#你相信 the phrase "gold always shines" #Many people will believe it, right? I? It's an out-of-column. Life is too cruel, like a knife stuck in the heart, deeper and deeper, no

#你相信 the phrase "gold always shines" # Many people will believe this sentence, right? I? It's an out-of-column. Life is too cruel, like a knife stuck in the heart, deeper and deeper, can not extricate themselves, will feel so depressed! My chest was so stuffy I couldn't breathe.

Gradually, I am far away from this world, and there is no violation of me and no self. People do not want to go to places with many people, nor do they dare to go, just for fear of meeting people. Some people wanted to talk to me, but the only thing that faced him was my silence, and for a long time I couldn't think of the words to answer, and my heart was blank. Always at a loss, wanting to be alone, thinking that it would be nice to be alone.

It would be nice to have a place where no one bothered you and could quietly think about your own affairs. Why am I so afraid? Death can't die, it hurts, and it's a waste of money. Be braver and I'll be relieved. I vaguely remember the carefree time when I was a child, the crowd can always hear their own laughter, lively, cheerful, is synonymous with themselves, and there is no obstacle to communicating with people.

It's ridiculous and pathetic to think about now that I haven't been looking for a job for months. When will you be too timid to face life and don't want to face the work environment? Lying quietly on the bed playing with the phone, even sitting on the skin of the buttocks, would that be good? Unwilling to face the outside world, people and things outside, eat instant noodles, order takeout, and eat only one meal a day, will that be?

Spring Festival is coming, there is no money to go home, even if you have money, you don't dare to go back, I really don't want others to see me like this. Mom and Dad didn't dare to answer the phone, and could only send a message saying that everything was fine. It's so uncomfortable. The heart was too tired to breathe. Am I sick? I've lost 90 pounds, and I feel like my pants are getting bigger, and the belt can be tied twice. I remembered that my parents were in their 70s, but I didn't have the ability to take care of them. They can't feed themselves, they're useless, they're a waste. More than thirty, not even a girlfriend, even if there is a girlfriend, they will not get along, like me, who will not like? It's too late to give up.

I remember when I was seventeen years old, I beat up with my classmates, injured people very badly, and was sentenced to five years. As soon as he entered the detention center, he was beaten up by several prison bullies, saying that he was a "new recruit" who wanted to give a greeting gift. It was so inhuman that I was knocked to the ground and stomped on my head a few times, and I almost didn't pass out. Beat me up and ask me to drink a lot of tap water. Only later did I realize that they beat me, just to build up my prestige and let me know who was the boss in the cell.

Touching the sore spot that night, the more I thought about it, the more I thought it was not worth it. Get up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom and rub the end of the toothbrush hard against the floor. I walked over to the bed and stuck the leg of the man who hit me hard. Later, two or three prisoners got up and fought with me, and the noise attracted the guards before they were stopped.

In the days that followed, I was targeted everywhere by those cubs, always deliberately making all kinds of excuses to beat me. The dead pig is not afraid of boiling water, and my sense of revenge is getting stronger and stronger! Finally one day I broke out, sharpening a toothbrush and sticking it in the face of a man, bleeding profusely, as if my men were too heavy, and the man was taken to the hospital. No doubt I was later given a two-year sentence. But I don't regret it, after this incident, the prisoners in the detention center did not dare to provoke me, and I can finally feel at ease.

The trial was held and sentenced to seven years in prison. When I arrived at the labor camp, I cut sugar cane every day, and the task a day was 1,000 kilograms. One person and two acres of land, sugar cane cut head and tail tied, to carry hundreds of meters of road stacked on the car box. At that time, he was only seventeen years old, and his thin shoulders could not carry anything at all, so he only used his hands to support the top of his stomach, and turned back and forth dozens of times, so tired that he got up every day and was full of pain, and he couldn't eat at all. The most dashing is the kind of person who has money in the family, and can get a good job by money or trust. You don't have to work, and you can still have the leisure to catch rats in the field and roast them to eat. Having money can make ghosts push and grind, and this sentence is just as good to make everywhere.

In the next day, my head was like a blank, and I vaguely remembered taking medicine every day, the medicine was so bitter, the whole person was numb. The thing I remember most is the day I got out of prison, my parents came to pick me up, they said I was thin, I watched them suddenly feel older. At that time, the tears swirling in my eyes hurt my eyes, and my parents asked me, and I was just silent, with my head down, without answering, and I didn't know what to answer. Since then, I've started to feel like everything doesn't matter...

I knew I was getting more and more introverted, groggy year after year, as if the road under my feet would move. Dizziness, headaches, and panic have always been with me. I forgot about the extroverted and cheerful me, I was really confused, I didn't know how to go on.

I like to read books and articles, by chance to know your "today's headlines" my "friend", we have known each other for more than ten days, right? I treat you as a good friend and talk to you, you share gold coins with me every day, give me food money, and don't ask for anything in return. Don't you think what I told you was a little sentimental? Don't you ask me why I'm so decadent, sad, depressed? I can only tell you that in fact, even I don't know the answer, why I am afraid to communicate with people, why I am afraid of hilarity. Why is it that every time I work, I can't do it for half a year and quit my job, am I lazy? Am I not convinced? Maybe? Maybe A waster like me is not worthy of life, not worthy of living in this world?

It was more than four o'clock in the morning, and I didn't know that it was the first few nights, and I couldn't sleep at night. It was so quiet at night that only the cries in my ears were noisy to me. The body is too tired, and the mind is still very clear. How many more years can we live? Are Mom and Dad okay now? If one day I leave, my sister will take care of them, and I am also very relieved.

I'm not gold, I'm even less luminous, I'm just a lonely person hiding in a corner. Darkness can always surround me quickly, but when will the light appear? I hope that I can quickly get out of the haze, go to the place where there is sunshine, and find the lively and cheerful me that I once was.

"Today's Headlines" Good night! My friend, thank you for listening to me so carefully, thank you.