The author | Guan Junran Edited | paragraph
"My enemies are the coronavirus and my husband!" "Reduced income, not doing housework, not taking care of children, yelling (at home) ... This is already stressing me, just stop! "
Just before Mother's Day 2020, Japanese housewives learned on the last day of the "national emergency" that the government's demand for "going out to self-discipline" (self-control, try not to go out) has been extended for another month. That means their husbands are staying at home for another month.
Since the Japanese government declared the "state of emergency" on April 7, husbands do not need to go out to work from home, the time for husbands and wives to live together at home has increased dramatically, and there are more Japanese families in the divorce crisis, and the term "new crown divorce" has become a hot topic on Japanese social media.
In fact, after the epidemic subsided, there was also a phenomenon of "retaliatory divorce" in China. The Asahi Shimbun previously reported on the flood of divorce applications after civil affairs bureaus across China officially began operations. Japanese media commented that the increase in divorce in China is related to the lockdown? This should be a wake-up call for the world.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > wives who don't want to be in the same room as their husbands complain that wives treat themselves as "viruses."</h1>
Nami, who is in her 30s, has been married for 7 years. She told the "Phoenix Weekly" reporter that during the epidemic, her husband was at home a day, and the real time spent on the office was only two or three hours, in addition to sitting on the sofa, not only did not do housework, did not take care of the children, but also always asked "take that, take this", it was too painful to be together, she could only try to avoid staying in the same room with her husband.
A Japanese wife in her 50s publicly complained on social media: "The husband sits around all the time while he's in the room, just watching TV and doing nothing." Take the remote control and make tea all by entrusting me to do it. The time spent together increases, and being together itself becomes painful. "
On the message board of the children's education website called "mamasta", the topic of "compared to the new crown, I may die due to 'husband source disease'" has caused many people to leave comments. "Husband-derived disease" means that because the husband feels stressed, the body feels unwell. This is not a new word, and Fuminobu Ishiza, an associate professor at the Graduate School of Medicine at Osaka University, has published a book explaining the origin of "Fuyuan disease". He said that 90% of his wife's illness was caused by her husband. Physical symptoms can cause mental symptoms such as anxiety, intense restlessness, depression, etc., accompanied by physical symptoms such as nausea, stomach upset, headache, cold sweat, loss of appetite, and insomnia.
In the message area, wives told the many symptoms of "husband-derived disease" during the new crown epidemic: "Husbands' days at home have increased. I've been feeling dizzy and sick lately" "I'm not feeling well because my husband has been at home" "I'm not feeling well during the day, but my husband is getting better after he sleeps".
The Japanese website "Husband Kill Note" (Death Note), which has surged monthly traffic, is updated with "curses" from wives during the COVID-19 pandemic. On May 9, a wife wrote: "He does not wear a mask, goes out at noon in the morning, and does not disinfect when he comes back." The sneezing was so loud that the husband's voice was all pressure. Go and die! (I) live happily with my children with insurance money. "
However, in contrast, the dissatisfaction does not only come from the wife, but also from the husband who works from home.
Sato, who is in his 40s, sat in front of a fast-food restaurant near his home and told a reporter from Phoenix Weekly about his experience over the past month. Sato, who has been married for 5 years, said his wife was not satisfied with what he did, criticizing him for almost everything: "Why don't you even know where to put the washing powder?" "How did the floor wipe like it didn't?" "Don't worry about it, or I'll do it faster" and so on. He felt very aggrieved: "I obviously helped with housework while working, and I was always scolded." "
There are also some quarrels caused by the "new crown virus", and the wife's sense of high risk and the husband's "optimist" always lead to contradictions. Murakami, who has been married for 12 years, said: "Originally my wife was more neurotic, but now that the new crown virus is circulating, her neuroticism is even stronger. Even if it was just to go shopping at a nearby convenience store, I had to take a shower when I came back. Every time I came into contact with a child, I was sprayed with disinfectant water, and I was like a virus. "
During the COVID-19 pandemic, the business of "rented storage rooms" in Japan has doubled. One of the reasons is that divorced wives are ready to go back to their mother's house, because there are too many luggage, and because of the existence of Japan's "shame culture", they are embarrassed to transport the luggage directly back to their mother's house. So the luggage was stored in the rented storage room first, and the wife returned to her mother's house with the child, so that outsiders could not see the abnormality.
<h1 class= "pgc-h-arrow-right" > husbands who stay at home become "big pieces of garbage."</h1>
Under the new crown epidemic, everyone returned to the family, assessed the risk of the new crown virus, and the responsibility of ensuring the health of family members fell on the wife alone. Nami said she was arguing with her husband who came back from the house and didn't pay attention to cleanliness, reminding him to "change his coat right away" while strengthening her elderly parents' awareness of the crisis of the coronavirus and reminding them that "to go out less, Ken Shimura (a Japanese comedy master) has died of COVID-19", while also taking care of children from the threat of the virus.
