In the morning, I went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables, weighed a pound of river shrimp, and the boss skillfully filled the bag and threw it on the electronic scale. I shouted: Slow! He said and pulled out a 500ml bottle of mineral water. Didn't expect stalls

In the morning, I went to the vegetable market to buy vegetables, weighed a pound of river shrimp, and the boss skillfully filled the bag and threw it on the electronic scale. I shouted: Slow! He said and pulled out a 500ml bottle of mineral water. Unexpectedly, the stall owner also reacted to God, and immediately picked up the bag and said: Just remembered, this scale was just broken yesterday, come and I will take you to the opposite side to weigh it. And then I walked away without looking back!。。。。。

2. After a few nights of eating, go out for a pug walk. At this time, there was a boy in front of him who was digging out his pocket for something, only to see his wallet fall off. Before the boys could pick them up, my pug ran past with lightning speed. Then I grabbed my wallet, turned my head and ran back, placing it at my feet, spitting out my tongue and swinging my tail wildly with a look of reward. At this time the boy looked at me in shock...

3. After giving birth to my son, I not only lost my body, but also gained more than 50 pounds. My husband sees me every day with a disgusted expression, and watches some models walk the catwalk all day long. In order to make my husband notice me, I bought a pair of slim leather pants on Taobao. After putting it on, it was really in shape, so I couldn't help but take a photo and send it to the circle of friends. Everyone commented nicely and beautifully, but only one comment made me think about it for a long time. A colleague asked: Wear these pants, fart out of the way? Well, without further ado, I have to study these pants...

4. The neighbor's house is very lively, and I heard that Fa Xiao came back and brought his wife and twin sons. I was not at home because of work, my mother called me and said, "Son, when you come back this time, you must bring me a girlfriend, you see that you have a wife when you are young, and you have two big fat sons, if you don't bring them back, you don't come back." "No way, under pressure, I rented a girlfriend and came back." When I got home, as soon as I walked in the door, my mother said, "Isn't this your little wife?" ”

5. At noon, the daughter urinated on the window and the mother was very angry. At this time, my daughter took out a bag like a trick and put it in my mother's hand as if to please. My mother opened it and immediately smiled, it was all some change, one piece, five pieces, ten pieces, adding up to five or six hundred pieces. My mother said to her daughter happily: "Ya ya, add ribs to you at noon this day, these days, help me find it at home again." My wife suddenly changed her mind: "Mom, how does this bother you, after lunch, we will bring her back." ”

6. Sailor and wife go to see a sea adventure movie, and when a ship touches a reef and is flooded by the water, the sailor's wife sees her husband jump up, her face full of sweat. The wife asked her husband, "What's wrong?" Does the empty cloth on the sea scare you like this? The husband shouted, "Go fast, go fast, I forgot to turn off the faucet in the bathroom!" Husband: "What a fuss, this can be forgotten!" ”

7. During my lunch break at work, I was chatting with my colleagues. At this time, the mobile phone rang, and it was a message from dad. He wrote: "Girlfriend, the money transferred to you last time, turn it on to me, I am useful." "I was stunned, Dad was typing very slowly, usually it was all voice, I'm sure it wasn't him. I turned five blocks over and said, "That's all? I hurriedly said, "Dad, you have forgotten, you didn't give me money at all, you didn't have money to spend it, you told me, I gave it to you." At this time, a voice came from the opposite side, and the voice of the mother came from inside. She said, "Girl, come home early from work today and have a big dinner with your dad and we, and I'll pay for it." ”

8. I have been married to The School Flower for five years, and the relationship between husband and wife has always been very good. Drinking with your buddies last night, the brother couldn't help but ask, "Why are you two so good in your relationship?" Me: "Let me tell you this, we are both people who have experienced life and death together!" Brother: "Really fake?" Me: "Of course it's true, we had several fights, and we almost ended up together!" ”

 #Funny# #搞笑段子 #