Source: Universal Parenting Institute (ID: huanqiuqinziyou)
Every parent has the wish of hoping for a child to become a dragon and a daughter to become a phoenix, hoping that the child can be smart and get ahead. However, contrary to wishes, some of the habits of parents unconsciously make their children more and more stupid!
Mom and Dad
Did you know that there is a phenomenon called "habitual stupidity"?
Perhaps, you are imposing this evil on your child...
Scientists did an experiment:
Put a big fish into a pool with many small fish, and the big fish swim up to catch the small fish when they are hungry, and none of them can escape its catch.
After some time, the scientists covered the big fish with a glass bottle and put it in the pool. At first, when the small fish swam around outside the bottle, the big fish went up and bit it, but each time it hit the bottle wall... Slowly, the collision of the big fish became less and less.
In the end, it was completely desperate and gave up all its efforts to prey on the small fish.
As a result, when the scientists removed the bottle that had trapped it, the battered fish sank to the bottom of the pool and did not move. No matter how many small fish are around it, or even swim around its mouth, it will never open its mouth again.
In the end, the big fish starved to death.
Listening to this story, maybe you will say that this big fish is really stupid to die! But think about it, the big fish was not stupid, but after countless times of hitting the wall, the big fish began to doubt its ability to fish, and later, it was completely desperate, firmly believing that it was a "stupid fish".
This feeling of powerlessness eventually killed it.
American early childhood educator Kaates has found a similar phenomenon in children, which he calls "habitual stupidity".
He said that in the process of learning, many children will gradually have doubts about learning for some reasons, and thus lose self-confidence. In the eyes of others, they will feel that they are "getting more and more stupid".
In life, these inadvertent practices and bad habits of parents are like "putting" a cover for their children, pushing their children step by step to the situation of "getting more and more stupid".
1. Impart knowledge too early and ignore the child's own feelings
Some parents prematurely teach their children difficult knowledge in order to let their children "not lose at the starting line"; some parents set excessive learning goals in order to make their children not "complacent". However, the child has tried his best but he has never been able to achieve it, and every time he tries to fail, the child will feel very frustrated, and he will become more and more unconfident and worse.
If in a child's life, he rarely gets the feeling of "winning", eventually, he may become a stupid and fearful child.
2. Parents do not have the habit of learning and reading
Maybe some parents will say, I love to watch TV, what does it have to do with my children? However, your words, deeds and realm directly determine the height of the child, and the child is greatly affected by the parents. If you don't learn and don't read, you can't create a good reading and learning environment for your children, and your children will certainly not be interested in books. Reading books can fully open the human thinking brain and exercise thinking ability.
Thinking regularly is the best way to make people smart and develop their brains. People who do not use their brains for a long time will accelerate the decline of the brain, and smart people will become dull.
3. Let your child eat too much at every meal
Many parents keep stuffing rice into their children's mouths after their children have eaten, and they want to eat more and eat more, I am afraid that their children will be hungry if they eat less. As everyone knows, eating too much, people are lazy, do not exercise, brain cells are not active, lazy to think, have a sense of drowsiness. There is a folk saying that "eat too much, support stupidity", which is reasonable.
Studies have proved that long-term eating too full, there will be premature brain cell failure and intelligence decline, causing cerebral arteriosclerosis, more and more stupid, so eating too full, may not be a good thing. The quality of breakfast is closely related to intellectual development, and breakfast should not only be eaten, but also eaten well.
4. Parents stay up late and are accompanied by children
Parents love to chase midnight TV, play cards all night entertainment, in order to avoid children disturbing themselves, often throw a mobile phone, or let the child accompany themselves to watch TV, entertainment. The lack of sleep caused by children staying up late will cause a series of health problems, such as decreased immunity, endocrine disorders, problems in body metabolism, and easy to gain weight, which not only leads to various diseases, but also the behavior of staying up late for a long time is also a serious dereliction of duty and irresponsibility of parents.
Studies have shown that people who often stay up late and don't sleep enough will accelerate the decline of brain cells, and even smarter people will gradually become confused and stupid.
5. Violence against children by force or language
Some parents, as soon as they encounter something, loudly question, or even beat their children, children are afraid of the authority of parents' anger, distorted faces and violent words, and can only choose silence. Over time, it will form an introverted, closed, and quiet personality.
Parents scolding children can not fundamentally solve the child's problems, scolding will only make the child's body and mind suffer greater harm. Children are beaten, emotionally prone to depression, anxiety, etc., resulting in nervous system problems.
6. Only study, no play
Some parents, who have not made a big difference in their lives, pin all their hopes on the baby. As long as you see the baby holding a book in her hand to study, she smiles; when she sees the baby playing and playing, she is furious. Some parents believe that "as soon as the child plays, the heart becomes wild", and every day they stare at the child's learning, learning, and learning, and never give the child time and freedom to play.
What parents have to do is not to prevent children from playing, but to help children develop regular schedules together, not only learning plans, including entertainment, play and play time, etc., combining work and leisure, playing and learning, giving children the opportunity to release pressure and discharge emotional outlets, only by allowing pressure and emotions to be fully released, can they be loaded with knowledge and teaching.
Experts pointed out that play is very beneficial to children's growth, so that children can play and learn in "learning to play, play in middle school", which is very helpful for the development of intelligence.
7. Suppress your child's tears
Crying is a very annoying thing, especially parents, hearing children crying, all kinds of negative emotions pouring into the head: irritation, uneasiness, anger, anxiety, self-blame, especially in public, it is almost like everyone is staring at you, saying: What are you doing with your parents?
So, when a child cries, we instinctively intimidate the child to stop crying. I thought, as long as the child does not cry, the trouble will pass and the matter will be solved.
In fact, you don't know: Crying is a healing process for human beings to heal themselves.
Especially for boys, many parents will say, boys, do not cry, do not show up, etc. to stop him from crying. As everyone knows, letting children become manly is not achieved by suppressing his emotions, learning to make him realize that he must be strong and responsible is the most important.
In the process of a child's growth, negative emotions can not be vented and relieved for a long time, accumulating over time, how can he remain smart and clever, well-behaved and sensible?
8. Lots of negative cues
Many parents have a mantra or a humble word, and often intentionally or unintentionally say that their children are stupid, too stupid, stupid, and so on in front of outsiders or children. As everyone knows, the words and wording of parents to their children will affect their children's mental health.
In fact, saying that children are "really stupid" is the mantra of some parents. Some parents may not realize the disadvantages and even talk about it with love.
However, the child is still young and cannot distinguish the deeper meaning of the parents, and what they receive is the "stupid" information; Sometimes, parents behave modestly in front of relatives and friends, "My son's head is not good, he is very stupid." "This kid is struggling to learn."
Overwhelmed by high frequencies of negative cues all day, how can a child not believe that he is "really stupid"?
For the sake of children's physical and mental health and a better future, parents should restrain their bad emotions and behavior habits, accompany their children to establish good learning and living habits, create a positive, healthy and positive growth environment, and make sufficient conditions for their children to become "smart and wise".
Mom and Dad, I believe you can do it.