A few days ago, I watched a show in which an actor nakedly punctured the plot trend of contemporary marriage TV series, that is, most men inevitably encounter "workplace temptations" in middle age, and then successfully derailed.
The awakening of the wives is after discovering the husband's extramarital affair, so they change themselves and realize that they can do everything without the man.
Being hurt in this way has become the only way for middle-aged women to progress, and the original pair's Jedi counterattack has become the best ending.
But in fact, for a woman to suffer betrayal, that hurt may accompany a lifetime. If they could, no one wanted to reap the rewards of growth in that way.
When it comes to divorce and foreign affairs, in addition to the efforts of the original match in marriage and the man's single-mindedness in treating feelings, it is inseparable from the non-interference of the third party.
If a man's infidelity is the root cause of infidelity, then the existence of a third party is the "fuse" of a family breakdown. But the third party often does not know that they are likely to become the biggest victims of the three people's feelings.
01 Originally supposed to have a baby on the 2nd floor, I had an abortion on the 18th floor
@Plum 32 years old "I thought true love was a married man, and it didn't matter!"
Liu Chao and I are former company colleagues, and I left my job for less than half a year, and then I met him in the new company. We didn't have much intersection at work before, but here he became my superior, and every day we were in constant meetings, talking, and having lunch together. He exudes charm all the time, and I admit that I admired him first.
But I knew he was married, so this appreciation was silently buried in my heart, just hoping to see him every day was enough. Later, we often had dinner together, and when my male colleague joked with me or asked me to hang out and let him know, he would be unhappy, and the jealous look would not make me more happy.
Gradually, I was sure that he liked me too, and he also expressed his determination to me after that business trip, saying that he would divorce his wife and then love me wholeheartedly, but now that his wife was sick, he could not put salt on other people's wounds.
I especially understand him, and even think that he is a wonderful man, do not love his wife will take the initiative to say, do not hide too much, so that we all have an account. Until I found out I was pregnant, everything changed...
I knew he and his wife didn't have children, so I thought he would like it, so I happily told him the good news that day with the pregnancy test report, wanting to say that when he was divorced, we would go and get married and give the children a complete home.
But when he learned that I was pregnant, he lost his temper and warned me to fight it off immediately!
That's when I realized I had been fooled. It turned out that his wife's "illness" was pregnancy, and he never wanted to divorce me, and he only came to me to relieve loneliness, and everything he said to me was to stabilize my reasons.
When I was about to break the jar and break it to tell his wife everything, he threatened me that if I did, he would make it public that I was a third party and pregnant with a child, and said that I had seduced him, and then see if the company would still want me, and see if fame was more important to him or more important to me.
Originally, I thought that it didn't matter if I fell in love with a married man, and nothing could prevent true love from happening, but now I know that the third party is the biggest "cannon fodder" in a relationship.
02 The third party can never become the original match
@Xiaoyu 37 years old "Will being a third party really be punished?"
Friends always joke that I am a real-life "Ling Ling".
I have been divorced twice, the first marriage husband is blind date acquaintance, he nest, no work, after marriage is not motivated, do not want to live a hard life with him, I resolutely chose divorce.
Then I met my second husband, he is a workplace elite, although he has a wife and children, but his marriage does not seem to be happy enough, his wife is also a strong woman, the feelings of the two people are not deep, so I look at his ability and strength, opened a crazy pursuit, my goal is only one: to take him down, so that I can live a good life.
I showed my vulnerability and kindness all in front of him, not surprisingly he was very sad for me, after drunkenness, the desire to protect him and me, so it did not take long for me to take the initiative to tell his wife about this unsightly feeling, and sure enough, this strong woman could not stand the betrayal and took the initiative to file for divorce.
And I became his second wife, but after less than 2 years of marriage, the calm days were no longer calm.
When I washed his shirt that day, I saw a lipstick mark on the back of the dress that was deliberately rubbed on, and I could tell that it was a provocation by some woman to me. Since then, he often travels home for business, his mobile phone does not leave his hand, I can only track for two days, I found that his new love is a young woman, and also took photos of two people holding hands.
When I asked him for a theory, he also said, let me endure it, I am still his wife, I can't stand it, divorce, where I came from, I will go back to where I came.
