It is said that the years are a pig killing knife, purple grapes, black fungus, soft bananas.
Time is a whetstone that flattens the peaks, leaves cucumbers, and mutilates chrysanthemums.
The experience was a mining plant, digging hills, losing drill bits, and blackening ditches.
Marriage was a gas stove with swollen pustules and rusty bayonets.
And after the washing of the years, the grinding of time, the bittersweet and bitter past of forty years, and the tempering of twenty years of marriage, we have unconsciously lived from the most envious spirit to the look that we all hate.
(1) Hating the mother never cared about face, receiving all the clothes and things sent by others, and with a grateful mentality.
Because when I was a child, my family was poor, there were many brothers and sisters, and my parents had no other income except to plan food in the field, so our family conditions were worse than others.
But because my mother is kind to people, relatives love to send us some clothes or things to use.
Mom was always grateful to others and then taught us to remember other people's kindness.
Once, the second uncle and mother came to my house with old clothes, walked to the village entrance, and the village chief's wife said to my mother sourly, "Oh, Ah Kai, your family is a disgrace?" There is no ability, the cubs wear other people's old clothes every day, and they don't have the ability to give birth to so many children..."
My mother didn't say anything and went into our house with my aunt.
It can be said that almost all the clothes of our brothers and sisters are the rest of the clothes worn by my uncles and cousins.
My mother didn't say anything, but I always felt very humiliated and faceless with what others gave me, and I was very unwilling in my heart.
(ii) Hatred of the mother's impatient educational attitude towards her child.
When I was a child, because there was not much difference between my brothers and sisters, I often fought and quarreled. Either you cry or he shouts.
The mother who came back from a tired day heard the crying and did not ask right or wrong, and all of them played fifty boards each. Then scold this to burn the fire, dominate the one to carry firewood, completely disregarding the children's wronged hearts.
At that time, I thought that when I became a mother in the future, I would definitely not indiscriminately and directly scold people, and I would understand the reasons and comfort the one who was wronged, and the one who criticized the responsibility.
(3) Do not get used to the way parents get along, and when encountering problems, it is always the beginning of communication to complain first.
Because the father does not speak much, the communication between the parents is almost always the mother nagging on the side, and the father does not say a word.
Once, I was eating, I don't know what happened, my mother was nagging again, complaining about my father, but my father didn't say a word, and my mother kept talking, and kept talking.
Finally, my father couldn't stand it, so he threw his rice bowl heavily on the ground and shouted: "You still let no one eat at the bottom, keep reading, keep reading, don't eat..." After saying that, he got up and left.
The smashed bowl shattered to the ground.
Most of the time the father responds with silence to the mother's nagging.
Mom's quarrel was like a stone hitting the cotton, and it came out with no response.
Then the mother can only keep complaining that the child has to pay for school, which marriage is going to give gifts tomorrow, which clothes are short, making new ones, and which grades are poor.
It's all frivolous things, nagging, and the work in hand has not stopped.
(iv) Do not understand why they keep working, while shouting that the body is uncomfortable here, there is pain, but it is dragging, not going to the hospital for examination.
Since our family is in the countryside, there are no doctors, only barefoot doctors, so if it is not really impossible to move, my parents are sick and endure, with the pain of the disease insist on working.
When I was nine years old, once, when my mother had just entered the house from the slope, she felt very uncomfortable, and her stomach kept hurting.
Unexpectedly, after only a few minutes, she vomited a large pool of blood, which scared me into crying on the spot, thinking that my mother was going to die, but she comforted me and said, "It's okay, where am I so easy to die?" ”。
The next day, he went uphill to work non-stop.
Because of this, my mother died of organ failure at the age of sixty-three!
At that time, I kept complaining, since she was sick, why not go to the hospital to heal her body and then go home, while working and crying out in pain, is this not contradictory?
(5) The habit of slamming doors that cannot be changed until old age.
My mother couldn't change her habit of using money to cut the door when she was old.
After my mother moved to the county town, the conditions were much better than before, but when using things, the rotten clothes were repaired and repaired, and what was said: "New three years, old three years, sewing and mending for another three years." ”
Toothpaste is used up and directly cut it open and then used.
