Our life is like the four seasons of the year, there are warm springs, there are vibrant summers, there are golden autumns full of harvests, and there are also eclipsed winters.
Such a year-round season seems to be like a person's mood, there is self-motivation, there is excitement, there is happiness and satisfaction, there is also anxiety and complaints.
We are constantly struggling with emotions, including the joys and sorrows of life, including the different states of getting along with each person.
As we get older, we gradually find that we are constantly changing. Some people are slowly getting better, and everything is changing in the way they want it to be.
Some people are trapped in a circle, struggling, anxious, and miserable, but she or he would rather go around in circles than try to get out.
This type of person is easily unhappy in the married life and always struggles in pain.
What does it look like after marriage? Do you feel anything has changed in your opinion? What do you think marriage has brought you?
After marriage, all of us will face the normality, the female protagonist inside, the male protagonist outside. Whether a woman works outside the home or carries a baby full-time, she will put the family first.
No matter how busy you are at work, you still have to take on family responsibilities when you return home. Family chores, the education and upbringing of children, as if women must live an all-powerful life.
In fact, not everything is needed, and life can become better by doing everything well.
Only by truly doing yourself well can life get better and better, and life after marriage will not get worse and worse.
Why do we not feel happy after marriage, we always feel that something is missing, not as sweet as when we were in love?
Because we all live the way others want to, we gradually lose ourselves.
Chai rice oil and salt days, naturally no love is romantic, the triviality of life makes you gradually less happy and diligent. You find that as long as you live according to the thoughts of your other half, you will have a lot less unpleasantness and quarrels.
And you have become the mother of the child, and you have to do a lot of things. The burden of life seems to sink a lot at once, and the longer the days go by, the heavier this feeling becomes.
Every time you have an argument with him, you feel physically and mentally exhausted, and those negative energies will constantly hit your brain. Let your emotions constantly explode, generating a lot of complaints and negative energy.
These negative emotions will also appear when you take care of your children, every corner of your life is wrapped in negative energy, and gradually you really live like others don't want to see.
Complaining, anxious, negative, no vitality, full of negative energy.
Why is that? Because you have all your eyes on others, you would rather change for others than ever think about changing yourself.
You'd rather change someone else than think about how to make everything better by changing yourself. In fact, at this time, I am at the lowest level of the NLP logic hierarchy model, the environment.
At this level are the lowest-level growers, and their first reaction after encountering problems is not to find the reason from themselves, but to blame the cause on the external environment, such as lamenting their bad luck, not meeting a good boss, not finding the right person,...... In short, everything is someone else's fault, and I am not wrong. Such people are emotionally unstable and are often full of complainers.
You are too susceptible to the influence of the environment, never look inward when something happens, and always attribute these bad things to others.
Such a self must be tired, and I have been struggling with how others should treat themselves.
You must know that marriage requires two people to run together, not that you can be happy by paying all your married life, nor that you can live by relying on each other for everything without quarreling.
Children are not puppets, everything is done your way. All things in life, whether it is a husband and wife relationship, or a parent-child relationship, need to use their brains and master methods in order to have good results.
Why are you still stuck at the level of being affected by the environment because you are surrounded by the anxieties of life. Your cognition has always stopped at changing others, constantly giving for others, and hoping that others can see your efforts.
But in life, others can't see your efforts, and they often blame you when things happen. You give everything for that home, and in the end you don't get any comfort. So you are anxious, complaining, irritable. You give so much, why doesn't anyone understand, no one understands?
You are wrong to lose the perception of yourself and others. So in the days to come, you will be led by other people's emotions, dare to be angry and dare not speak. Even some of their own ideas are ignored, or evaded.
The longer such days pass, the less courageous you become to change yourself, to escape problems, anxiety, and pain that are constantly in your cycle of life.
There are always more ways than problems, and as long as you are brave enough to change, many things will be solved.
The only way is to face it squarely, to see it clearly, to dismantle it, to dissolve it, not to give it the opportunity to enter the subconscious, not to give it the opportunity to become blurred; even if it has entered the subconscious, find a way to dig it out. So, when you feel an inexplicable, inexplicable feeling in your heart, sit down and ask yourself questions.
You want to become a self-aware person, the so-called "self-awareness", that is, from the perspective of your own identity to think about the problem, that is, "what kind of person am I, so what kind of things should I do?" From this perspective, all choices, methods, and efforts will automatically transform into the appropriate state around the construction of self-identity. Such a person is a person who truly lives out of himself.
1 When you encounter a problem, first calm yourself down and think about why this is the case. Don't have too many negative emotions, calmly solve the problem on the spot
Others are wrong, actively communicate to solve the problem, and take the initiative to apologize to get the forgiveness of others. Instead of dragging out the problem again and again, the contradictions accumulate more and more.
2 Develop the habit of self-reflection.
Often reflect on the people and things in life, often reflect on themselves, continue to carry forward what is done well, and correct the bad places. Two people get along, and no one is perfect. You can't change a person, but you can influence a person through your own changes.
Only when you become better can that person really see your change, and you can really influence others.
Complaining, anxiety, and negative energy not only make yourself negative and low, but also bring negativity and darkness to the people around you.
In such a state of life, how can you feel the warmth and love of the sun? Let yourself be pulled out of the haze, isn't it good to spend time on other things?
You can quietly read a book, go outside to feel the broad mind of nature, or take a class to improve yourself. But as long as you can find your own fun and life choices, you will not lose yourself in marriage and trap yourself in a circle.
A person with a self must be a person who can manage his emotions well, and he is also a person who is not empty in his heart. Be able to face the bittersweet and bittersweet of life with courage and perseverance. Even if such a person has a bad life, he can still find the joy of life without losing himself.
A new year, a new journey, you should have a new self.