Your heart, my story, you say, I listen! I'm Tingting, the psychotherapist around you!
A few days ago, my classmate Xiaojun told me that he and his girlfriend broke up, and the conditions in Xiaojun's home were average, but he found a rich girlfriend.
My girlfriend's mother married a very nice person, so she traveled to various places every day and never did anything at home. However, Xiao Jun's mother was particularly busy, doing farm work every day and taking care of her own work.
The girlfriend is a more cheerful person, when with Xiao Jun, see Xiao Jun is often busy and does not play with himself, so the girlfriend is particularly angry, and sometimes she will call Xiao Jun.
One day the girlfriend called Xiao Jun again, Xiao Jun did not pay attention to this girlfriend for one day, and the next day, the girlfriend scolded Xiao Jun again, and Xiao Jun did not say a word.
On the third day, Xiao Jun suddenly called his girlfriend, and the other end of the phone vented:
"Your mother is flying all over the world, and my mother is busy every day."
When the girlfriend heard this, she decisively broke up with the boyfriend, and the relationship between the two people ended.
01. It is important to be consistent in ideas and concepts
It is difficult to change people's minds, especially adult minds have been stereotyped.
Being with lively people will make you feel happy with the people of Mune, will make you feel staying, choosing what kind of life is particularly important, when talking about marriage, choosing the right person is also very important.
George Bernard Shaw said:
"This is the true joy of life; life is exploited for what it considers to be a noble goal; life is completely exhausted before it is thrown on the heap of waste, and life is a force of nature, not a troubled, fanatically selfish little flesh that only complains that the world has not done its best to make you happy."
When you are selfish, you will complain about this society, but when you are particularly tolerant, you will accept everything in this world, and you will feel the joy of life.
The reason why Xiaojun and his girlfriend broke up is because the two people's ideological concepts are different, but the two people have the same point: both people are more selfish, and they have no goals to change, so they are not noble, they are ordinary people.
You are all ordinary people, naturally you can not cross the ideological concept to fall in love, this kind of thinking and concept is different, but also doomed to the two of you will be separated.
The birth of two people is not the same, Xiao Jun's girlfriend was born better, so every day to play, Xiao Jun feels that this girlfriend goes to play every day, but also to pull up their own to play their own mother, but so hard, the other party's mother is so relaxed.
Xiao Jun felt in his heart that the two people were two grades of people, and Xiao Jun also felt that the other party could not understand my own suffering, so there would be a contradiction.
Two children grew up in two different families, and the understanding is not so high, naturally can not experience each other's ideas, and they will be stubborn, which is the main reason for the two people to break up.
Therefore, when looking for an object, we must find a person whose ideas and concepts are consistent, and if the ideas and concepts are inconsistent, find a particularly tolerant person.
02. Some people's poverty is carved into their bones
Sometimes we have to admit our special poverty, but we can't engrave this poverty in our bones, we have to believe that one day this poverty will change, and at this moment, we must be a particularly generous person.
Na Hawthorne said:
"Money is not, as is often said, the root of all evil, and only the greed for money, that is, the excessive, selfish, and greedy pursuit of money, is the root of all evil."
Not having money is not a sin, money is not a sin, we are born different from others, it is not our fault, don't be arrogant, because this is not caused by you.
When I was in school, I often saw some people with special inferiority, because the family was relatively poor, so these children were more introverted, never played with others, and sometimes had a specialty, but they did not dare to tell others, so they were buried.
When you are not born very well, in fact, there is nothing important, what is important is that these things in your family will affect your personality, and this poverty will be engraved in your bones, making you an extremely inferior person.
When you are particularly inferior, when you are in love with others, you will have concerns about this, and when you talk to others, you will hurt each other with this very harsh language.
Although you also have bitterness in your heart, there is nothing wrong with this love object that is richer than you, and you use such excessive language to speak to the other party, exposing that you are truly poor, at least your poverty has gone deep into the bone marrow, and it also exposes your lack of cultivation.
Some people are particularly poor, but the soul is very noble, but also very kind, and the speech is also measured, such people are also very directional, feel that they know where to go, and with such people, although they cannot get material satisfaction, they are extremely happy spiritually.
If you don't have the money, you might as well be a spiritually wonderful person.
03. Timely stop loss is another success of love
Xiao Jun's girlfriend chose to break up, which is also a manifestation of timely stop loss, which is a good ending for both people.
After two people break up, Xiaojun will definitely do some reflection, when a person does some reflection, there will be some growth, as a boy, after falling out of love, there should be a great progress.
After two people break up, the girlfriend will also find someone else, like this family conditions, want to find a man who is OKAY, it should be OK, as long as it does not require the man's appearance.
These two people are not originally a world, so breaking up at this moment is to stop the loss in time, otherwise they will not be able to separate after getting married.
However, I want to live together, and I feel that it is not appropriate, and as the days go on, I become more and more disgusted with each other, and finally all the enthusiasm is worn away, and even a trace of good memories are desecrated.
Maugham says:
"Love needs to have a feeling of weakness, a requirement to be considerate and loving, a passion to help others and please others—if not selfless, at least cleverly concealed selfishness; love contains a certain degree of shyness and cowardice." 」
Love is something that is unclear and unclear, and in this love, there will be many things that we cannot appreciate.
Sometimes we are particularly cowardly because we have low self-esteem, and sometimes we become selfish for money or something else.
But when we truly love someone, we will become shy, but also become enthusiastic, love is such a process, so even if you break up, there is nothing remarkable, at least this relationship can make you mature, the blow of the breakup can also make you grow, which is also a kind of beauty in love.
If you don't love, you must know how to stop the loss in time, and if you feel that the thoughts of two people are not on the same brain circuit, don't be too demanding.