In the original work of "Knowing or Not", Sheng Xuan's adult children have a total of seven children, a total of three sons and four daughters, and Sheng Minglan has a half-brother named Sheng Changdong.
What is surprising is that shengxuan's three sons, whether they are married or out, are all high-flying. The eldest son, Sheng Changbai, married the second daughter of the Qingliu family's Hai family, and The concubine Sheng Changfeng picked up the second daughter of the Liu clan of the family, and as for the wife of the youngest son sheng Changdong, who was the most capable, named Shen Xiuqiao, and was the daughter of the Shen family, a relative of the imperial family.
Although Shen Xiuqiao's parents were only a side branch of the Shen family, they were related to the empress and were also respected by shen Congxing, the uncle of the state, and they were also high-ranking.
What's even funnier is that in addition to sheng changbai's marriage being carefully planned and proposed by Sheng Xuan and mrs. Sheng, the marriage of Sheng Changfeng and Sheng Changdong is automatically sent to the door.
Liu Clan originally had a marriage contract, but the man's character was inferior, the family style was not right, and there was a eldest son when Liu Clan had not yet passed the door, it was not a good family at first glance, Liu's parents found Sheng Xuan in order to prevent their daughter from jumping into the fire pit, and could not bear the reputation of repentance, they found Sheng Xuan and gave their daughter Xu to Sheng Changfeng.
As for Shen Xiuqiao, it was also her parents who took a fancy to Sheng Changdong and asked Zhang Guifen, the only daughter of the British public, to be a matchmaker and completed the marriage with Sheng Minglan.
Among the three daughters-in-law of the Sheng family, Shen Xiuqiao's ability is the worst, he doesn't understand anything, he can't be a housekeeper like Haishi and Liushi, and deal with human relations, after all, Haishi and Liushi have been trained by their mother's family since childhood, and they have already practiced the skills of eight-sided exquisite, and Shen Xiuqiao's family is an upstart, lacking foundation, and cannot teach their daughters these at all.
However, after getting married, Shen Xiuqiao lived very comfortably, even more comfortable than Hai and Liu, she did not need to go to the housekeeper like Hai, and she also had to deal with her mother-in-law Wang Ruofu from time to time to find trouble, nor did she have to adjust her husband like Liu Shi, to cope with the difficulties of her mother-in-law Wang Ruofu, and to have a hard confrontation with Lin Yanshuang.
The family is rich, the door is noble, and there is face in and out. The mother-in-law is not there, the mother-in-law is not there, the eldest brother and sister-in-law are not there; the father-in-law is harmonious, the third brother is harmonious, and the third sister-in-law is more harmonious. She doesn't have to stand by the rules, no mother-in-law to serve, no concubine to trouble, and no husband who loves to mess with flowers and grass to be sad.
Although the husband Sheng Changdong is not as successful as the two brothers, but he is also a two-ranked soldier, has a good future, and is very loving, there is no half a person in the house, even if she is not pregnant for a long time, the husband is not in a hurry, but comforts her who blames herself. At that time, his mother-in-law, Wang Ruofu, was sent to his hometown to atone for his unfilial behavior towards his mother-in-law, and her husband's mother respected her very much, and did not dare to put it at all.
The reason why Shen Xiuqiao is so happy is mainly because he chose the right mate. Marriage is like a woman's second reincarnation, and mate selection is the first and most critical step.
As Shakespeare said: "Unsatisfactory marriage is like a hell, a lifetime of chickens and geese fighting, not a peaceful life, on the contrary, choosing a satisfactory spouse, you can be harmonious for a hundred years, endless happiness." ”
Shen Xiuqiao's experience tells women that finding a husband by two points will not be too bad, and these two points are also the two points that cannot be ignored when choosing a mate.
First, a man's character and ability are very important and indispensable.
The reason why Shen Xiuqiao's parents were willing to give their beloved daughter to Sheng Changdong, who was born from Shuzi, was mainly because they looked at Sheng Changdong's character and ability.
