Adults make friends, but also pay attention to "door to door"

To ask a question, how many of you still have contacts and have known friends for more than 10 years?

I was surprised that there were still contacts around me, basically all of them were childhood children, and the old classmates I knew in primary and secondary school were basically more than 10 years, or even 20 years.

But all of this has changed dramatically in 2021.

The reason is simple, we are no longer all the way. Some of them have become selfish and utilitarian because they have been beaten by society after work, some have become Xianglin sister-in-law's daily negative energy because of marriage, some have always liked to show off in front of me because of their worship of gold, showing their superiority and being blocked by me, and some have not speculated more than half a sentence because of the inconsistency of the three views.

The remaining one or two are still in contact, and occasionally everyone just happens to have time, come out to have a meal, chat a few words, and that's it.

Near and far at will, gathering and scattering with fate. It is the basic principle of adults making friends. Happy to gather, unhappy to disperse, without any constraints, come and go freely.

These are what I call, ordinary friends. And a true friend, or confidant, is the kind of thing that has not been seen for a long time, and once the party is gathered, there will be a lot of unfinished words and inexhaustible things.

Even if it is suddenly quiet, it will not feel embarrassed at all. Usually we see each other less, but whenever there are good books and good movies, the first thing I think of sharing with you. I may not be around you, but as long as you need me, a definition is irrevocable.

Confidant, in fact, like the partner, is also indispensable, is a complete life.

Nietzsche once said that marriage is unhappy, not because of a lack of love, but because of a lack of friendship.

I agree with this, love and friendship, nature and positioning are not the same, but the importance is actually the same, is what everyone needs to have, any party is biased, will make life unbalanced, reduce happiness.

There are many kinds of love. In addition to love, there is also the love of family, the love of friends, the love of teachers.

Today's adults are prone to think of "friends" as "connections", and the closeness of being friends with you depends on what value you can provide to each other. As Confucius said, the friendship of gentlemen is as light as water, and the friendship of villains is as sweet as liquor.

The friendship between gentlemen is as clear and pure as water, free of impurities, although plain but long-lasting. The interaction between villains is as sweet as sweet wine, it looks very intimate and sweet, in fact, it is easy to break off relations because of interests.

The so-called brotherhood and friendship of adults are actually just an exchange of interests.

True friends and confidants should be what Confucius said, a gentleman's friendship, the more there is no money and interests mixed feelings, the purer, the longer.

After all, friends are different from family, we can't choose our parents, and the married partner will eventually become a relative, which can't be changed in the short term, involves too much morality and ethics, and it is difficult to be pure.

But only friends can have multiple at the same time, and can choose to replace at any time, the more so, the more we need to find a truly understanding of ourselves, a truly pure friendship.

I have a college classmate who has known each other for seven or eight years from college to work. Before, because I was very dissatisfied with her partner, at first, in order to take care of her face, I was a gentle and implicit reminder, but I was very uneasy inside and felt that I had not fulfilled my obligation to be a good friend.

So after four years of patience, I finally showed off and told her the truest thoughts in my heart, I think her husband is lazy and lazy, will only talk at home on paper, never go out to work, is a jerk, scumbag.

This showdown directly ruined our friendship for many years, because it involved the bottom line of friends. Friends are particularly protective of the short, you can say that she is not right, but you must not say that her husband is not.

But I still never regret it, because I have done it to tell the truth, the starting point is for the good of my friend, I hope she knows and considers this relationship, and does not blindly love the brain. Because I want her to be rational, I want her to be happy, even if she hates me for the rest of her life.

What I don't want is that after a few years, she suddenly woke up and found that her husband was a scumbag, and I, the only person in the know, never reminded her how cold she should be.

The biggest difference between a real friend and an ordinary friend is that he is not afraid of offending the other party, and to tell the truth, there are certain responsibilities and obligations.

If you choose silence because you are afraid of damaging the friendship of two people and being thankless to yourself, then this is not a real friend, because she is afraid of losing your good, the essence is only for her own interests, do not consider the real feelings of friends, such a friend is not a real friend.

On the contrary, after telling the truth, you have lost a friend who is good to you, and you do not have to feel sad and disappointed, you can only say that the other party does not understand you and is not worthy to be your friend's confidant.

Because, a true friend, will not be far away from you because you tell the truth, but will cherish your hard-won sincerity.

Some people say that friends are just passers-by on the road of life, wave after wave, each friend can only accompany you for a period of time, and finally will part ways.

But I believe that true friends, no matter how far apart they are from each other, will end up on the same path, because they are connected to each other and have the same three views.

It is enough to know oneself in life, but one can meet oneself and one cannot be sought.

To become a confidant is not to see how much money you have, to see what benefits you can bring to each other, nor to see how beautiful you are, how able to speak the Truth, but to agree with each other, have common interests and hobbies, and talk.

Although I don't look at superficial things, real long-term friends actually need to be "door to door".

I can't understand whether "Ode to Joy" or "Thirty Only" is a girlfriend, because people of different classes can't be real friends, and even in real life, there will be no intersection at all, which is very unrealistic.

While you're still worried about rising rents next month, your good friend can afford to buy a million Marriott homes and start a big business. How will you feel?

Between friends and friends, what is most needed is the equality of relationships, and even the equality of mentality.

Your difficulties, girlfriends can not understand, because the level is not the same, communication is not synchronized. You care about chai rice oil and salt, and your girlfriend yearns for poetry and song, and such an unequal relationship will not last.

Today's adults can become friends with anyone, because there are interests and friendships. There is no need for the three views to be incompatible, whether the ideological realm is consistent, because it is only an occasional out to eat a meal, talk about the short friendship of the parents, in the end it is just a playmate, which can be replaced at any time, and everyone is the same.

Only when the relationship is equal and the ideological realm is consistent, there will be no gaps because of the small profits of the fly, and there will be no jealousy and hatred because you have become better, but will be happy for you because of your improvement, and share with you, which is the true friend.

If you also have such true friends, please cherish.