The female colleague went to withdraw the money, took ten thousand and vomited fifty thousand, she looked up at the monitoring! Counted ten thousand in the bag, and the rest was put on the cabinet and left! Half a month later, I received a telegram from the head of the legal department of the bank

The female colleague went to withdraw the money, took ten thousand and vomited fifty thousand, she looked up at the monitoring! Counted ten thousand in the bag, and the rest was put on the cabinet and left! Half a month later, I received a call from the head of the legal department of the bank, saying that I had gone to the court to sue him! The roommate scornfully said: "I just passed the judicial examination this year, I didn't take the money, and I have no obligation to keep it for you!" The supervisor was silent for a moment: "What you took away is the ten thousand of our bank, and the ten thousand that remains is yours." ”

2, the son's test results came out, still not good, and was repaired by his wife! After the lesson, my son ran to the house crying and crying to come to me to complain. While crying, he said indignantly: "It is not the fault of raising a godfather, the laziness of teaching a strict teacher, you read the book and said, educating me is your task and the teacher's task, there is nothing for my mother, what does she do to beat me every day?" I was stunned for a moment, looked at my wife who was already standing in the doorway and said, "Shhh, if you don't want to continue to be beaten, just make a little noise!" ”

3, I am the boss's personal bodyguard. In the morning, the boss went to the breakfast shop downstairs of the company to eat buns, and ate a total of two cages of buns but was asked for 200 yuan. I didn't say a word and called me over. After I learned about the situation, I called the boss aside. I asked: Boss, did you eat garlic when you ate buns? Boss: Eat it, of course the bun must be accompanied by garlic! Me: Boss, didn't I say you, you ate 30 heads of garlic and 20 green onions in two cages of buns, are you trying to make people go bankrupt?

4. On the day of the wedding with my daughter-in-law, her girlfriend did not come to the wedding but called me. When my daughter-in-law saw it, she immediately felt that something was wrong, and I answered the phone and opened the speakerphone! Her girlfriend cried and said, "I'm pregnant, and the person you should marry is me!" I calmly asked her to come to the wedding scene, and after the meeting I said, "Borrow your mobile phone." She handed me the phone, so I edited the group message that I was pregnant. After a while, I received a lot of replies, only to see the daughter-in-law's girlfriend's face change and turn her head and leave, am I too smart.

5, today the cousin went to open will see the foreman eating a big turnip. The cousin sneered, "You see how poor you really are, what a day you still eat turnips." The foreman looked at his cousin and said, "You're still too young, and I'll go half an hour earlier than you when the meeting will be held, don't you believe it?" Cousin: "I really don't believe it, do you believe that you want to go to the toilet, I let my uncle not let you go?" ”

6, because I work hard in the factory, as the production team leader, I squeeze the staff's time every day, and the output and quality are all brothers for half a year. Today, I was promoted to the head of the class, but I did not expect that my brother who took office would be late for a day. He explained: When I met a novice driver on the road, 5 traffic lights did not get up, I kept honking the horn, thinking that I would dare to go on the road with any technology. After listening to me silently think, waiting for 5 traffic lights behind a novice do not know whether it is quite two to change lanes?

7. In the year of graduation, I said to the lesbian table: Graduate soon, where are you going to work? Lesbian Table: Hey! I was confused and I didn't know where I was going. Me: I have a job that packs food and shelter without suffering, and someone serves you. Lesbian Table: What a job so good! Me: Be my mother's daughter-in-law! The son clapped his hands and applauded: Dad, did you rely on this humor to deceive your mother? Thinking of my daughter-in-law's fat from more than 90 pounds to more than 200 pounds, I smiled bitterly: It is your mother who relies on my strength to rely on me...

8. I work in a media company. A colleague never flushes the toilet, the cleaner says it many times, the colleague just doesn't change. That day the colleague did not flush the toilet and went outside, the cleaning staff was about to come forward to talk about him, but saw that he still had a small dog in his hand, the cleaning staff said: I said that this toilet always has a time not to flush, it turned out that the dog went to the toilet. So, he put on the toilet "Animals enter the toilet, can not flush." ”

#Funny# #搞笑段子 #