I felt like I was about to be depressed. The baby is going to be born in these two weeks, the mother-in-law came to take care of me for more than a month, what dietary consumption habits are contradictory, living habits are contradictory, I have compromised, how I don't care, admit my fate.
One, a mother-in-law who does not call for a day
But there is one thing I really can't compromise and admit my life, but I can't help it, which makes me feel like I'm about to be depressed, maybe I will really be depressed later.
The mother-in-law calls home every day, and there is no stop in the day, and there are many things in the old family. These phone calls are intense, the language is intense, the emotions are intense, and it is annoying.
I myself am just like that, after the mother-in-law takes the child like this every day, the child lives in such an environment, I am very worried about the formation of the child's personality.
Second, the influence of the environment on the formation of children's personality
It is said that 0-3 years old is a key period for the formation of children's personality, this period of children's perception of the world is basically completed by hearing, the mother-in-law calls home every day, fierce speech, emotional excitement, let me worry about the impact on the child's personality.
First of all, if the child imitates the mother-in-law, he will also be grumpy and excited when he grows up. Secondly, if the mother-in-law's voice frightens the child, it is easy to cause the child to start the self-protection mode, become closed, unwilling to communicate with others, unwilling to communicate with parents. The two boys in the old family are like this, unwilling to communicate with their parents. Either way, it stung my heart deeply.
Third, the entanglement of family problems
I have reacted to this problem with my husband, suggesting that when the confinement is out, let the mother-in-law return to her hometown, I resign and go home with a child for a year and a half, and when the child is 2 years old, I will be sent to the kindergarten small class, and I will start work again.
But the mother-in-law is not happy, and the specific reason is not clear to me.
The husband also said that he would discuss it when the time came. I guess my husband is also stressed and doesn't want me to quit my job and take the kids at home.
In fact, it is best that the mother-in-law can help bring 2 years old, and I can also have some savings myself, and it is convenient to do anything. But that's what caused me to get depressed.
Choosing to let my mother-in-law take the child satisfies the mother-in-law's sense of achievement and obligation, reduces the pressure and burden of my husband, and also allows me to live more easily and have a more secure career in the future.
However, all this is the convenience of gambling with the children I am exchanging my life for.
What should I do if my child's personality defect is very large in the future?
Fourth, the concept of parenting that is sacrificed to the end
Shouldn't we have to endure a little harder when the child is 0-3 years old, so that we will not worry about the child's personality problem for most of our lives?
The mother-in-law is not aware of this problem, why is the husband not aware of this problem? I quit my job at home for a year and a half, not three years and five years, although the couple worked a little harder, they could still survive.
Why use this year and a half of ease to gamble on your child's life? Winning a bet is luck, isn't it a lifetime of regret to gamble and lose?
In fact, it is the best result to communicate well with the mother-in-law and let the mother-in-law leave the family affairs alone and take good care of the children.
But don't the children in the family have to worry about it? The father-in-law of the family is a child himself, the family is large and small, inside and outside the mother-in-law to worry, even if the mother-in-law promised us, it is difficult to ensure that it will be done.
If the mother-in-law ostensibly promised us, behind the scenes, she still calls back every day to worry about this and that, scolds the child and scolds the father-in-law, scolds the child's father-in-law and then calls the third sister and the sixth mother-in-law to complain about the child's father-in-law and other trivial matters in life...
My children live in this oppressive environment every day, and I am really worried about how their personality will become.
If this is really the case, I originally wanted to take care of both sides, but the result is that both sides are not taken care of, which is to give up the end.
Fifth, the mother's family is also a difficult scripture to read
If my mother could come up and help with it for a year and a half, it would be a great choice, but my sister-in-law was not happy with this person. I can't embarrass my mother for myself, unless I am fully sure that my sister-in-law will not wait to see my mother in the future, and I can take care of her old man's home.
But I'm not sure, and I can't gamble with my mother's old age.
It made me even more devastated, and I felt like I was really going to be depressed. I dare not gamble, and finally I want to gamble on the future of my children? Why doesn't everyone dare to become a gambler, but put a child who has not yet been born on the gambling table?
For the happiness of all people, gambling on the future of our children, what is our original intention of having children? I couldn't bet on my kids, and I felt like I was really going to be depressed.
I also regret that I didn't think about these problems at all before I had a child, after all, for the first time, I didn't know that there were so many troublesome things to have and raise a child.
VI. Conclusion
I feel that no one can understand my mood, everyone will think that I am worried, everyone will say "relax", "take a step to see a step", "the boat to the bridge is naturally straight"...
Is this loneliness that no one can understand be a precursor to depression? I used to think that it was very incomprehensible to be pregnant and depressed, but now I deeply feel that many things cannot be understood by others, really because there is no empathy.
And in this world, where is there so much empathy? Man, I am really born lonely.
What am I going to do? Is there anyone who can point me out? Does anyone want to point me out? Is there anyone who can crack this puzzle?
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