But I thought I was a bad woman, found his brother, and made trouble with her parents, and no one supported me, and it turned out that in their hearts I was always just a third party. Even his mother said that I should have thought of such an ending on my wedding day, which is purely deserved!
Yes, I was awakened by the sentence "deserve", he is a man with no strong concentration, so he will be with me, and now that I have been betrayed, what else can I complain about?
03 Don't love people you shouldn't love
In fact, in most TV dramas and real life, there are not a few women who can retreat or succeed in the upper position, but this can only be said to be a "fluke", or that this is just the appearance we see, and the impact of happiness on the future is not large, only I know best.
Similarly, not all third parties have bad nature, and they have their own "grievances".
1, too "simple"
Speaking of "simple", I have to mention the plum in the text, she said, "I thought true love was a married man, and it didn't matter."
There are two mistakes in this sentence, the first is "true love", for Meizi, true love is like, she and Liu Chao are just one-sided interactions in the workplace, and they blindly regard the worship of leaders as love.
The second question is "it doesn't matter if you fall in love with a married man". Love is restraint, and it is wrong to destroy other people's families in order to fulfill their own love. Later, after Liu Chao also liked her, he was even more desperate to give birth to children.
She did not understand the matter of Liu Chao and his wife at all, and only by Liu Chao's one-sided words she believed the lie that he would divorce, and finally ended up having a child, the result of her own abortion, and even once she was known to her identity, she was trapped in the shadows all her life and could not look up.
This is the result of her being too "simple".
2. The original family caused the "deformity of the concept of marriage"
Most of these women, who did not want to be a third party, but still became a third party, most of them experienced unhappy times, which may be the lack of happiness of the original family, or they may have been emotionally seriously injured.
So they don't understand what love is, they don't understand what should be, what shouldn't be, in their hearts, love is to get, if it can be successfully obtained, it is happy, if it cannot be successfully obtained, it is vigorous.
But their love is always too extreme, and even they do not understand the reason why the lover loves himself before, and always ends up with a tragic end of abandonment.
04
"Third party" is destined to be a derogatory term
Many people say that after a third party takes the throne and robs others of the fruits of victory, they are always happily married. But we still remember that they are third parties, and they themselves are unforgettable.
Just like Xiao Yu, she is a middle-aged woman with a clear goal, after looking down on the unenterprising first marriage husband, she can divorce decisively, appreciate the married man with strong ability, and will take the initiative.
But how do you take this married man, he may also be seduced in the same way by others, because he can be with you, it proves that he is an irresponsible scumbag for feelings, so why do you expect him to be dedicated?
This shows that you tried to get everything, but did not end up well, because you went the wrong way in the beginning. And these women who can go the wrong way often have the following personality characteristics in the face of feelings:
1. Extreme selfishness
In order to live a good life, Xiao Yu can give up her ex-husband who does not want to make progress, and she can also strive to pursue a married man who has a good career, so she is an extremely selfish person who achieves her goals, she does not consider her parents, children and feelings with her husband, nor does she consider the wife of a married man, only for her "good life" to put into action.
2. Disguise self-confidence and inferiority
In addition to selfishness, their self-confidence in pursuing married men stems from inferiority.
They are not happy enough, and they cannot easily get everything they want, so they desperately desire beauty, so they become "third parties" for the beauty that does not belong to them.
3, do things recklessly
"Third party" is destined to be a derogatory term that no one wants to carry all the time.
But there are still people who recklessly fight for themselves. Just like Yao Di in the entertainment industry, after her feelings with the article were discovered, she still carries the label of "third party" and is not accepted by the public;
Just like Zhang Zixuan, although she successfully ascended to the throne and her marriage is still relatively happy, in the hearts of the public, her happiness is based on Xu Jing's pain, so no matter what, she is just a sad "third party".
And those who take the initiative to become a third party, the reckless end is that once the matter is revealed, they will be "notorious".
So, whether it's for your own love, or a better life, or some obsession, once you become a third party, you will carry this title in this life, or be hurt again and again, or never get loved.
Every woman should be born to be cherished, but the premise of this cherishing is that we must recognize what love is, and understand more clearly what is worth loving and what should be loved, so that you can go further away from happiness.
Write at the end:
Happiness does require women to fight for themselves, but never step on the tip of the knife and dance.