacher said: Well, now please write in the self-introduction that you can crush the big stone in the chest of the students to perform on the stage, and ask the students who step on the light bulb to prepare !!!

2. On the rest day, the brother-in-law visited the mall and met his ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend at the door. Then, out of courtesy, the brother-in-law came forward and said hello. The boyfriend nodded gracefully, and the ex-girlfriend smiled gracefully. After buying something, the brother-in-law came out of the mall, and the front and rear wheels of the brother-in-law's battery car were deflated...

3. After working in Futukang for a month, I just paid my salary and bought the latest Apple mobile phone for my mother. Mom's surname is not good, I also downloaded a daily cool run for her, and my mother was addicted to playing. Always playing and shouting, as if he was about to fall to his death at any moment. At the end of the round, she breathed a sigh of relief, turned to her grandfather who was watching TV and said, "Dad, I will teach you to play this, Special Magnetic Pole!" Grandpa turned his head and said to his mother solemnly, "I can't play, my throat can't!" ”

4. Today is the 20th anniversary of her girlfriend and her husband. In the evening, the girlfriend asked her husband: "Do you remember when we patted the drag?" You said that if I married you, even if I wanted the moon in the sky, you would give it to me. Now that I'm married to you, you've promised to pick the moon for me. Her husband looked out the window and said, "Now is not a matter of picking or not picking." The problem is that you don't give it out at night, why don't you pick the moon for you? ”?

5, I Alipay flower shell of the vicious increased to 30,000 yuan, the mood is good, after work please send a small to skewers to drink. The two of us were eating happily, and the two dogs next to us were frantically fighting. The two dogs came over to our small table while fighting and overturned two empty tables. Seeing that we were about to come to our table, Fa Xiao and I immediately got up and avoided it. As a result, unexpectedly, the two dog things came to the table and suddenly stopped fighting, grabbed a bunch of strings and ran!

6, the old sister is fat, can not marry out is because of fat, so the elder sister vowed to lose weight, find a male god to marry out. I said mockingly: As far as your weight loss is concerned, my ears are out of the cocoon, which time have you insisted on it for a week? Hey, don't you say, this time it really works, don't eat dinner. If it wasn't for the overtime work yesterday until 1 a.m. to come home and see my sister lying on the sofa nibbling on pig's trotters, I would have believed it when the garbage can still had a dozen bags!

7. My sister has recently been obsessed with yoga and has come to my house today to show off. My sister said, "I'm sitting there now with my legs straight enough to eat my own toes!" Me: "Since I gave birth to a child, my waist is not good, bending hurts a little!" My son sat on the ground and made a yoga gesture to my sister and said, "Look, I can too, but I don't like to eat toes!" ”?

8. At night, I asked my sister who had a crush for a long time to go for a walk. Suddenly, masked three gangsters rushed out and asked us to hand over the money. Fortunately, I practiced kung fu and knocked them over with a few punches. When they got back to the dormitory, all three of my friends were lying on the bed humming and saying, "Didn't you say you wouldn't nod your head?" You've been ruthless. ”?

9, spent 150,000 to buy a second-hand Volkswagen Phaeton, did not expect to be a water soaking car, there are many problems, put in the repair shop to repair. Without a car, I had to take the bus out, there were a lot of people on the bus, and a big mother had some motion sickness and opened the window a little! As a result, a big aunt in the back said fiercely: I can't blow the wind "bang", so I closed the window again! Then the aunt who opened the window earlier gave her a blank look and said: Are you an ash, and you will scatter as soon as you blow it?

10, the girl in love and the married girl's understanding of love is different. Girls in love are in a period of ignorance, and their understanding of love is: "Honey, I want this, I want that, I want all of this..." Married girls have seen through the world and they are open-minded. Therefore, the understanding of love is like this: "Husband, why did you buy me such expensive things?" Did you do something to be sorry for me? ”

11, the sister-in-law only from marriage at home like a Lafayette-like existence, what work is not to stay. On this day, I went to his house to play, and the guest sister-in-law came to the house to cook in the kitchen in order to show a hand. I went to the kitchen and saw that there was still the leftover meal from the previous night in the pot. The brother-in-law saw it and whispered: Look how considerate I am, every time I cook, don't forget to leave a little in the pot for you! The sister-in-law was angry, grabbed her brother-in-law's ear and said: Is this the reason why you don't shabu?

12. The neighbor Xiao Wang is a very kind girl, her parents died early and lived alone. This morning, Xiao Wang rode an electric car to the wet market to buy a large basket of sweet potatoes, which were very good and brought dirt. However, the soil was a little too much, and Xiao Wang carefully collected all the dirt, and there was even a quarter of a basket. So, she returned to the market, returned the soil to the merchants, and said, "I only bought your sweet potatoes, not your soil, and these soils are far more precious than those sweet potatoes, if you even sell this, to your children and grandchildren, there will be no sweet potatoes to sell!" ”?

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