Realize that the other person no longer loves you and wants to save the marriage by having children?
You make these few mistakes. But don't go ahead and get it wrong
First of all, if you think you have a child in the middle, the other person won't give up the relationship so easily. This kind of thinking is very dangerous.
Because the basic logic of this idea is that you bundle the marriage by increasing the cost of the other party's departure, which also means increasing the operating costs of the future marriage.
Why? Look at the one below
Then, on the basis of weak feelings, it is difficult for the two sides to reach unity on issues such as children's education and parenting, and it is more likely to have various quarrels in the process of communication.
Make the already fragile feelings, because of the stimulation of quarrels, and break out into more serious conflicts.
It also increases the rate of emotional breakdown, and the arrival of children will infinitely pile up your past shortcomings and neglected problems and push them in front of you until they burst out
After reading it, do you still think that having children can save your marriage?
You must know that in a happy marriage, children are the crystallization of love, which is to make the feelings of both parties to a higher level, but if the relationship between husband and wife has been in crisis, and even the foundation of feelings is not there, the child has become a drag on your feelings
From the hardships of being pregnant with Liujia to the various tedious problems in the early stage of child rearing, all of them require both parties to work together, mutual understanding and encouragement, if you still have to face fragmented feelings at this time, can you imagine that you can really support it together?
Even if you support it together, the dissatisfaction accumulated by both parties in this long process is enough to crush the already fragile marriage.
It can be seen that even having children can calm the conflict between you in the short term. But it does not completely solve the problem between you, only a short delay, and your problem will only play out in a more drastic way at some point in the future
At this time, because of the child, there will be more conflicts, with the escalation of conflicts and contradictions between you, the damage suffered by both parties has accumulated to a certain extent, and eventually the problems you have to face in marriage cannot be escaped after all.
Eventually, when you begin to realize the problem and decide to leave, you will be surprised to find that you no longer have the right to choose freely.
Quote a sentence from the comment
"Two people's problems need two people to solve, and three people will only make simple things more complicated"
The right way to save a marriage is not to curb the other person by increasing the cost of the other person's divorce, because even holding the other person back is torturing yourself.
The core problem is still to learn how to communicate consistently with the other party and how to resolve the conflict
Learn how to explore each other's hearts and collide ideas
Learn how to improve the emotional value of the other party and meet the emotional needs of both parties
Finally, you must understand that the child is not the life-saving straw of marriage, and the only thing that can change him and save the marriage is yourself.