Modern Japanese women want to secure their time even if they are housewives, and even if they are married, many people choose to continue working. Behind this is the heisei era of Japan's heisei period, while completing industrial upgrading, it has also entered an era of greater personalization and diversification.
But wives who want to stay "personal" largely need the help of their husbands. According to the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, the wife's childcare time per week is 3.09 hours, housework is 7.27 hours, while the husband's childcare time is only 33 minutes per week, and housework time is only 27 minutes. During the epidemic period, my husband asked three times a day, "Have you cooked a good meal?" "At one point it broke the wives. The husband's return to the family and his inability to share in childcare and housework add to the burden on the wife.
The phenomenon that preceded the topic of "new crown divorce" was the popular "mature divorce" a few years ago, and many white-haired old couples in Japan chose to divorce. Last year's 72-year-old film director Takeshi Kitano's divorce from his 68-year-old wife was a sensation. According to the Japanese Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, the number of "mature divorce" cases in Japanese society has nearly quadrupled since 1980, and the vast majority of divorce proceedings are filed by wives when their husbands are close to retirement.
For couples who divorced after April 2007, under Japanese law, the wife receives up to half of her husband's public pension at the time of divorce. In the event of a divorce after April 2008, even if no divorce agreement has been reached, the husband may receive up to half of the public pension according to the number of years of marriage. Japanese media believe that Japan's pension system objectively guarantees the wife's economic resources after the "mature divorce".
Japanese men who usually focus on their careers do not know how to spend time at home after retirement. They have no hobbies, do not have too many friends, have nothing to do every day, do not help with housework, and become a "big garbage" in the family. Now, due to the epidemic, Japanese wives have not yet waited for their husbands to retire, and they have found that their husbands have become "large garbage" and need to be dealt with urgently.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" > there was also an "earthquake divorce" 9 years ago</h1>
More serious is the increase in "new crown DV (domestic violence)" cases. According to a United Nations report on April 6, the number of domestic violence cases in France increased by 30% in one week, and domestic violence cases increased around the world. UN Secretary-General António Guterres expressed strong concern about domestic violence against women in countries where they are prohibited from leaving.
In Europe and the United States, where going out is prohibited, domestic violence against women is increasing dramatically, and Japan is no exception. Etoshi Mizutani, a lawyer at Setaga Law Firm, believes that the longer time at home, the mental stress caused by the fear of unemployment caused by the perpetrators of domestic violence, and the increase in alcohol consumption at home have led to an increase in domestic violence during the epidemic.
In Japan, most of the COVID-19 pandemic is on par with the 2011 East Japan Earthquake. During the Great East Japan Earthquake, there was also a saying that "the divorce rate has increased to a certain extent". Especially in earthquake-stricken areas, divorce counseling has multiplied. Divorce counseling in Sendai, Miyagi Prefecture, has tripled from before the earthquake.
According to a September 2011 survey by Japanese media outlets, 82 percent of the 10,000 women aged 20 to 59 "reacquainted" after the earthquake and 11 percent considered divorce with different values. Taking the earthquake as an opportunity, there are not a few people who realize the value of their families, and many people have the opportunity to re-examine the relationship between husband and wife.
After the Great East Japan Earthquake, the number of people who came to consult With husband and wife issues, Okano, increased by 20% compared to before the earthquake. Okano said that after the earthquake, many couples realized the difference in values; there were cases where their wives chose to divorce because their husbands did not care about their families and their wives were disappointed; and some people realized that they had not faced their true thoughts so far.
However, while "earthquake divorce" counseling has increased, the proportion of marriages after the earthquake has also increased. The number of withdrawals from O-net, Japan's largest marriage agency, increased by 20% in March and April 2011 compared to the same period in the previous year. Marriages were married from May to July, and after August there was a 20% increase over the previous year. Takashi Tomita, a professor at komazawa Women's University in Japan, explains this: "In an uneasy situation, fear is high, and the idea of who you want to be with will be. Unmarried people want husbands and wives, and it's a matter of course that they want their families. "
After the Great East Japan Earthquake in 2011, the relationship between the Japanese people changed a lot. After the earthquake, families who rarely talked to each other returned to each other, and strangers began to help each other. The TV drama "Housewife Mita", which set a record for high ratings in October of that year, and "The Rules of the High Golem" in April of that year, both featured the fetters of the family. Indifferent relationships between family, friends, and neighbors have also changed dramatically.
This time, the discussion of "new crown divorce" is not simply to stay at home for a long time, and it is easy to resent each other. In Mizutani's view, whether it is a "new crown divorce" or an "earthquake divorce", there are two common reasons: one is that economic pressure is tied to psychological pressure. It is at this time that one party's career is hit hard, and when the other party will face the family's livelihood problems, the negative atmosphere is more likely to lead to divorce between husband and wife. The second is that there are differences in values in crisis management in extraordinary periods, and one side has insufficient crisis awareness, which makes it difficult for the other party to trust.
(Nami, Sato, Murakami pseudonyms)
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