Text | Rice grain mom
The birth of a child in Japan should be joyful, and the birthday of this 11-year-old boy in Jiangsu is a bit out of the box.
The birthday scene is a gathering of relatives and friends, a table full of cakes and delicacies, but the child does not have a little birthday joy, sitting on a chair and collapsing and crying.
It turned out that his mother prepared a special "net red" cake for him.
The words written on the cake are not blessings such as happy birthdays, but 13 cold words: The earth is not destroyed for a day, you have to write your homework!
What makes the child more devastated is the pattern on the cake, not Pikachu, not Ultraman, but realistic math textbooks, English textbooks...
What should have been an annual feast has become an unforgettable memory. This child probably did not expect that the cake that only appeared in the paragraph became his nightmare.
After seeing this video, Melee frowned and said sympathetically: "He is so miserable!" ”
Rice's mother has seen many unique videos of gift-giving.
A child carefully prepared a teacher's day greeting card for the teacher, and the teacher gave the child a workbook in return;
There are children who send drinks to the firefighter uncles to give love, and firefighter uncles buy a bunch of exercise books for the children with their backhands...
These unique ways of returning gifts, onlookers laughed, full of comedic effects, but after the child received it, I don't know if I will regret the generosity of the original!
In the adult concept, this is just to amuse children and have fun. But in the end, only the adults themselves are happy, and the children are miserable.
Hoping for the stars and the moon, finally looking forward to the gift, the result was worse, just a carnival of adults.
Teasing a child and teasing a child are two completely different concepts.
Teasing children is based on the premise of the child's happiness, adults put themselves in the child's position, in a way that the child can understand and accept, let the child get happy.
Teasing children is the condescending use of children's naivety by adults, deliberately making mistakes, crying and being afraid.
The purpose of teasing children is to make adults happy, and to bring humiliation, worry or loss to children.
These adults think that it is "teasing", but in fact, it is a way of "teasing", which is really too unpleasant for children.
The mother who gave the child a textbook cake said that the child liked Pikachu, and the cake that had just been ordered was also Pikachu.
But the child is about to take the final exam or play games every day, so he temporarily changes the cake, hoping to remind the child to study well.
When it comes to giving their children a birthday cake, parents have absolute power to change the style at any time.
For children, the annual birthday is a long-awaited holiday.
They can happily eat cakes and blow out candles, receive gifts from friends and family, and gather together for blessings, which are good memories.
Such a rare day has become a scene where parents are well-intentioned to learn, sad, right? Sad, huh?
Parents occupy the moral high ground, am I not right? Shouldn't homework be done? Shouldn't I learn?
Even if the child is uncomfortable in his heart, he can't tell his parents, because the parents are very correct, they can only eat yellow lian dumbly, and it is difficult to say that there is suffering.
Clear-eyed people can see that this kind of net red cake is to add to the blockage of children, but why are so many people still flocking to it?
Rice grain mother is thinking ah, this is a distorted educational cognition. In the eyes of some parents, they are above their children, and they have never regarded their children as independent and emotional people.
Looking at the children who are crying and crying, they will not feel the heart of the child, they will not feel empathy, there is only a sense of pleasure of revenge: let you not study well, now you know that it is uncomfortable, right? How nice to listen to me early!
The child's feelings are not important, the parents' face and absolute authority are important. Parents who have this kind of thinking are actually very scary.
When the child is young, they can absolutely control the child, and when the child is conscious and capable, the child will fight and fall into an endless war with the parents.
Imagine that the child did not eat well, the parents got angry and decided not to let the child play games as a punishment.
Don't let the children who play games also have a fire, you don't let me play games, I won't write homework, let you be in a hurry.
As soon as your parents looked, if you dared not write homework, I would not give you good food and drink and make you hungry.
The child thinks, you don't let me eat, are you my mother, I am not in this house...
Isn't it worth it to repay such a wrong?
The consequences of criticizing children in this way are very serious: children love you far more than imagined" wrote about her cousin in her hometown in Hubei Province.
My cousin was a year older than me, and because he loved eggs when he was a child, I called him "Egg Brother".
My cousin was smart and clever when he was a child, and his academic performance was quite good, but the boys were always extra naughty.
When he was in the second year of junior high school, he was called a parent because of a small matter, and the second uncle found his cousin in the classroom and slapped him without saying a word.
In the second year of junior high school, I guess he may have a favorite girl. In front of the whole class, he was slapped by his father, and he couldn't hang on to his face, and all his self-esteem and self-confidence were shattered into slag.
