Wen | Nine Edges (Author of Fushu)
In life, often the most we need to learn is to think less about everything.
I don't know if you have such an experience in your daily life:
After walking on the street and seeing an acquaintance, I said hello from a distance, but I didn't get a reply from the acquaintance, and I wondered if he had an opinion on me.
At the company meeting, when I went on stage to explain the work content, the leader interjected a sentence, and I always felt that there was something in the leader's words.
When I drank the water, I accidentally spilled it, and when someone else looked at it, they panicked and wondered if he would be looking at my joke.
Endless thoughts, constantly bubbling up in these moments, disturb our hearts.
In the end, it causes us to feel more and more sad and nervous.
In fact, these things that we worry about in our minds have never happened in real life.
Many times, it is always we who think too much to make things complicated and difficult to understand.
Thinking too much about everything is a disaster
When I brushed Weibo, I saw such a story and felt deeply:
The blogger has a friend named Nana, and some time ago Nana got a promotion opportunity in an internal position.
But this opportunity in addition to Nana, there are many colleagues are staring, Nana is worried that her qualifications and ability can not convince the public, so she wants to write an application form first, show it to the leader.
So she went to the blogger and asked her how to write.
The blogger first explained the rare opportunity to Nana and found her a lot of information to refer to.
After a week of small gatherings between the two, the blogger asked Nana how her promotion was progressing.
Nana struggled for half a day before telling the blogger that she had not yet written the application form and that the promotion had not yet been implemented.
The blogger asked her why she didn't write it?
Nana said: "Afraid to write it, after submitting it to the leader and being rejected, I showed the joke to my colleagues. There is still this matter has not been officially notified, I have now written the application form, the leader will not think that I am too eager to make a quick profit. ”
The blogger said that after listening to Nana's words, he was eager to wake her up hard and tell her to be sober and bold.
Don't limit the beginning of a thing that has not yet begun because of superfluous ideas, and finally miss the opportunity.
In life, there are many people like Nana, who know that things have not yet settled, and they have begun to worry about the sky.
In the novel "The Death of a Little Civil Servant", the protagonist Cherviako accidentally sneezed while watching an opera, and the spit sprayed onto General Brizarov, who was sitting in front of him.
Cerviako was flustered and kept apologizing to the general, who he apologized to six times in three days.
Although the general forgave him at the beginning, in the end Cerviako was scared to death by his own brain because of this incident.
A very simple problem, because of their own thoughts, they have trapped themselves in endless worries, and the more they struggle, the more tired they become.
Being too sensitive is a disaster; thinking too much about everything is torture for yourself.
What really drags you down is the "mental attrition"
In psychology, there is a technical term called "mental internal friction".
It refers to the whimsical person, as if there are two little people living in the body, constantly fighting for themselves, and eventually making people feel physically and mentally exhausted.
Self-media person Allergy once told a story of his own personal experience:
Allergy was working at the Beijing newspaper 10 years ago, when he was going to interview an important person.
At a meeting in the morning, the leader asked Allergy a few key questions that he was going to ask during the interview, but because Allergy was not ready, he could not answer the leader.
Although colleagues and leaders did not say anything, Allergy felt that he read a lot of hidden meanings from their eyes and movements.
He unconsciously associated himself with himself, and then with all kinds of conjectures and emotions, he stayed up until the end of work.
At home, he had been lying in bed early and preparing to go to bed, and when he thought about his performance at today's meeting and the content of tomorrow's interview, he suddenly became restless, and it was difficult to fall asleep at 2 a.m.
The next day's interview, unsurprisingly, became a failure of Allergy's journalistic career.
In many moments, what really exhausts us physically and mentally is never that we are not ready, but the process of self-internal friction.
It not only breaks down our willpower and determination to do things, but also reduces our satisfaction and expectation of life.
Just like a passage seen on the Internet: internal friction is a struggle between a person and himself, without waiting for others to do it, he will exhaust himself.
And every person who is growing up has a unique psychological tug-of-war, others can't help, can only rely on their own to pull themselves.
The top self-discipline of adults is not to get up early to punch the clock, not to insist on exercising, but to refuse internal friction.
The best way to maintain your health: sickness
On the road of life, the biggest obstacle that hinders us from moving forward is not poverty, not life, old age, illness and death, but excessive thinking.
The best way to be kind to yourself is to stop thinking about everything.
My sister-in-law is a very transparent, happy person.
She runs a women's clothing store on a street that specializes in clothing, and the business is booming.
Sometimes my aunt was too busy to come and would ask me to come over and help. My aunt in the store looked at the upcoming season change and half of the clothes that were not sold, so she proposed a promotion to me and a few clerks that she thought was good.
Unexpectedly, as soon as the voice dropped, it was questioned by the clerk. I think my aunt is the boss, and the clerk's objections in front of so many people are obviously aimed at her.
On the way back with my aunt, I asked her that the clerk opposed you on the spot, aunt, won't you be unhappy?
The aunt said: "You just think too much, only to feel that the other party is targeting me, she is a straight-talking person, what to say." ”
Subsequently, my sister-in-law also told me not to think too much about it because of a casual sentence from others, and to put it into my heart to torture myself.
As the saying goes, the heart is one foot wide, and the road is one foot wide.
When Zeng Guofan was young, he became extremely anxious because he cared too much about other people's thoughts.
Later, he experienced more and realized that the best state of a person is to read when it is time to read, not to think about meeting guests who come to visit; to meet guests when it is time to meet guests, not to think about unfinished books.
Zeng Guofan had no worries in his heart, and Zeng Guofan naturally did a very good job in reading and learning.
Life is inherently simple, a small thing, think more is bigger; a big thing, see clearly is small.
If everything is not put in the heart, the heart will naturally be light and relaxed.
Everything looks down, and the days are comfortable.
Some people say that the vast majority of the things in the world that make us sad are just our mediocre self-disturbance.
Cup bow snake shadow, thinking too much to scare himself.
Yataro Matsuura once said, "Those who are often trapped in uneasiness and anxiety often have bad problems that think too much. ”
And when a person no longer worries too much, the world in his eyes will become clearer and purer.
Those things that make people worry and worry are easier to find the direction to solve the problem, and the heart is more peaceful.
Learning to think is the best health.
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