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1. At noon and my wife are taking a nap, suddenly someone knocked on the door, I woke up at once, picked up my clothes and pants and hid in the cabinet, hid in and found that the shoes were forgotten, only to see my wife use her feet gently

author:Funny girl

1. At noon and my wife are taking a nap, suddenly someone knocked on the door, I woke up at once, picked up my clothes and pants and hid in the cabinet, hid in and found that the shoes forgot to take, only to see my wife use her foot to gently kick my shoes under the bed and kicked to open the door, open the door to see her father, I suddenly realized that this is not my home, why do I hide in the cabinet, and then go out to continue sleeping.

2. Today in the company overtime, the goddess went out to eat at noon, the mobile phone forgot in the office. So I pranked and used her cell phone to send a group message: "I'm pregnant." The boss replied: "Are you sure?" It's not a joke. We were stunned to see the news, and then the boss replied: "The company has a big project next, and I won't let you be responsible." "I feel like I'm in trouble, don't say anything, the goddess is now chasing me with a knife!"

3. My husband is a game anchor, because he looks ugly, many fans have lost their fans. He later stole my money for a facelift, and the failed surgery made his already bumpy face even worse. He faced me facelessly, so he ran away from home, leaving me alone. In the evening, I was not in the mood to cook, so I went to my brother-in-law's house to eat and drink. My brother-in-law's mother personally cooked me a large bowl of vermicelli, but there was too much salt, especially salty. When eating, the aunt next to me asked me very warmly: is it salty and light, is it delicious? I looked up and said righteously: It's not salty at all, it's delicious. In order to be able to rub rice happily next time, I silently ate the whole pot.

4. In order to pay off the 36,000,000 yuan that Alipay Huabei was 8 months overdue, I went to a KTV as a waiter. As a result, the landlady who had been divorced 5 times fell in love with me at first sight and asked me to be her boyfriend. The landlady promised to help me pay off my debts and promoted me to lobby manager, which I immediately agreed to. Since becoming a manager, I have often worked overtime and left work at 3 a.m. last night. When I was home, I passed the door on the first floor, and there was a little boy in the house crying incessantly, and his mother lied to him: If you cry again, the jewel outside will come in and arrest you! In the spirit of helping others, I responded: Your mother did not lie to you, obedient! Later, both people in the room burst into tears...

5. The niece who is not old and premature is 16 years old, and has begun to enter the rebellious period of youth, and she did not know what to do with her sister-in-law a few days ago, and she has not spoken for several days. I had a few more days during the Spring Festival holiday, and when I was idle and bored at noon, I invited my niece to watch the New Year movie "Hello, Li Huanying" together. Who knew that after returning, she actually took the initiative to confess her mistake to her sister-in-law and slept with her sister-in-law at night. I'm so happy in my heart. Who knew that the next day, my aunt, who had not come to my house for a long time, actually came to the door and said that my mother had asked her to come and let her watch this movie with me.

6) A friend said that his father-in-law was too difficult to serve. Asked him what he was, she said that the wife was afraid that his father was idle, asked him to rent some land for him to give him a variety of onions, ginger, garlic seedlings to pass the time, friends quickly did it, the result was that the old man was still angry, and we all followed the sympathy... Later, I learned that he rented twenty acres of paddy fields to the sixty-year-old lady, and the grandfather sat at the edge of the field, his thoughts were very chaotic....

7. When I came home from work, my wife suddenly came over and said, "Honey, I accidentally broke up your newly purchased Asus rog Super God X, you won't blame me, right?" I wiped her head and said, "No, if you're all right, it's sunny." My wife immediately kissed me happily: Husband, you are so good. Me: Come on, if you're okay, give me out.

8. There was a good buddy at that time, the family was in the real estate business, very rich. Unfortunately, after graduating from college, we were all busy with our careers, so we didn't contact each other for a long time. Today this buddy came to the gym I opened to find me, to see that he was dressed well, he said he wanted to find a security guard, salary 6000, it is best to practice. I called the little master and disciple over, and he did not ask my brother to show him his hands. After the master and disciple finished the drill, he clapped and said: If you do it, it is up to him, and it is enough to deal with the owner with this hand.

 #Funny##Funny paragraph# #今日笑料 #

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