1, with the two sisters to share a room, share a bathroom, each bath is their first washing, when it is my turn there is no hot water. So I talked to them, and they said there was a way to have the best of both worlds, Jean

1, with the two sisters to share a room, share a bathroom, each bath is their first washing, when it is my turn there is no hot water. So I talked to them, and they said that there was a way to get the best of both worlds, and let me rub their backs, which saved water and at the same time washed the bath. It's really a good idea, but after washing a few times, I found that rubbing my back is really not an easy job. Forget it ~ I'm a big man, use cold water to use cold water, at least not so tired...

2. On the weekend, I went to the vegetable market to buy some green vegetables for a total of 8 yuan, and I gave the uncle who sold vegetables 10 yuan. The uncle searched for his wallet and did not find 2 yuan. He took out a box of cigarettes and took out one himself, then handed the whole box of cigarettes to me and said: There is no change, my wife will not let me smoke, this half box will be given to you to find change! I simply felt a little hearty and told the uncle loudly: Forget it, don't do it! The uncle asked me again and again: Why? I said: I still have to buy a lighter for half a box of cigarettes, and it will be even more wrong to go home!

3, the son likes the bald head in the cartoon, does not like two bears. It was snowing today, and my son said, "On this snowy day, I don't know if Bald Qiang has received sauerkraut from his mother?" Did you buy a ticket home? Did Boss Lee's current salary give him? Suddenly, I was worried about him! I said to my son, "Baby, you should still care more about the people around you, such as your father and me." ”?

4. More than a year after my brother died, my sister-in-law suddenly became pregnant. In order not to let the villagers gossip, after the sister-in-law gave birth to the child, she asked us to raise it. Now the little guy is 5 years old and lies on the window at night and doesn't sleep. I asked: Why haven't you slept yet? He said, "I can't sleep, so sing me a lullaby." As soon as I sang, the little guy waved his hand: Forget it, you still tell me a story. My little temper immediately came up, and then I beat him up!

5, today I don't know how, has been hiccups, just a person went downstairs to eat dinner in a fast food restaurant, across from a man sitting five big three thick, I burped while eating, suddenly, sitting opposite me the man slammed the table, glared at me, I was shocked, thinking that I did not rob his girlfriend ah? After looking at each other for ten seconds, I broke out in a cold sweat, and I was definitely not his opponent in the fight! One arm is thicker than both of our arms! And then the big brother said, hiccup okay, right?

6. In a Chinese class, Xiao Zhang was sleeping, the teacher suddenly named him to stand up, and asked him to create a question sentence, Xiao Zhang was unclear, so he asked: "Teacher, are you asking me?" Teacher: "Yes, recreate a statement sentence." Xiao Zhang: "Please say it again." Teacher: "Very good, let's create another exclamation sentence." Xiao Zhang lowered his head and whispered, "It's too hard!" I won't! The teacher nodded, "Very good, sit down!" ”??

7, newly bought an Apple 12, downloaded a brother a mobile phone software is "dating software", and then from the above to know a strong woman from a foreign company. After work last night, I asked her out for dinner. The two of us had a good conversation when a little boy came running over. He walked up to me and pulled me and called Daddy. I sweated all down and was busy explaining: You believe me, this is not my child. The woman said calmly: I know, he is my son.

8, in the evening, I asked my crush's female colleague to go to the movie, after watching the movie, the two went for a walk by the river together, during which they wanted to hold her hand, but it was not meaningful, so they thought of a way, and after walking through a grassy place, I suddenly said: Look, there is a snake. I thought that when the female colleague heard that there was a snake, she would be frightened to hide in my arms, but I did not expect that the female colleague directly raised her foot, directly kicked me half a meter away, and then rolled up her sleeve and asked me: Where is the snake, I caught it back and stewed. I limped over to her and asked, "If you catch a snake, you hit a snake, why do you kick me?" The female colleague said awkwardly: I have learned martial arts since I was a child, which is an instinctive reaction. After listening to her, I immediately gave up thinking about her, and I think it is actually good to be a colleague.

9. My girlfriend stayed at school as a teacher after graduating from college. On the first day of class today, my girlfriend was stopped by a handsome guy on the way to the classroom, and he asked, "Are you a freshman?" After listening to the sneaking joy, the girlfriend thought that she was praising her youth: "How do you say that?" Handsome man: "Look at your skin!" The girlfriend was even happier after listening to it, thinking: I didn't expect my skin to be so good! She waved her hand and said, "Actually, I'm a junior." The handsome man groaned, "Looking at your skin, I thought you had just finished your military training." ”

10, the sister-in-law came out to find a job, lived in my house, introduced a few jobs, went to work for a few days, either tired, or felt that the salary was low, and finally she simply did nothing, and played games at home every day. And she didn't wash the dishes or mop the floor, and even her sister had to wash her clothes. I told my daughter-in-law not to be too accustomed to her, and my daughter-in-law said angrily: This is my own sister, I am better to her, I am willing to raise her. After I listened, I felt that my daughter-in-law was right, so I often bought some delicious snacks for my sister-in-law, always helped my sister-in-law to pick vegetables when eating, and sometimes took her out for a walk, and even her clothes I took the initiative to wash. The daughter-in-law couldn't look at it anymore, so I said with a straight face: This is your own sister, how can I be nice to her? Just when my daughter-in-law was working overtime, I led my sister-in-law to the cinema to watch "Hello, Li Huanying" The day after I took my sister-in-law away, my daughter-in-law drove her sister-in-law away. "

11. The brother sold the Volkswagen Passat, which had been operating for 10 years, for 170,000 yuan. After getting the money, my brother was very happy and invited me to Quanjude for dinner. At checkout, my brother wanted to make a joke with the beautiful waitress. He said: Broken, I didn't bring money out today. The waiter girl politely explained: It doesn't matter, we can swipe the card here. The brother said again: "But I didn't bring the card with me." The waiter girl thought about it and said: "Well, then you can brush the dishes with us!"

#Funny Moment# #年度搞笑名场面 #