01.
In "The Mean", there is such a truth:
"The moderate, the great benefactor of the world." Harmony also, the world of the Tao also. To neutralize, heaven to the heavens, and all things to nurture. ”
The balance of moderation is a good way for people to deal with the world.
And between people, the middle way also applies.
No matter what kind of feelings, we must pay attention to the sense of balance between each other.
If there is a polarization, the feelings between two people are likely to be affected.
In psychology, there is such a term, called: matthew effect.
It refers to a polarization effect in which the stronger the stronger and the weaker the weaker.
When this effect is reflected in the relationship between lovers, it needs to be paid special attention.
People always say that falling in love is easy to keep together.
How to get along benignly between people who love each other is a science.
The rejection of the "Matthew effect" is a very important part of this.
02.
Between lovers, do not be out of balance.
In the face of the person they love, people always subconsciously want to give, afraid that they do not love deeply enough.
Afraid that you will give too little and will not be able to make the other person better.
Or maybe the fear of losing the other person because of it.
As a result, many people will start, endlessly investing their own costs, including time, covering money.
But such wholehearted dedication is sometimes not a good thing.
Instead, it may fall into the "Matthew effect" because of imbalances.
The party that pays, the continuous input cost, the more you invest, the more you love.
The person who is paid for is sitting on happiness and investing less and less.
In the end, in this person's heart, there may be touch, but the love is less and less.
Such an imbalance, for love, may be the final blow.
Remember the movie "Passing Through Your World", there were two such characters.
Yue Yunpeng and Liu Yan played two roles chased in love.
The love between them dissipated in the increasingly polar imbalance.
When I was in college, the boys fell madly in love with Swallow.
Even if everyone didn't want to believe her, the boy always stood firmly by her side.
Because of this, they fell in love and had a sweet college time.
After graduation, Swallow wants to go abroad, and the boy tries his best to provide for her.
He worked as a tutor, helped out in restaurants, and made money on what he did, just to make Swallows have a better life.
But in the end, the swallow still went farther and farther.
The biggest problem between them is the imbalance in paying. Moving does not mean moving.
In love, there is no problem with hard work.
But while giving, it also depends on the other party's response.
Don't break the scales of love, once the seesaw is out of balance, there must always be someone who falls below.
03.
Balance is what love looks like.
True love should be two people who appreciate each other and then walk hand in hand.
Between these two people, no one is stronger, or who depends on whom.
Each is unique to each other.
They are evenly matched, feel sorry for each other, and at the same time, they are also relieved of each other and maintain a balance of love.
If one side gives more in one aspect, the other side will go hand in hand on the other.
This kind of balance is what love should look like.
On the contrary, the "Matthew effect" when there is an imbalance should be far away from love.
I remember that before, when watching the variety show "Dear Inn", I was circled by Liu Tao and his wife.
The way they get along with each other is very harmonious.
No one is better than anyone, two people standing at opposite ends of the scale, flat and stable.
In the show, they need to run an inn.
Wang Ke, who has economic acumen, is responsible for management, while Liu Tao, who has strong hands-on ability, is responsible for the clothing, food, shelter and transportation of the inn.
Their division of labor is clear and clear, and it has achieved very good results.
In their spare time, they will also go to help each other.
Pinch your shoulders, wash the dishes, and do what you can.
It is this kind of mutual giving and mutual understanding that can make their feelings last for a long time.
The essence of keeping each other is that two people gradually run into each other in the process of getting along.
This matter requires the efforts of two people, and one is indispensable.
Therefore, balance is the real way to get along between lovers.
04.
Maintain balance and reject the "Matthew effect".
"Holding the hand of the son, growing old with the son".
Such a case-raising love is the love that many people dream of.
But there are very few who can really do it.
In love, don't just bury your head in the pay, from time to time, also look up to see the other party's response.
It is true that the return on the effort in the relationship cannot be quantified.
But whether the other party really loves themselves, people must have a scale in their hearts.
On that balance, his answer was engraved.
If it is only their own enthusiastic efforts, the other party will always only accept, or only slightly respond.
Well, try to let go of the relationship first.
Even if you try harder, you may only be moved.
Like a boy who loves swallows, it is difficult to complete.
For the rest of your life, love the person who is with you and don't give it one-sidedly.
The one who loves you, just ahead not far away, is waiting for your arrival.