The wood knife broke the front elbow and continued to use. The clothes bucket in the house is still the dowry of the mother when the two were married, an old object more than thirty years ago.
The clothes we wore were all the ones we wore and didn't fit at all.
All the items in the home were brought from the countryside, and if they broke, they continued to be repaired and continued to be used. Sometimes things are picked up outside, and the house is full of broken warehouses.
At that time, I was very disgusted with my mother's approach, and I repeatedly proposed to throw things away.
(6) The older the children, the more humble they will be.
In the countryside, because our family's labor force is studying, the people in the village are very unconvinced and are often oppressed by others.
Today the fields have been drained, tomorrow the vegetables in the fields have been ripped out, and the day after tomorrow, the trees in the mountains and forests have been cut down.
What is even more excessive is that people often accuse mulberries in the village because they are jealous of the eldest brother's work, and even take advantage of our lack of attention to blatantly take things from our homes
Both parents knew who did it, but my mother never went to find someone to theorize, and only asked us to study hard and get out of this place as soon as possible.
At that time, we always wanted to go to the village to explain the reasoning and react to the situation, and our parents always stopped us from going, and even scolded us for not understanding things.
I have never understood why my mother should be afraid of them, live so humblely, have reason not to dare to talk about it, and endure all injustice.
After attending college, I followed the same path as my mother, who only had an elementary school education.
After getting married, my husband and I had a low salary, but the family expenses were very large, so we have always been frugal.
Unlike colleagues around you, wear clothes, buy shoes, jewelry, think about what to buy? They often gave me unwanted bags and clothes, and I accepted them, and I was very grateful for their kindness.
I became my mother.
Although there is only one child, because he does not understand the method in education, he unconsciously uses the mother's education method.
Coupled with their own anxious thoughts, seeing that the child made a mistake, he did not think to ask the reason at all, nor did he have the patience to listen to the child's explanation, so he scolded out all kinds of foul language.
Even the words that came out were more mean and hurtful than the words our mother used to scold us.
Because my husband and I have been separated from each other for a long time, we are physically uncomfortable, tired from work, and we can only carry the grievances in our lives silently.
All the unpleasantness was not talked about, no one was comforted, and it had been piled up for a long time, like a powder keg, just waiting for the fuse.
When I met my husband, any small thing became a lead to detonate my powder keg, and all the resentment, anger and negative energy accumulated in my heart were vented to my husband.
Complain that he is not by my side, complain that he is not able to transfer us together, complain that he can't find big money, can't afford to live in a big house, complain that he can't afford to buy a good car, complain that he doesn't care about children, complain that he is looked down upon everywhere after marrying him.
With the husband, in addition to complaining is nagging, making the husband disgusted, the child disgusted, and he was also angry.
Due to long-term anger, only more than 40 years old, the body has one kind of problem. It's either acid here or pain there. It is also inconvenient to take leave for work, but I have been resisting not going to the hospital.
With the increase of age, the habit of slamming doors and the side of being preoccupied with money have appeared intentionally or unintentionally.
At home, be clear about where every penny of your child is going. And limit the child to this way is not allowed to buy, that is not allowed to eat.
And often in front of her to emphasize the hard work of earning money, to learn to save, to learn to compare with good, to use the money requirements and poor comparison, so that children shout unfair, saying that I am too double standard.
Things in the family can not be exchanged or lost, and I am very dissatisfied with the behavior of losing the child's things only once!
The house was replaced by things that had not been used for many years and piled up in a room. Every time the toothpaste runs out, learn to cut it open and use it again.
Because of age, because there is no backstage, there is no ability to make people inseparable.
Therefore, in the unit, always swallow the anger, scold the leader, ridicule the colleagues, the interests of the unjustified violation, dare to be angry and dare not speak.
Can only swallow the bitter water, tears into the stomach, humble words until retirement.
Just like when parents were bullied, they could only endure in silence.
Looking back on the way, I lived like my parents, but I didn't learn my mother's optimism, my father's open-mindedness, and only inherited their helplessness!
Dear netizens, have you ever been dismissive of your parents' behavior? Are you as helpless as I am in your life? You are welcome to leave a message in the comment area and forward it.