| Chelsea (Author of The Rich Book)
When people get along with each other, may you have a ruler in your heart, a degree of moderation, the kindness of not causing trouble to others, and the courage to solve problems on your own.
On Weibo, there was once a topic: What are the subtext summaries of adults?
One of the subtexts: "I don't like to trouble others = I don't like others to bother me." ", which resonated with many netizens.
Wang Zijian also said such a sentence:
"When I grew up, I learned that I tried not to cause trouble to others, and others had better not trouble me, this sentence is not indifference, but maturity."
Half a life has passed, and I have gradually understood that the top cultivation of adults is not to cause trouble to others.
Casually bothering others is that you are too lazy
Hu Shi said:
"Between people, we must know how to abide by the measure, do not offend, do not disturb, so as not to cause trouble, in order to maintain a good relationship."
Netizen @ years, shared a personal experience of their own.
Netizens bought a suite, because they were in a hurry to move in, and they were urgently renovated as soon as they handed over the building.
When a neighbor in the owner group heard about it, he added his friend and said that he wanted to refer to the decoration of his home and bother to take some photos. Although netizens are very busy, they still shoot her from room to room.
Who knows, the next day, the neighbor sent a message again: trouble to measure the size of the cabinet.
Netizens wonder in their hearts, this measurement size is not a simple work, why not come back to measure it yourself? Although he was not happy, he still helped out because of his feelings.
A few days later, netizens were running errands outside, and the neighbor called and said that he had trouble photographing the details of the cabinet, especially the highest place. Netizens told each other: it is inconvenient to go out by yourself.
In the evening, the neighbor's message came again: Is it back? Can I take pictures?
The netizens who were already very tired when they returned home felt speechless and replied, "Can't you come back or why?" The decoration is your own business, don't always trouble others", so he blacked out the neighbor.
This reminds me of the last question: What behaviors are easy to offend others, but they are not easy to detect?
One of the high praises replied: Too much to treat others as their own.
In life, it is not uncommon not to take others as outsiders and to trouble others at will.
Want to know some information, obviously Baidu can query, but like to open their mouths to ask;
Don't know how to go, put a variety of navigation tools do not use, but must trouble others;
Pay for things that can be solved, always want others to provide a show of hands.
I have read a very realistic sentence on the Internet:
"Asking others to help is something you really can't do or can't do, that's called help;
If you just ask others to do things you don't want to do just because you're lazy, it's not about asking others to help, it's about bothering others. ”
There is a famous "salt effect" in interpersonal psychology, salt as an indispensable spice when cooking, less of it is tasteless, but once put too much, it will be difficult to swallow.
The same is true of getting along with people, and it is inevitable that you will need help occasionally, after all, people need to interact.
But no matter how much trouble, even without considering whether others are convenient, they lose their measure, become a kind of disturbance, but also the consumption of human feelings, over time, people will stay away.
The highest level of upbringing is not to cause trouble
Lin Yutang once said:
"A person with a clean heart, a clear mind, and no excess emotions and delusions will bring people a sense of security.
Because he doesn't hurt people, and he doesn't hurt himself. Don't make trouble, don't bother others. In a way, it's a form of ordination. ”
Not long ago, the People's Daily reported on a 97-year-old man who insisted on not being "privileged".
On March 8, the first case of positive infection was found in Cangzhou City, and the local government quickly carried out nucleic acid testing for all employees. In view of the elderly's limited mobility, home sampling was arranged.
When the 97-year-old Li Zhixin was told by phone that he would come to the door for sampling that day. The old man immediately said that he could go to the nucleic acid testing point for sampling and did not need to bother everyone.
After several persuasions, the old man still insisted on his own opinion.
When he appeared at the nucleic acid testing point at his advanced age, the staff immediately guided him to give priority to sampling, but he insisted on queuing in order, saying:
"I'm in good health, and although I can't fight the epidemic on the front line, I must not cause trouble for everyone."
Everyone present was warmed by the 97-year-old man.
Cai Kangyong said this in "Strange Story":
"The cause of trouble for others may come from ignorance, from upbringing, from the root of everything, all of which lie in the failure to take people to heart.
Thinking about problems from the perspective of others and not causing trouble to others is a kind of highest level of upbringing. ”
There is a term in psychology called "empathy ability", which refers to the ability to think in a different position and experience the feelings of others.
What you can do, you will never trouble others, because we know that everyone is not easy, you think about others a little more, others will be less difficult.
Getting along with people is not only to make yourself convenient, but also to make others comfortable.
There are no troublesome people, but they have an extra heart to respect others.
Be your own nobleman, and have the courage not to trouble others
I have seen such a story:
Su Shi was curious about why Guanyin Bodhisattva had a string of rosary beads in her hand, so she asked the Zen master, "People in the world are asking for the bodhisattva's blessing, why does she also have a string of rosary beads in her hand, who is she reading?" The Zen master replied, "Like everyone else, I am also chanting Avalokiteshvara." Su Shi was very puzzled, and the Buddhist Zen master explained: "Because Guanyin is insightful in the world, it is better to seek others than to seek oneself, and it is better to rely on others than to rely on oneself." ”
Many times, we expect that there are noble people in life who can help themselves, but we don't know that our biggest noble person is ourselves.
As the old saying goes, "Do what you do, do it yourself; don't bother others, it will be done." ”
Instead of expecting help from others, it is better to rely on your own strength to break the situation.
Helen Keller, author of "If You Give Me Three Days of Light," a disabled person who has lost her hearing and vision, has a mantra to herself:
"In my lifetime, I will try to learn to be self-reliant, and try not to add to the trouble of others within my ability."
In fact, she can use the excuse of being blind and deaf, and naturally trouble others. But she didn't, why?
Everyone knows that relying on yourself in everything can grasp the initiative of life, which is also the confidence of being a person.
Lu Yao wrote in "Ordinary World": "Living on one's own, the soul is peaceful. ”
A mature person often understands that no one depends on himself.
Cai Kangyong wrote in The Way of Speaking:
"The way to find less trouble for others is to let the trouble be solved in your own hands, and others do not exist to serve you." 」
When people get along with each other, may you have a ruler in your heart, a degree of moderation, the kindness of not causing trouble to others, and the courage to solve problems on your own.
In this way, you can not only harvest good relationships, but also meet better yourself.
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