He dropped out of school since then and played games at home for more than twenty years... Now he is still at home and old, he does not go to work, he is so sick to live. The cousin also became the second uncle's heart disease, and both father and son were entangled and in pain.
In the process of educating children, the more parents care about their own face, the easier it is to lose face.
Just like the second uncle with a good face, he felt that his cousin was naughty and was humiliated by the parents, and slapped his cousin in public, which seemed to maintain his own face: I was strictly disciplined by my children, but the children were not angry.
In the end, the cousin used his own unprofessional work to completely disgrace the second uncle. At this time, what face and parental authority are we talking about, is it like a joke?
The so-called parental authority is nothing more than a fig leaf for bullying the weak in front of weak children.
If you don't study well, I will remind you on your birthday that such "good intentions" can only be used on weak children.
A similar method is used on adults, and it is polite not to fight.
For example, on the day of the birthday, the unmarried are urged to marry, those who do not make a lot of money are urged to work hard to make money, those who do not have children are urged to give birth, those who give birth to a second child are urged to have a second child, and those who give birth to a second child are urged to have three children...
Look at these internet celebrity cakes, only textbook exercise books, this is not clear is bullying children young?
Of course, many truths do not make sense among adults, and when they are changed to children, they will immediately rise up.
How important is learning for children, and how unprofessional it is not to learn. I am all for your own good, and the parents' beloved son is far-reaching.
"I'm all for your own good", "You're still young and don't understand things", "Listen to your mother's right"...
Everything I do is to make you study well, and with such a fig leaf, all the extreme behaviors of parents have a grand excuse.
Rice grain mother is a feeling, in the child does not like to learn this thing, many parents are accomplices.
Although, learning is the child's first priority at this stage. Mothers use all available opportunities to urge their children to study well, which is also a good intention.
It's just that this kind of supervision regardless of the occasion is purely to add to the blockage of the child and make the child hate learning even more.
As an old mother who wrestles with elementary school students every day, I can understand my mother's concerns about her children's learning.
After the rice grain was out of school, he thought about how to play, who to play, where to play, but what swirled in my head was the list of homework he had not yet completed, and the homework he should make up.
Different focuses see different worlds. When the mother sees the child playing, she feels that the child has not learned, and the child sees the mother urging, and feels that the mother only cares about learning.
As you all know, in our house, I am responsible for rice grain learning.
Rice Daddy once took charge of a summer vacation homework, the result of the rice grains miserable, more than half of the homework, concentrated in the last week of bad supplementation, since then the rice grain father was deprived of tutoring qualifications (thanks to the father, the son cried in the middle of the night to catch homework).
However, the rice grain father is also quite concerned about the study of the rice grain! Although I don't need to help with homework, I often worry about it in my heart and always worry about it.
For example, the rice grain is immersed in lego, which is really the general concentration of "two ears do not hear things outside the window".
The "busy" rice grain father passed by the rice grain, saw that his son was not studying, and immediately posed the dignity of a strict father, and seriously and responsibly shouted at the rice grain, "Rice grain, did you do your homework?" ”
At first, The Rice Grain looked up at him and replied a little sheepishly, "Wait a minute."
After being cared about a few times, the grain of rice was discovered, and Dad really just casually asked. As soon as he answered a few seconds late, Dad had already gone and the shadow had disappeared.
The warm tips of the rice grain father seem to care about the child's learning, a loving father's heart, but every reminder like this is to improve the child's immunity to the two words "homework": having fun and mentioning homework is really disappointing, how is homework so annoying?
Look, the reminder of "pure barking" can make children impatient with learning, not to mention that in festive festivals, give children a blow.
As a parent, it is indeed right to stare at your child's learning, there is no need to even let go of the birthday, right?
I'm just afraid, usually the child's learning is not really carefully managed, to the birthday or many occasions and then deliberately remind, let the child carry the heavy shackles of "mother is for your own good", there are words of suffering.
Finally, the rice grain mother wants to say to the parents who are keen on such mischief: compared with the healthy growth of the child, the face and authority of the parents are really not worth mentioning.
About the author: @Rice Grain Mom Love To Share (Welcome to Pay Attention), American returnee, Haidian parent, when the first place in the new book list "Parent-child English Book That Affects Children's Life" author. Focus on the scientific parenting of 0-5-year-old babies, learning enlightenment, and the world's novelty recommendation, welcome to pay attention! (5-12 years old bao mom please pay attention to: @ rice grain mother channel)