When children start to write homework, many "loving mothers" can suddenly become "tiger mothers", and the requirements for children are very strict. Parents are strict enough to make children more serious, which is what parents think, but it may not be able to receive good results.
In an episode of the variety show "Teenagers Say", a little girl in the fourth grade told her experience of doing homework. She said: "My mother made me five rules for doing homework, first, don't copy the wrong question; second, don't read the wrong plus or minus sign; third, don't make a self-explanatory mistake; fourth, don't be unserious; fifth, don't write the wrong number." If I made these mistakes, my mother would hit me with a ruler or a rubber sole, but it hurt. ”
Hearing her daughter complain, her mother also expressed her heartache, but she also had her own reasons. The mother said to her daughter: "Mom doesn't want to beat you, every time Mom hits you, it hurts more than you!" You are not a stupid child, in the eyes of your mother you are the best child, and your mother is afraid of regretting because of the problem of her mother's education. ”
The little girl retorted to her mother and said, "But, Mom, you don't know, I am very nervous every time I write my homework, so scared that I don't have the heart to write my homework." ”
The mother writes homework for the child, but because the way is not right, the child cannot concentrate on writing the homework because he is afraid of the mother's punishment. Now you think about it, have you ever treated your child like this, and if so, correct it quickly.
Parents often educate their children in a scolding way, which will make their children "stupid"
Parents beat their children, and although the child's body is not injured, there may be "internal injuries".
Studies have shown that children under the age of six have imperfect nervous system development. The sudden outbreak of negative emotions of parents will stimulate the child's brain nerves and affect the child's memory.
In early childhood, the child is often subjected to verbal violence by his parents, which will make the connection between the language area of his brain and the prefrontal lobe less, and the child's comprehension ability will become worse. Children have poor comprehension ability, poor memory, low IQ performance, and so on.
When parents scold their children, the children may become rebellious
I saw in the video a mother, the child is only seven or eight years old, addicted to playing with the mobile phone can not help themselves. When his mother tried to take the phone from his hand, he rushed over to fight with his mother.
The child was only a few years old, and it was obvious that he could not beat his mother, but his mother obviously had no good way but to beat him. Parents always use the method of scolding to educate their children, when he feels that he has the ability to rebel against you, he will become rebellious, and it is really terrible to use the same method against you.
Parents scolding their children will make children feel inferior and timid
If the child's heart is particularly sensitive, we can't scold the child. Mom and Dad's scolding, let the child feel that the parents do not love me, I am a very bad child, not worthy of mom and dad love, the child is less and less confident, the personality has become inferior, introverted.
Parents are reluctant to scold their children, but when children make mistakes, they always make parents very mad, and when you are always angry and want to hit your children, you may wish to do so.
I. Parents crouch down and listen to their children's thoughts.
The child makes a mistake, of course the parents must discipline the child, but do not rush to threaten. We need to let the child talk about the process of things, the reasons, whether things are what we see. Many children will realize their mistakes in the process of narration, and our emotions will be alleviated. Parents accepting that their children have made mistakes and then punishing them with effective means may be more educational than scolding their children.
It is okay to punish the child, but do not hurt the child's self-esteem.
Does the child have face? Of course there is. When we criticize and educate children, it is very important to protect their children's self-esteem. Respect for children is the premise of our education of children.
In front of many people, do not expose the child's shortcomings, do not punish the child's mistakes. The punishment of the child should be that when there is no outsider, the child is more likely to accept and correct it willingly. A child's self-esteem is hurt, which may provoke rebellion and make some more extreme behaviors.
III. Parents should learn to think differently and consider their children's feelings.
If parents want to correct their children's wrong behavior, they must first understand why their children do this, and we understand their children's feelings in order to prescribe the right medicine and help their children progress. If you always use the way of scolding the child, imposing your own ideas on the child, and do not understand the child's feelings, scolding is useless.
Parents learn to empathize, and they will find that their children are not as bad as you think, and educating their children is smoother.
Don't let parents scold their children, are you worried about being afraid of spoiling your children, such worries are superfluous. Good kids are never scolded, encouragement, communication, cooperation, many methods are more effective than it.