The first is character. Sheng Changdong is the most unfavored Aunt Xiang, has been begging for a living under Wang Ruofu's hands, not valued by Sheng Shao, fortunately, under the teaching of his mother Aunt Xiang, Sheng Changdong has grown into a kind, righteous, helpful, good and evil, filial piety.
Because Sheng Minglan helped himself to read and learn to write, so Sheng Changdong and Sheng Minglan had a very good relationship, and he also knew that when Sheng Minglan and Sheng Molan fought, and Sheng Molan tried to scratch Sheng Minglan's face, Sheng Changdong paid no attention to Lin Mingshuang's threat, stepped forward, said justice for Sheng Minglan, and even swore to testify about his future, and in the end, Sheng Molan was severely punished and returned Sheng Minglan justice.
As for the acquaintance with Shen Xiuqiao's mother, it was also because he had done good things. Shen Xiuqiao's mother went out to worship the Buddha, and when it rained, she lost her feet and could not go down the mountain. Sheng Changdong happened to pass by, and he personally carried Shen Xiuqiao's mother down the mountain, got the favor of Shen Xiuqiao's mother, and noticed the teenager.
"A few months ago, the old aunt went to incense, who knew that the rain and slippery mountains, can not walk the car, only the mother-in-law and the beard, the old aunt fell on her feet again, can not move. At this time, I met two young readers, carrying an old lady down the mountain together. After descending the mountain, one of the young men accompanied his grandmother home, but the other turned back halfway up the mountain, and Tete came to find the old aunt and carried her down. When I was talking on the road, I learned that the young man was the brother of the official eunuch family in Beijing, and it was rare to be honest and honest, and he was enterprising in reading, and my old aunt moved her mind. ”
Character is found in detail, and the character of a helpful and kind-hearted person is not far behind.
Secondly, it is the ability of Sheng Changdong. Shen Xiuqiao's parents also inquired that Chang Dong could be tested for the child' birth, how old was this, and the future would not be too bad.
Whether it is ancient or modern, whether it is parents choosing a mate for their daughters or picking men themselves, they all have to look at ability, after all, supporting a family is the basic requirement of society for men. It is difficult for a woman to cook without rice, and no matter how loving you are, you can't drink the northwest wind to live a life!
Second, how a man's family style is related to his three views and the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, can not be sloppy.
A man with excellent character and the ability to give his wife and children a stable home has passed the test himself, however, marriage is not a matter of two people, it is a matter of two families. In many marriages, what worries women the most is not the husband, but the husband's original family.
The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the relationship between sisters-in-law and relatives, once tossed up, is enough for women to suffer, even if the man protects you, it is not as good as finding a spouse with a good family style and a reasonable family.
Shen Xiuqiao's parents also looked at the Sheng family's family style, believing that with the Sheng family's family style, the children and grandchildren would not be too outrageous.
Although the teenager with the surname of often reads better, but in the end the family is thinner, to the Sheng family such a poetry book heirloom, there are elders have rules and family foundation, most of the children and grandchildren will not be too outrageous, not to mention there are many noble relatives, even if they can't rely on it, take it out to talk about it.
Just as Shen Xiuqiao's parents expected, the Sheng family's door style is very correct, Sheng Shao eats a long and wise, strict discipline of his sons, not only will he be eager to urge his son to study three times a day, take the meritorious name, earn a future by his own ability, but also teach his son not to spoil concubines and destroy his wife, and the eldest son must be married. Under the strict discipline of Sheng Xuan and Old Lady Sheng, the Sheng family's pet concubines completely stopped the unhealthy trend of destroying their wives.
When a woman chooses a mate, she must pay attention to two points, first, how good is the character and ability of the person you marry, and whether it is worth your lifelong trust. Second, how his family is and whether they are easy to get along with.
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Today's topic: Do you think the most critical factor affecting marriage is mate selection? Feel free to share your views in the comments section.